[m i a o w] the cat

Squash It All In

Our good friends PGR & Al were a welcome addition to our household - but it was for such a Short Time! On the morning after the UFO noise everyone but me headed out (without breakfast) on a fishing expedition, which ended up including a bollocking from the facist at the end of the street, who in turn was bollocked on a royal scale by ShutUpAndStopIt and his mate from next door. Fifteen bream were caught, Al almost got friendly with a shark and filled her gumboots (my gumboots actually) ...with water. They all came home beside themselves with excitement, and we had bream cooked over the fire for breakfast - except for Al who is anti-fish - she just likes to catch them.

We headed out at about noon in a little boat borrowed from M's brother-in-law. It was all v.exciting - we stopped on an island and I played photographer while everyone went for a swim.

Then we took off again with our little 20hp Chrysler and after cruising around for a while, we dropped anchor and began fishing. It was fish city out there! Al and I caught lots of undersize ones, M did not too badly, but PGR was crowned Fish Man for catching a mofo snapper. We came to the conclusion that we should have taken a 'What Fish Is That?' book with us, as we ended up returning a lot to the sea because we didn't know what the hell they were.

We hauled the boat out and headed home in time for M and the guests to go and check the crab pots. No joy. But mudcrabs on top of all the fish we had for dinner might have just pushed the excitement level that bit too far. I wrapped up all the fish in foil with garlic, rosemary, butter, onion and lemon and also some potato and sweet potato. We chucked them all on the fire and had a few drinks until deciding they were ready. After dinner (I can't believe how much we squashed into this day) we decided more wine was in order, and that the absence of any marshmallows could no longer be borne. It was v.luxurious to be driven into town by PGR in the hire car - we haven't been able to venture out after dark for months, as the van headlights are notoriously unreliable.

Back around the fire we polished off the marshmallows and the wine; then M and I made the house guests watch the South Park episode we love, 'Cat Orgy' and then forced them to watch our Super 8 film of the great flood of the garden that happened back in February. Then we finally let them go to bed. A grand day out!

Hostly Hostly

Last night we had people we had never previously met come for dinner and stay over. We are feeling very hostly. The female half of the couple in question is my sisters boyfriend's sister. We had a lot of fun, despite our lack of preparation (i.e. one teabag, no treats, no beer). They made us crepes on our little camp stove. Lemon and sugar.

I Don't Like Coughee

I have a curious disease in which I cough spasmodically late at night and early in the morning. In between these times I vacillate between totally vagued out and pretend normalcy. So I just bought some LemSip cough mixture that smells like low grade disinfectant, which I am hoping will provide an instant cure. The past few days have been spent packing up all the stuff in M's mothers house. I have managed to subdue M to the point where he only refers to his mother as 'Old Manky' when not in her immediate presence. This is a good thing. But it has left me pondering Mank.

A curiously expressive word. Indeed, I have been, as I said, pondering its heritage. I can only conclude that it's a collision of mould and stank, however I remained slightly stymied as stank is obviously a past-tense word, i.e.
"Her refrigerator stank."
But mank is an obvious improvement on stank as it can be applied in both the present and the past tenses.
"Her refrigerator is mank."
"Her refrigerator was mank."
(...and it has even more flexibility, as in both of the previous statements, the letter 'y' could have been added to make mank into manky and the meaning would have stayed the same.)

Besides being breathless with awe at all the ways M manages to weave the word mank into daily life, I am intrigued by its very existence. I do recall a friend of mine using it back when I was in about Year 8. I googled mank and ended up with lots of references to mankkind, but on googling manky, I found this. Does anyone else use mank? It's not listed in WordMap - but then again, it's probably not a regionalism.

Mess

So my mum has been gone since Friday morning. This is good. I have the place to myself. But what I don't understand is how she keeps it sooooo tidy?! I look around me and strewn across the bench are vitamins, a half drunk bottle of water, an unopened bottle of wine, empty juice bottle, brown sugar, chai syrup, her notes to me (...the rubbish goes out on Tuesday night, remember to bring the bin in when you get home on Wednesday, if you have to use my car, make sure you use leaded petrol, water the plants, close the curtains...remember to turn the heating off....), then there's this weeks and last weeks Green Guide, my work bag, shoes...the list goes on. I must remember. Constant vigilance! De-messify!

Am going out to play some music with Chris and Mung later on, and decided that I must wash my jeans before I wore them again. So now, whenever I glance to my right, it looks very much like someone has dived head first down the heating vent in the floor. I've spread the waist of my jeans around the vent and the legs are sticking up, filled with hot air, supported by the back of a chair. Creepy. Oh. And just for pointers? Don't read a blow by blow description of the Columbine shootings in (that quite astonishingy crappy) GQ magazine that someone gave you because it's got an interview with Frank Black/Black Francis in it. You will then drift uneasily in and out of sleep, trying to work out three failproof escape routes from your bedroom. Not good for the eye bags that you stayed home last night to try and banish.

Mingling with the Masses

So on Friday night I was in bed by 9pm and stayed in my PJs until midday Saturday. That night I tried to drink Mr Honeybone under the table. Failed. Slept on their floor. Got up, took the tram into Flinders Street and for the first time since high school I got the train to Camberwell Market. Pillaged it for clothes that I will only be able to wear in temperatures of 24 degrees and above. (Feminine practicality and my headache at work.) Got two old books in the hope that they will be highly collectable and I will never have to work again. (General impracticality and my powerball dream in a different guise). Headed back to the city. Marched down Swanston Street in support of World Environment Day and Tasmania's forests. Hopped on the train and a tram to Jocks and got Butterfish with Chili & Lemon Zest Marinade with Pumpkin & Broccoli Salad for my efforts *yum* (the dinner completely deserved all those capital letters I just gave it). And then got a lift all the way to Hampton. So that was my weekend. Lots of public transportation!

Superseded

I travelled all the way from Hervey Bay to stay in another, almost equally unexciting place starting with the letter 'H'. Hampton. I can walk to the beach from here too, but I won't, due to my lack of beach footwear and clothes. Although I'm sure it might entertain the locals to see me striding across the bike track, down the path and on to the sand in my leather boots with heels, I feel I must deny them that pleasure. Having Ellise as my two-houses-away neighbour is a big plus that home doesn't have - as well as a 'Curry in a Hurry' within walking distance.

I am successfully waging my own puny war against the price hike in public transport tickets that I noticed had happened last time I was here. I am one station out of Zone 1, which means that for the sublime experience of staying on the train in the dark for the two minutes that it takes to go from Brighton Beach (Zone 1) to Hampton (Zone 2) I have to pay $3.60: a $9.40 daily ticket instead of a $5.80 ticket. Crud. I have weighed my options and decided that I'm least likely to get caught if I buy a Zone 1/2 two hour ticket ($5) in the morning (in case the scary ticket inspectors have decided to ride the train from Sandringham) and then get a two hour Zone 1 ticket ($3) on the way home. That way I'm cheating this bloody government that I helped vote in (who have not done a great deal of good) out of $1.40 a day. It's the least I can do. Read Diary of an Average Australian for a story about transport and what can be achieved by a bit of well-aimed agitation/media manipulation. It improved my Friday morning.

/..break for computer fumbling/...
The title of 'Superseded' relates to my horrified discovery that my mother has just got a better laptop than me. And not just any better laptop. Her laptop is the next model ThinkPad - the R50 - the precise one that came after mine. It's demeaning, to say the least. So naturally I have now configured it to connect to my ISP (she only uses it to type up the schooll reports of small, swattable children called Niamh, Blake and Jackson). Of course this post was immediately disturbed half way by the lovely lsass virus that I somehow managed to get within five minutes of logging on. D'oh. Luckily I've been through this before and downloaded the little stinger.exe app to kill it off. Phew - and she's still not home from yoga.

Expired

That would be me. Expiring. Headed to the end of the street at lunchtime and emerged and hour and a half later:
Me - a whiting and a bream
Him - a mofo bream
Extra exciting was the turtle I saw swimming along the edge of the rocks. It had barnacles on its back and the whole real live not-in-captivity turtle thing going on. Delovely.

Then I came back home and instead of getting work done I went into slow meltdown mode over our finances, which aren't exactly robust at the best of times, but as it's now one year since we bought the house, everything needs renewing (though why the car registration had to appear now is beyond me - it seems somewhat overly harsh on the part of fate). Argh. Money money money money. Crud crud crud crud. As long as I have enough for this, I'll almost cope. We are v.close to getting some back that the bank witheld from us at the beginning; just have to put powerpoints in the kitchen, rewire a couple of lights and fix the greasetrap *yawn* Am medicating myself with saladas and cheese - the Puppybird is finely attuned to anything cheese related, so I medicated him too. He now eats in the back room where other evil little bastard birds can't peck him on the head.

Rain

It's one of those on again/off again days, where it could rain at any minute. Right now it's decided to come down. Earlier we went fishing and I caught three big bream - and M caught one that was too whippy for me to pull in with the handline - he seems to be coping fairly well with my fish prowess, but I sense he may shortly tire of being my fish caddy. Because we had forgotten to take some books to read, or some of the many Earth Garden back issues I got from the library sale, we were forced entertain ourselves by making up words to describe the feeling of having a fully baited hook untouched by prospective piscine protagonists as mullet leap freely in the air all around us. We have:

Wild Wild Life

Every day there are so many freaky kinds of birds, huge bugs, odd spiders and countless sucidal moths that I am occasionally overwhelmed at the cheap showiness of nature. Particularly since I spent about four hours cleaning the house yesterday - vaccing, mopping, excavating the bathroom and kitchen - only to wake up this morning and find bits of dead moth on the floor and providing delightful table top decoration. Some die in upright position, so it's hard to tell if they've carked it or are just ruminating. It's never bloody ending. Cockatoos, galahs, ibis, puppybird, weird cricket things bigger than your average sized book, kangaroos, ducks - and all these are either in or wandering around our acre! (Note to self: make a [miaow] wildlife page to shock and awe cyber tourists.)

My boss is on leave, so yesterday I became even more easily tempted away from my computer than usual - and as I could (and still can) hear M working so hard outside on the new front steps I thought I would shock him rigid by displaying some domesticity. I even cooked Chicken Vindaloo for dinner (with a little bit of improvising, now I've tested the waters with the muffins). It was supposed to be 'medium' hotness and M ate it looking beatific, while I punctuated each mouthful with slugs of water and vastly unattractive nose wiping. Afterwards I felt cleansed. Singed, but cleansed. Am not sure what M felt, as he had to leave the room.

Oh. Anyone looking for a cool search tool could do worse than try GGSearch. I downloaded it this morning and am finding it v.useful. It means I can get rid of the search toolbar in Opera that I always forget to use anyway. I loike it.

Elastoplast + Dead Man PJs

Yesterday at the Tip Recycle Shop, M found some apparently excellent wood. In putting it in the van, a large lump of last weekends excellent wood discovery fell on his toe. It doesn't seem to be broken, but looks like a sad pork sausage. It got cut as well, so he has been diligently taping it with elastoplast to keep it clean and make his shoes bearable. Today we headed, at 8am, to the market to buy cheap vegies to get us through the week. Also on the list were some flannel pjs for M, who has finally started to feel the cold that has been taunting me since my return. Only about five stalls inside the gates were some wondrous flannel pjs.
"I'm six foot two," said M proudly to the older woman whose stall it was, "d'you think they'll fit me?"
"How tall was he?" I asked at the same time, slightly less diplomatically.
"Oh, he was six foot two as well," she said, "they should fit you."
M held a pair up to himself. They looked like they might fit. The woman seized the moment.
"Tell you what, I'll give you the three pairs for five dollars."
M beamed and examined himself while holding up another pair, thus missing the end of her sentence..."I just don't want to take them home."
She gave me a look that said either my-husband-of-forty-years-died-last-month-and-selling-his-clothes-makes-me-want-to-die-too or my-husband-of-forty-years-left-me-last-month-for-the-slapper-we-met-in-the-caravan-park-at -Woy Woy-and-I-sold-everything-else-of-his-at-last-weeks-market-but-these-were-in-the-wash-at-the-time. I looked at her. I think it was the former. I was brisk.
"Grab them," I instructed M, "they were on our shopping list."
So, upon leaving the market with vegies, sailing books, Patrick White's biography, some discs for the grinder and some passionfruit, we had three pairs of tall blokes flannel pajamas.

A few minutes ago, M, who had completed his toe elastoplasting before retiring, came to say goodnight (I am ensconced in the lounge chair writing a website review due yesterday). As he lent over me, I sweetly requested that he remove the half a dozen or so old elastoplasts that were clugged together in the chest pocket of his new pjs. He looked down at them, looked at his toe and turned a pale puce.
"They're not mine."
I started to laugh hysterically, making all the crickets stop.
M started doing a small dance of horror.
"Get them out, take them out, get them out!"
I gurgled.
"They're dead-man band aids. You've got dead-man band aids in your pocket! Euhyewwwww!"
M ran from the room, divesting himself of the now tainted pajama top, reappearing, moments later, in different, but elastoplast free, dead-man flannel.
"I don't feel happy anymore," he stated pathetically, "and anyway, I don't think he died. I think he left her. Definitely."
And then in a smaller voice;
"Do you think she washed them?"

Sickening

I am refusing to succumb to some weirdo cold that, at present, is causing my lips to fall off and my nose to sniffle. This morning M and I witnessed the evils of nature; poor little PuppyBird got pecked on the head by some evil winged foe. He went all dazed and was barely able to peck cheese - and although he seemed to perk up a little, once he flew off we didn't see him for the rest of the day :o( For lunch we headed down to the mangroves with a stubby of Coopers each and ate oysters off the rocks. Mudcrab Count: we had five big females and a couple of undersized males that got a free feed and a walk to freedom.

Tonight is the first seafood free night in about a week - I am going to attempt spaghetti bolognese.

PuppyBird

For the last week I have been singing (to the tune of the They Might Be Giants song Put Your Hand Inside the Puppethead)

Dumpsville: Pop. Me

I have post-travel post-birthday slump. It's a lovely warm day, I've been listening to the Pixies first reformation gig - a fantastic recording from the Fine Line Music Cafe in Minneapolis on the 13th of last month - but I still have a black labrador draped over my much maligned, but genetically unavoidable, non-existent shoulders. To that end I have cleaned the shower of two weeks of mudcrab grime, washed the dishes, wiped down the benches and have searched the internet for Queensland deck-building regulations. Snuffle, says the dog. So I put on some mascara - a surefire way not to let the labrador have total domination. Although I have been wanting to use the line:

[Boy looking at girl with mascara streaked face]
Boy - What's the matter with you?
Girl - Nothing, my mother was a panda.

The post came. A lovely birthday card from my mate in Iowa containing a CD with (among other equally spectacular things) the exact same Pixies gig that I spent last night labouring over typing the track listing...if I'd just waited twelve hours... Of course, just to balance out my glee, the other letter was from the insurance company telling me that I have to give them $700 in less than two weeks. With amazing alacrity I was able to quickly locate last years amount, which was exactly half of what they are now asking. So I called them. Apparently when I was given my original quote the 'computers were down' and so it came in way too cheap, but they honoured it regardless, and I unknowingly saved fifty percent. Too bad that they never told me so I had no idea I would ever have to cough up more than $350 or so. If they hadn't been so accomodating about getting me a new laptop when mine was fried by lightning (after it was stolen, but before the police took it...make sense?) I would take my my business elsewhere (which I'm sure they would find completely demoralising).

Hmmm. I do remember being told a story about a guy who insured his car by calling a different insurance company every two weeks for a year, and so survived for free on covernotes. [Looks thoughtful]

ThirtySomething

Arrived home forty minutes before midnight the night before my birthday, which was my intention. Left London at 2pm on Thursday and flew via Dubai and Singapore to end up in Melbourne 12.30am on Friday night. Slept for the next 11 hours at my sisters place, having been thoughtfully collected by my dad, who deposited me back at the airport at 2.30pm the same day to get a flight to Brisbane. From there I got a five hour train to Maryborough. Am more than glad to be home! M met me at the station, and I prattled at him for the entire 36km home and then an hour or so until I realised he looked more dead than alive. Sleep is good, though still erratic.

Our house is painted! Huzzah! My dad came up to visit M in my absence and despite my belief that they had done little but consume vast amounts of beer and mudcrabs (from the mangroves at the end of the street) they actually painted the whole house twice. A beautiful deep Brunswick Green, the guttering is Indian Red and the windows will be that Regency Cream colour. Not amazingly adventurous, but it looks amazing and very buyer-friendly *sob*

My birthday was low-key, but I was so happy to be home that I wouldn't have minded if all I'd done was drink stubbies of VB on the couch all day. M gave me a v.cool vintage make-up case with a bottle of gin in it, a new Reg Hill book, and some cool Italian sunglasses. Naturally I'd presented him the previous night with a different bottle of gin and a different book from my travels, but that just made it better. (When I was little my grandma used to give the kids whose birthday it wasn't a present as well - something that I'm sure my mother thought ridiculous, but we appreciated it - so M got some faux-birthday joy of his own.)

Unfortunately M's oldest brother is very ill, so that impacted on the day a little, as we had to help out M's mother by going over and taking all the fruit and veg that she couldn't bear leaving to rot. She had to leave yesterday evening with no warning to head down to NSW to see him, so today M and I will be helping out at his sister's business because she's gone down as well. I suspect I will be resurrecting my long buried skill at the cash register and cappuchino machine. Bizarre.

So, what with my birthday being conducted in a haze of jetlag, gin and homecoming happiness, it feels like I never went anywhere at all! I am going to get all my photos done this week so I don't get slack and let them moulder, unseen, on my hard drive. Will also have to write an overview of my whirlwind tour of London, courtesy of my brother, after I have cleaned all the house sanding dust from my desk. Thanks to those people who called and/or sms-ed me. The rest of you can kiss my thirty-one year old butt.

Goodbye Easter

Had an unintentionally excellent Easter break with lots of swimming, walking, beer, wine and gin&tonics. The weather at the moment is to die for, the humidity is back to normal and it's been about 27/28 degrees every day. I am typing now through a haze of four dark chocolate TimTams and may not come across as hugely coherent, but am feeling strangely affirmed: when I google for miaow guess who is top of the list? Me! Yes, I know...small minds - etc. etc.

Another cause for excitement is the fact that my friend Marg has had her first novel (which I - ahem - had the great pleasure of proofreading) accepted for publication by Penguin!

Here is a better picture of the Banana Bird that M took this morning out the kitchen window.

Pink Lady Wombat

OK, the entry below this one is just me playing around with posting to this page via email. I've been trying to figure out the most idiot proof way I can, and this has only taken me a short time to get working. Typical. I leave for Spain in six days, I have not opened the two travel books I have on the topic, instead I have been figuring out how I'm going to be connected to the rest of the world via a combination of my pocketmail backflip, my palm pilot, an ekno card, foldout keyboard and my brain.

Of course, with all my Palm related research of early last week I have discovered that all my palm pilot peripherals will, of course, not work with my new T3 that should be arriving tomorrow. So I will have to continue to schlep around my old palm to do my pocketmailing, which is kind of dumb. I will keep the T3 for a few months and then consider whether I'd rather sell it and nab an LCD monitor for our recording rig (which, acb, will be up and running by the end of the week).

Last night we headed to M's mothers (I think she was still reeling from the salad meal) for a baked dinner with M's family. I ate too much, mostly because when I encounter roast potatoes and gravy I tend to try and consume enough to last me until the next time, which could be months away. So this morning I got up at 6am (as I'm going to have to do every day this week, because the train I need to get to Brisbane on Sunday is full, and they have instructed me to ring at 6am every morning on the off chance that someone has cancelled their ticket overnight *sigh*) and walked all the way around the block. This isn't as lame as it sounds - as anyone who has visited will know. M reckons it at about a kilometre and a half. Some of which was uphill. So now I am feeling very smug. And I still have half a chocolate wombat (made by the people who created the equally excellent chocolate bilby sitting on my newly clean and tidy desk. Now I just have to mow the lawn, plant some seedlings and make a To Do list and I will have my full quota of smug for the day.

The Wrong & the Right Side of Bed

Sometimes you get up in the morning and although nothing has changed (except the getting of sleep) you feel better. Despite being dragged from bed by M's mother calling to ask me 'how do you find an email address?' I am feeling improved. Thoughts of a new palm Pilot in the post are doubtless cheering my demeanor - I am also reading one of the few Saint books that I've never read before - The Saint in New York which is entertaining me hugely. Even the prospect of M's mother coming to dinner tonight (and the associated house cleaning required beforehand) has not squashed me back into the malfunctioning mess of the past few days. Now hopefully M will be able resist continuing to ask me ridiculous questions like his latest one: "Did Elton John write any of his own songs?" I think he is going squiffy from too much window puttying.

Snail Pace at Knots

Days are slipping past very quickly - it is now less than two weeks until I head for Spain. M and I inspected the Humber door this morning - it is bad, but possibly fixable. It seems to be more of an issue with the actual door hinges, so I think I will start by hunting a set of them down. I may have to get the dent in the front panel beaten straight - obviously this all has to wait on money. Bloody Spain is going to dent my non-existent finances, though my parents have donated me a bit of dosh to survive on.

The other thing that is contributing to my nail chewing is the fact (don't laugh, Honeybone) that I have to figure out today what to get from the guy who sold me the stolen laptop. He offered me another laptop, but as I don't really need one now he said I could pick some other things. At present I'm ruminating on a new Palm Pilot (Tungsten T3) although the battery life appears to be fairly crap - I would love a Palm that had all the specs of the T3 but had the option of AAA batteries, or at least a removeable one. I'm also trying to figure out if it works with my Pocketmail BackFlip, Palm Modem, and PalmKeyboard. Anyway, am also dwelling on an external DVD burner. i am hopeless at this stuff; usually when I'm buying gadget-y stuff I spend forever researching the best thing to get - but I have to get it sorted today. Argh.

See You in Marblehead

Last night my nan took us out to dinner on the final night of their visit. My mother sulked; she wanted to eat at home, but was voted vehemently down. We went to a thai place where the food was sublime. This morning we took them to the station, stopping at a few places in Maryborough to try and get sandwiches for them to take on the train, my mother reeling in shock that no one had brown bread. She had to resort to getting a couple of plain rolls from a bakery. Maryborough and Hervey Bay are white-bread heaven. I'm sure most of their populace exists on it. Anyway. Of course I'd left my purse at home on the fridge so had to scrounge petrol money from my mum, who managed not to roll her eyes.

Said goodbye at the station. I don't know when I'm going to see my nan again. She's heading back to Marblehead, Massachusetts in mid-April. We had a lovely time with her - she loved how quiet it is here. Read her way through a few books. Got the hang of getting in and out of the front seat of the van. For someone who is 80-ish, she is very on the ball. We hit the beach a couple of times, went to every op-shop in Maryborough, went to the movies, visited M's mother, took a tour of Brooklyn House. Most places we went to eat she and I would share a shandy. The three of us walked into the public bar of the Red Roo in Maryborough and drank beer to recover from the heat of the day. My nan has that admirable habit of seeming to be comfortable pretty much anywhere; she left Mudgee, and Australia, in about 1945 as a war bride, married to an American soldier that she'd met in a restaurant in Lonsdale Street, Melbourne. So she's learnt to be adaptable! It was not nice saying goodbye at the station. Nan is not good at goodbyes, and I am worse. I usually get depressed leaving people in Melbourne, but leaving my little five foot nothing Nan was far worse. M and I promised that we head over to the US to visit this time next year when we have sold the house and have some funds for the first time ever. I feel like a wrung out face washer.

Off We Go

We're off in a few minutes to Fraser Island. It's a beautiful day - so hopefully it won't matter that we are without transport. We should just be able to swim on the beach and in the pools. M and I are fast running out of funds... and as the case every second Wednesday I wait feverishly until after 2pm when my pay finally comes through (to be eaten mostly by rent and bills...but hey, at least there's a bit left over for beer). M is strumming the guitar, despairing of us leaving on time. My nan is waiting patiently. My mother is sniffing at things and slathering herself with suncream. I'm sorted - can't you tell? ;o)

Banana Bird

There is a huge banana tree outside our kitchen window. I had never entertained the thought that it would actually banana for us, but about three weeks ago the covering of some pods fell off and there were about thirty little green bananas hanging there. I felt momentarily like I was marooned on a tropical island and had to make a cup of tea. In addition to the green bananas we have inherited a banana bird. We have never seen him before. He's of medium size, brown and white, with a blue band around each of his eyes. He sits just above the bananas and sings his guts out at least twice a day, and then, his job done, disappears.

One Day a Year

I just fought off a cockroach so large that it could have qualified as a dachshund. It was in the sink. Ewww. I survived M's birthday today; more importantly M survived and seemed to have a good time. It feels like no time and an eon since this day last year when we all gathered in the cafe at the end of the pier in St Kilda - which promptly burnt down three months later. M coped manfully with my mother and my nan today - even when my mother out-talked him at lunch and turned him into a shadow of his loquacious self. Thank you to those who sent and called up with birthday greetings - it made us feel less like we're living in the arse end of nowhere... M is now filled with mud cake, coffee and is watching '24' in a state of semi smug sedation. I think his new minidisc player/recorder is a happy addition to his existence...

Sleep Deprived

After having one of those 'thank god I'm back in my own bed' sleeps on Wednesday night, last night I slept for a total of about three sporadic hours. I'm sure it was mostly to do with pasta salad overload combined with some red wine, but there was another factor. For about three months now M has sworn he has another bat friend that makes regular visits. Unfortunately the only other person to see this phenomenon is Rachael P who has not confirmed or denied. I have my doubts. Apparently Bat is quite small and visits (via the bathroom window) whatever room M happens to be in and does two sedate laps with all his little sonars snapping. And then disappears. So last night I'm lying there half asleep and I hear batwing noise. (I'm not sure how I knew it was batwing noise as the closest I usually get to batwings is via my gothy friend, but... I digress...). I heard it go by twice, naturally. M flicked on the torch but we couldn't spot it.

After that, I couldn't sleep. And one of the worst things when you can't sleep is being ultra-conscious of the other person in the bed every time you want to turn over. So here I am. Typing baggy eyed and smeary. Blisters on my hands from raking grass yesterday.

Goodbye & Good Luck

Said goodbye over spaghetti marinara and risotto to the fascinating Claire last night :o( she is disappearing on an odessey of mythical proportions on the 2nd of April. Included in her travels is *gasp* a ticket to see the Pixies play. I almost swallowed the table when she told me. I am consumed by envy. I donated her my ten US dollars that I have been carrying around in my purse for forever, and I got a laminated Hawaiian poster with my name on it in Hawaiian in return. Claire disappears to the US, Canada, and then London...with no particular date of return *waves* Byeeeeeee!

This morning I had the choice between a train that looked like a bale of hay promoting help for erection problems - the connection? A 'roll in the hay'. *wince* As a discerning public transport traveller I chose to wait for the IPod tram - if I can't afford to have one, at least I can travel in a tram that screams it's name. Soon I will write about the trials of Spain.

Country Air

After a large roast dinner at the House of Crime on Friday night I headed to Chris's house to stay in her spare room. Having eaten a meal two times the size of my own head, I crumpled on to the bed and passed out. To be woken around 2am by drunken giggling from downstairs. They were home. After taking about ten minutes to get themselves through the back door I heard N bellow "B is upstairs in bed, Lets go and see B!!" I lay quaking as Chris and N cantered up the stairs, burst into my room, N straddling my supine, face down figure (clad in only PJ bottoms) and played some rapid percussion with her hands on my bare back, while screaming "She's so warm. Chris! Feel how warm she is! Warmer than a Hot Cross Bun!!"

They finally left when I started to scream. Then I drifted back to sleep to the sound of them riding down the stairs on blankets one after another. Many, many times. I made sure that I had the pleasure, in the morning, of running into Chris's room launchimg myself upon her prone and alcoholically aromatic shape and screaming. Once she'd made herself human, about four hours later, we headed to Mungs to practice some new songs, and then headed on to a party at Dave and Ellises, that I finally dragged myself away from at about 2am this morning.

This is where the title of this post becomes relevant. I crowbarred myself into an upright position this morning and after priming myself with panadol, drove to South Gippsland to visit my dad. It's a beautiful day. I've done my tour of the fruit trees (plums, nectarines, peaches, macadamia, walnut, grapefruit, cherry) and just come back from having pumpkin soup in town. Am about to sit in the sun and see how long I can stay awake for. I did an experiment with my old Nokia 5110 and his new tiny Alcatel mobile phone to see which got the best signal. The 5110 won hands down, so now we are watching a few of them on ebay and will hopefully have one bidded on and one by the end of the afternoon. If only I didn't have to drive back tonight *sigh*....

Glug. Sniff

My bloody boss came into work last week with a hideous cold. Obviously it took advantage of the fact that our office has no ventilation (J stuffed a pillow in the vent just like I did last year, because it gets so cold in here that we all had to use hot water bottles and scarves - in the middle of summer) and somehow it weaved its evil way into me. And percolated quietly all weekend. And then decided to emerge today with sore throat, endless sneezing and an increasingly smuffy nose. I don't have time for a cold.

The thing is, I was declaiming last night to my mum and my nan how I haven't eaten fruit for ages - nice fruit seems to be in short supply in Hervey Bay. My nan went into shock: "You have to eat fruit." I shrugged. Ate an apple to placate them. And then another, because it was nice. All to no avail. So now I have to choose my anti-cold drugs. I generally don't take them, but, like the ad says - I have to 'soldier on'. (Not being eligible for sick pay has something to do with this.) Your anti-cold drug of choice? Anyone?

So far Sudafed has been suggested. Personally I'm thinking of the bottle of Johnny Walker Black that my nan and I cracked open last night. With a little bit of hot lemon added in - though that may be sacrilege. I was planning to and up my culture levels by going to see a film, but think I'll just crumple my way back home.

Ratty

As so often happens when I depart for the grey climes of the south, M gets a huge burst of energy. I think it's from being solitary after a solid month of three different lots of visitors. Anyway. He made his own humane rat trap. We think they are bush rats and they have been dancing Irish reels in our roof for months. We compromised on the bait (or so I'm led to believe - I'm so far away he could have put anything in there and I would never know) - I suggested peanut butter and he suggested cheese. It worked. He put the cage thing in the roof and caught a mofo rat a few hours later.

So then the second stage of his evil plan went into action. M and the rat (still in it's cage) jumped in the Humber and went for a long drive. They stopped near a large lot of land that had quite a few kangaroos hanging about and M set rat free. He thought that would be his last sight of rat - running gleefully out of the wonder-cage, but no, he waited a few minutes and glimpsed rat again, bounding over a log. He doesn't think rat was running in the direction of our house.

Wind & Water

This is starting to annoy me. Just before I left for Melbourne in January I planted some sunflower seeds. In the last few days they have grown taller than me and they are now even taller than M! So they're at least six and a half foot high - they're amazing. But we are currently getting winds up to 100kmp/h and they have almost been annihilated. M and I were out at the vegie patch in our gortex jackets hammering stakes to try and save them from being blown over. My corn isn't looking so great either, but at least it's not top heavy like my sunflowers. I was already pissed off that I was going to miss them when they flowered as I have to head south v.soon, but to have them ripped out by the wind... GRRRROWL. The smeariness of this picture is due to the torrents of rain that you can't see very clearly.

...and here's a close up of my sunflowers :o(

Oh. M has just come in armed with his Super8 camera to announce that our little bridge that my dad and Terry fixed up over our creek has just been submerged. Great. More updates soon. OK. I've become a meteorlogical geek. The cats are inside, thanks for asking...

Water Water Everywhere

The backyard is slipping slowly under water. Our regular little creek has formed a confluence with another creek that appeared in the night. It's quite interesting. It also completely validates my plans to sell this house in the dry season... I'm sure some prospective buyers might have a tiny problem with our picturesque creeky things. Will post a picture later. The wind is picking up and we have to take HouseGuests No.6 to the bus station - hopefully they will be able to vacate Hervey 'almost cyclonic' Bay for Brisbane without any freak gusts of wind carrying them off. And Toto too.

Severe Weather Warning

We were planning to head over to Fraser Island today, but decided not to when we heard the lady at the ticket booth telling a whole gaggle of backpackers that the island was off limits due to impending bad weather, and that all campers and visitors were being kicked off... sorry ....evacuated. So we went elsewhere, swimming in between rain showers, dodging swooping kookaburras and grimacing over mediocre coffee. Went past the supermarket on the way home and everybody is buying up like it's the day before a long weekend - not to mention the line up and the petrol station. Hervey Bay is taking this weather stuff pretty seriously! Here's what the Bureau reckon:

A DANGEROUS SITUATION IS EXPECTED TO DEVELOP ON FRIDAY AS A LOW MOVES TOWARDS THE SOUTH QUEENSLAND COASTLINE AND DEEPENS.

Destructive wind gusts to 130 km/h are expected to develop early on Friday between about Town of 1770 and the Sunshine Coast gradually extending southwards to the Gold Coast during the day. The combination of large ocean swells and the high tide Friday morning will produce water levels above the highest tide of the year between Fraser Island and the Sunshine Coast leading to some flooding of low lying areas close to the shoreline. People should also keep out of the water whilst these large ocean swell persist. Heavy rains are likely with some local flooding. People between Town of 1770 and Coolangatta should secure outside items, take any necessary precautions and listen to the next warning which will be issued at 8pm tonight.

The Age says similar things. Of course this means that the kite surfers are already having abundant fun, using all the wind to their advantage. Haven't seen any actual surfers yet, but have begun eyeing my surfboard....

Hostess Twinkie

We have a baby in the house. For the most part he's very good and doesn't take up too much room ;o) He hasn't really had a screaming fit or done too much projectile vomiting. The fact that he's very cute is also in his favour. (although Mung said that this picture makes him look like a little podge....)

In spite of all the attention Luka needs, Mung and Rach are very relaxed with him and we've hit the beach twice, went to Maryborough yesterday and today I'm working (can't you tell?) and they've taken off in the van to go exploring. Poor M is going to be sad when they go, and then I desert him a day later. Fraser Island is possible for tomorrows Grand Day Out. Tonight Rach may be making a chocolate self saucing pudding - and if it turns out well, I may actually just keep her here by force.

Early Early

It's 4am. Got woken by the most godawful cat fight - and as nothing can get into the cat home, I'm assuming that something passed close by - and both the cats endeavoured to let whatever it was know that it should never pass their way again. M proved again that if he had offspring their bad dreams would go unattended (how can anyone sleep through the noise of two cats feigning violent prolonged deaths?) waking only afterwards to say pettishly 'Well you heard them - if you think that they're OK and shouldn't be checked on...'

...meaning...'Heartless cow, just because you can see one of them stalking up and down by torchlight through the bedroom window, doesn't mean that the other one isn't lying there bleeding quietly...' So I lay in bed for another hour, guiltridden. Dwelling on heading out the to cathome, leapfrogging cane-toads, and deciding against it. Daylight will reveal all.

With all my 'hostessing' I've actually just been using my computer for working and not catching up on my regular blog reads! I'd been missing my fix over at missjenjens and discovered that she was no longer in residence there. I assumed that her move to Sydney may have prompted a blogging hiatus. But no. While checking up whether Gianna's baby had arrived I noticed a post (just prior to the birth) about missjenjen having got the boot from her workplace as her blog had been discovered. Too bad she'd already resigned - mwah ha ha ha. So if you're out there missjenjen, remember that truth is the response to all cries of 'defamation' (that's the only thing I remember from my degree - Arts - obviously) and from the sound of the many people that blighted you at the office, they'll only have benefitted from the insights that your blog was kind enough to give them ;o)

Weather

Am still busy playing hostess. After rampantly consuming large amounts of white wine with the very gourmet risotto that Lisa and created, we got up slightly groggily yesterday morning and Drove with M to Rainbow Beach, via Tin Can Bay and Poona. Spent lots of time enjoying the waves at Rainbow Beach - I stood up on my surfboard for seconds at a time (-just call me Layne) - Lisa got her pale gothic skin a lovely shade of British Tourist Red and we also investigated Inskip Point.

After another swim we headed back to Maryborough and had our own personal lightening show on the way. Here is a biblical looking weather moment:

[photo by lisa]

When we got into town every light in Maryborough was out! We headed to the pub, as we were early for our dinner reservation and the barman had one torch, which was complicated by Lisa and I asking for shandys... We sat on the balcony of the pub and watch the light show for a while and then headed to the Muddy Waters Cafe - just as we got there the street lights popped back on - they'd hooked up a generator, but were way behind in their schedule, so I rang through to a Hervey Bay restaurant who told me that lights were still out all over Hervey Bay and that if lights were on in Maryborough we should stay there. So we did. Lisa treated us to a lovely dinner and we drove home tired and floppy from sea and sun. I was so buggered that I didn't hear it pour down during the night, but our little creek is running this morning, and the water tank is overflowing.

Up To Date

Well I am an idiot. Lisa did not arrive until yesterday. We cleaned up the house on Friday and it was only a complete fluke that I SMS-ed her to see how her 'trip up' was going: a message that was responded to by a phone call with her shrieking 'I'm not coming 'til Sunday. SUNDAY!!' So then we had the difficult task of trying to keep the bathroom clean for two days so we didn't have to do it again, try not to drink all the beer and eat all the TimTams. (Tangent: as the TimTams were the new 'Kahlua' flavour or whatever the fuss has been about, it wasn't hard as they smell much better than they taste, sadly.)
So she finally showed up yesterday - two hours late as the Tilt Train had to only travel at 60km per hour due to the extreme heat and threat of the train tracks buckling. Yike.

Picked up a new hard drive so we can try and get some recording done soon - huzzah from what looked like a disused shopfront in Maryborough. It's actually a huge place filled with a million computer bits that is solely dedicated to trading on Ebay - which I thought was pretty nifty.

It is thundering off and on now and there is a HUGE storm that has just brushed by us - with lots of lightening visible fairly far away. M has run out and kamikazed quite a lot of his basil plants (apparently if you chop their tops off, they grow wider and bushier). So now our blender is full to the top of pesto and Lisa and I are skidding in our own drool. I think I'm going to have to look in to the viability of freezing pesto...right now!

She's Finally Lost It

Bye Bye HG No.4

House guests No.4 departed this morning and we were v.sorry to see them go - we had an awesome week! It was fated that M's power saw broke the day they got here so he wasn't able to do all the work that is sitting there waiting for him - instead we went swimming every day, my work hours became more and more 'flexible' and I had other people around to whinge about the heat with and compare bites. M and I got taken out to dinner every night and almost died with delight. And in regard to the bitecount - sandflies got in the mozzie net last night and bit the crap out of me - so now Dylan has a little bit more competition.

BiteCount

Those of you who keep an eye on my bitecount over there on the left hand side of the page, will have noticed that it has only ever hit about 25 or 26 when my bites have been super bad. Unfortunately, one of the things that Dylan has done while visiting us up here has been to render my bitecount laughable. He currently has 70 - seventy - bites - resulting from a badly positioned mozzie net on the second night of his stay. So I hereby bestow upon him the title of BiteKing and I bow to his superior bitedom.

5am

That's what time I got up this morning. It was actually cool. Bliss. Will now have to go to bed at about 8pm, but it was worth it. Our guests have been unbelievably nice to us and yesterday hired jetskis for us to have a go on. M and I had one and they shared the other. The jetskis were brand new (as the hire lady kept reminding us). I've never been into jetskis - they look like fun but they're kind of noisy and it seems like a surfeit of idiots use them at the expense of other peoples more laid back beach fun. Anyway - there was no one at the beach so I didn't feel so bad. I jumped on first and M rode pillion.

Weeeeehoooh! WAAAAHOOOOO!

I went up to 80km an hour and M was hanging on for his life. It was a total buzz! We zipped up and down and up and down, jumped little waves - M had to try some semi-burn outs (or the water based equivalent). Then last night we got taken out to dinner - for the second time (and as someone who has only been out to dinner in Hervey Bay twice in six months, this is a major thrill) and we all tried some deep fried Tasmanian brie. As an entree...which was a mistake. It was pretty nice - but I think I prefer it normal on dry biscuits.

Dylan is majorly into his polaroid cameras and there are pictures of everything being spat out of different cameras - my scanner is in storage or I'd be putting some of them up here. I do have some photos of the new kitchen (I know this is not exciting for normal people, but we've been cooking on a single burner camp stove since June) but I won't bore you. Must get back to the fascination of arson. That was sarcastic, in case you were wondering.

Just Queer

It's 9pm. Humidity is at 80%. I want to move south. Quite soon. Tomorrow in fact. However our latest visitors are kind of liking the weather and are feeling holiday-like, so I am trying to curb my weather-related whining. Gah. Here are the visitors out the back.

Earlier today M's mother rang to see if one of us could take her to the doctor. I had to work all day, so M went along. So they're in the waiting room at the medical centre and M's mother starts telling him about this TV show she watched last night at my urging. She was agog.
"I didn't know B was into that kind of television show! There were men with men. There was a man with a ten inch...thingy...and they were throwing quoits over it! There was a woman there too. But she turned out to be a man as well..."

By this point M was torn between gagging and having hysterics. I'd told her to watch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and she'd stumbled on Queer As Folk. That improved my day considerably!

Slump

OK, my euphoria at coming home has been quashed by 18 mosquito and sandfly bites, large amounts of humidity and M playing Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde. He is possessed by finishing off the kitchen, the proximity of his family and (I suspect) my interuption of his bachelor life. Nevertheless, he continues to make me pesto - so I am valiantly playing the role of tolerant princess. Dylan and Rachael arrive tomorrow afternoon, which is going to be cool - although I have to have a serious chunk of work done by the end of the week and this might detract from my 'hostessing' abilities.

I bit the bullet today and bought THIRTY mosquito coils and a LARGE bottle of tropical strength Aeroguard. Once my next payday ticks around I will also invest in some mega-strength Vitamin B (even though I can find no scientific research that upholds the general agreement that mosquitos stay away from B-junkies). Every little bit helps.

Before I left (just now on three weeks ago) I planted some corn seedlings and some sunflower seeds. They are now both higher than my knees - a product of the huge amount of rain that happened in my absence. Go corn! I continue to plot my revenge on the bastard shutupandstopit next door. I now have M's permission, once the house is sold, to drive past the front of their house and scream 'WAYNE - shut the gate you useless f****** c***!' Which is only a tiny fragment of what I heard him scream at the mother of his children this morning at...oh, about 8am this morning. But I am still tempted to record him in full flight and play it loudly over the fence at opportune moments...hum. Might have to get my blackbelt beforehand.

Welcome Home Me!

After living in a house that I never wanted to come home to after spending time away, coming home to the house-in-progress is bliss. Was greeted joyfully by sandflies and M who had cleaned the house to within an inch of its life, bought me flowers and *gasp* had even defrosted the fridge - which had been resembling the polar ice cap for the past two months.

It seems longer than two days ago that I drove my mother and I to the airport to collect my little Nan, who had travelled from the US to New Zealand on the QE2 and then flown into Melbourne. Apparently there are many fat, over dressed, whiny people on the QE2 - a revelation that didn't really surprise me too much. So I got to catch up with my Nan over dinner, and then leave at 5:45am in the morning with all the loot she brought me (endless supplies of makeup, Burts Bees stuff and a bottle of Glamorous by Ralph Lauren). So I left tired, but smelling delicious. In the throes of my gratitude I also left her some of my new books to read...thank god my mother lent me another case to get all my stuff home. I went from being the world's lightest traveller to burdened mule-girl in just over two weeks.

Oh man, I'm glad to be home!

Winding Up

Work drinks last night at Cookie. Followed by a sublime dinner at Chez Phat. Jeez - I'm feeling dunked in inner-city cool. Get me back to Hervey Bay! (with olive dip in hand). Actually last night was far more suited to my brother, bar slut from way back, currently destitute in London after quitting his job for a better one, which then fell through. I may have to set up a 'Fund For Starving Brother' on this site if he doesn't find work soon. Fingers crossed. Or, as they say in the No.1 Ladies Detective Agency, 'stand on your toe'.

Am very much looking forward to going home to lovely Hervey Bay house - M and I get a couple of days to ourselves and then we have the first of three lots of visitors!! Our spare room isn't going to know what hit it! I am very glad we have one. However I have just checked my horoscope (because I just have nothing else I'm supposed to be doing....yeah right) and it does not bode well for my arrival back into the nest. Get this:

Taurus (me)
Friday February 6th

A Red Rag in the Casa del Toro? The Full Moon in Leo at 19.48 could trigger a fast but deep sense of crisis in your Domestic Reality sector. There could be a sense that something is not working or someone is just not working out. Wait a day before making decisions.

Aries (him)
Friday February 6th

The phone won't ring? The love note won't arrive? You are locked, this evening, in a classic Full Moon in the 5th house scenario, when everything associated with your romantic love life seems to be in crisis. It's worth riding out without burning too many bridges.

I have the fear. Bloody Mystic Medusa.

The Weekend

Besides being the name of an unusually cool band, the weekend that has just past was full of wonder, delight and a weird flu-bug that killed me off at the end.
Friday night was the wondrous Crime-Book Grab!! I filled a box. It was spectacular! I was rather self-conscious about the amount of books that I managed to grab - but, to be honest, it was a mere trifle of what I could have jumped on. However I was limited by politeness, my lack of upper body strength and probably restrictions on my luggage on the way home.

Went shopping for my Christmas present with my mum. She bought three things...for her. I was so swamped by choice after living in the land of Op-Shop for so long, that I didn't get anything, and decided the dosh would be better spent on an frivolously expensive haircut. Then ran from my mums place to Dave and Ellise's awesomely impressive new house (two houses away). They can see the sea from their bedroom. Amazing. Saw my little Sonic cat who had come off quite badly in an encounter with a fox a few weeks previously - but has lived to see another day...

Headed out on the town with D & E and drank copious shandies for most of the night. We ended up in Balaclava - which was so exciting for me, as I was about five minutes from home. Huzzah! Woke up in the morning and felt fine, but then slowly succumbed to some weird, nauseous, sweaty flu thing (no - not a hangover). Stayed in bed the entire day feeling vile. Got up to got for dinner at the Gibson-Roys; who were astonished at my lack of alcoholism - I drank water. Had a lovely night and drove home with a sick bag within grabbing distance (this has no reflection on the dinner, because it was gourmet). Stayed in bed for most of Australia Day. Ate six grapes and some chicken soup - not for my soul either. Now am at work feeling marginally improved. Haven't heard if anyone saw the BM clip on RAGE on Friday night. But I looked it up on the website and it was on!

A Bit Wet

It rained last night. It also rained this morning. But still the water in the bottom of the two little dams out the back was only a few inches deep. Then we went to Hell ...sorry...Bunnings...and there was a fair bit more rain. Due to the nature of Bunnings we did not return home for at least three hours. The dams had overflowed. More than that, they had developed their own dinky rapids, plus a picturesque kind of minor river system that navigated the clothesline.

To Move is To Sweat

It's got a bit better now (6pm) but today I had to go and shelter in the library. Then the supermarket. The rest of the day I spent reading The Weekend Australian - Review on the couch, positioned directly in front of the fan. The heat doesn't really worry M that much, but once the humidity gets past a certain point, it's all over for me.

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Engaged!

Sunday & Sleepless

Returned from market carrying pots of lemongrass, marjoram, thai coriander, pink and yellow blobby flowers, mint and thyme. Plus a watermelon, some plums and some mushrooms. Nagchampa incense and a bag of curry spice mix. Bought some v.light cotton trousers and a singlet with my $30 voucher courtesy of M's mother (who only gave him some $10 shorts - he's still in therapy). Am hoping trousers will stop some of the biting that goes on under my desk - yes I do still have a few square inches of untrammelled flesh. Somewhere.

Happy New Year

A grand night was had - many prawns eaten, many Illusions drunk. Lollies, pistachios....the oysters bigger than my head were the only downer. They were terrible. We got remembered by lots of people - my phone got lots of text messages that all said the same thing...'Get a haircut'. I lie. I have been texting people back this morning, and this makes it sound simple. But in actual fact I have to have my phone positioned halfway out the second window from the wall in my study to make the messages go.

At midnight last night we crept outside to see what would happen. We weren't let down. True to our expectations, their were boat flares fired instead of fireworks, shotguns firing instead of, um, fireworks and that was about it! This all sounds rather disfunctional - but M and I had a lovely night; didn't get stuck anywhere unable to get a taxi home, didn't have to grit our teeth and mingle with the neighbours and didn't get throttled by semi-naked senior citizens inebriated by too much trifle. Hope everyone had a lovely New Years, except for you Tom - I anticipate as part of your karmic retribution you would have been scouring London for a lift home, or passed out in a club somewhere having been trampled by members of the Fiennes family.

Christmas Day

La la la la. M and I barely slept. Too hot. Too many mozzies. Would be easy to be grumpy, but we got an early morning call from Christian, Meegan and Finn to perk us up, and then we called and carolled at other answering machines and friends. More later on. Am making lolly bags for all the people who will be at M's mother's place today - and true to our promise, we have purchased a bottle of gin and two bottles of tonic and some lime. I think it will be the antidote to our lack of sleep and excess of perspiration.

You can find me on my mobile.....Bean, I'll call you later tonight so I catch you when our Christmas days collide.

Dirt & Dust

Went four wheel driving yesterday - it was very rugged and very hot. Lots of fun though. We only knew the couple that we went with, but everyone was nice. I forgot how cool CB radios are.

La La Laptop

My laptop arrived yesterday, ten minutes before the bus station closed. It travelled by McCafferty's coach from Brisbane. I couldn't believe it had actually made it! I still can't believe that I'm typing on it right now! Oh my god. It is soooo exquisite! I am smitten. Particularly because I was told that it was going to be a 'R31' ThinkPad model. I didn't know what that was (as my last 'killed by lightening' ThinkPad was a 'T20'). Anyway, I looked it up on the net and it looked OK to me - a little better than my T20 had been (it was a PIII-700 with a 12gig hard drive and 128MB). So I open the box when I got home. Freaking out, 'cause I've never had a brand new laptop before. And it's actually a 'R40'. Waaaay more kickass! I love it. And I have been tortured by not being able to stay home and play with it. But now I am.

WindowsXP is quite weird. It's like having an operating system by Fisher Price toys. The 'special IBM-preload restore function' eats three gig of space before you've installed anything. So I don't know how long I'm going to hold out before I start wiping stuff and tweaking, but at the moment I'm just happy getting it set up the way I want. No more M's computer taking over my desk with it's big fat monitor. Eating twelve oysters and some prawns today helped my disposition as well. Am getting up early to go 4WD with M's nephew (who is older than moi - LOL). When I am feeling more depressed and evilly inclined I will write about the impending destruction of Toogoom. Alan bloody Border.

All Better Now

Just lost everything I'd typed in one of those freakish computer things where you hit a combination of keys and it taps dances, makes a cup of tea and wipes ten minutes of typing. It is indicative of my mood that I am not even remotely fazed.

After yesterdays spack about money, work, Christmas and being so far from home;the power drill essential to our kitchen dying; finding a new one in town and then realising that I'd left my credit card at home...(M played his role of tolerant comforter to the hilt...not even commenting when I blew my nose on the tea towel)...

Began by moving all the boxes of stuff from Melbourne that are moldering in the carport (deluged by mice, cockroaches and cane toads) into the van. Then I am going to take it all to a storage place where they will charge me the quite astonishingly reasonable sum of $25 per month - and there are exciting things like sensor operated security cameras and boom gates that you can operate with a secret pin number. Thrilling.

As I was in the middle of transferring boxes, Bean called from overseas. He hasn't been able to explore Dublin as he's out of town and every time he's tried to take off, they call and haul him back. Apparently this does not worry him at all as he's charging them by the hour and then some. Plus the exorbitant Christmas bonus. Huh. So then I got disturbed by the little white car that delivers the post beeping at the front gate - there was a big Honeybone package full of WONDROUS BOOKS for my delectation!!! All hail the Honeybone!

Then Mung called and they are coming up to visit in March sometime, and he said that there may be enough money in the band account to put out the video clip to Seven. That would be spesh. Told him of all my computer woes and he told me how baby Luka was scone-d by a laptop falling from the overhead luggage compartment when they came back from Sydney :o(

On top of all this excitement, I spoke to the guy who is the computer agent for AAMI and asked him when my laptop would be arriving. He said that the couriers they use are notoriously secretive about their methods, but he had been able to extract from them that my laptop is currently on a McCafferty's bus on the way to Hervey Bay - and if I go and meet the bus in town at around 4:30pm today, I can collect it!!! I can hardly breathe for joy! Freaky. Have got a lovely card from Lorraine (hello Lorraine...I lost your email address in the great computer debacle).

I have bubbled long enough. Back to the boxes. La la la la la la.

Wheels of Justice

What an exciting morning. M and I, the uber-neighbours, said that we would go with the lady-over-the-road to hold her hand while she gave evidence in court. The case involved the prior owner of our house, and the fact that whilst renting it out, she broke in and stole stuff from the tenants (I'm sure that I should be slotting in the word 'allegedly' somewhere, but I digress...) - as well as this she had kidnapped and dumped the other neighbours dog, lost custody of her daughter through neglect, and genrally abused everyone in the surrounding area. No wonder the kids that live nearby still walk on the other side of the road when they pass our place.

So we get to Maryborough Courthouse at 9:30am. It's a beautiful building with a stunning view of the river and park. Luckily. Because we had to sit on the verandah and look at it for three hours. The freaky-woman in question turned up an hour late - I expected some demonic looking, malnourished harridan, but instead saw a plumpish, good looking, Samoan chick dressed in white and looking very together. She did give dagger looks to the lady-over-the-road, but apart from that there was no interaction. And after three hours of waiting we were told that we wouldn't be required anyway. Argh!

Couldn't believe it. M, naturally, suggested a coffee. In my trusting way I anticipated that lady-over-the-road would pay for our drinks, so I ordered a kickass iced mocha. No joy. We paid for our own beverages. Didn't get a 'sorry about all the hassle' and got dropped home about 40 minutes later. Hmmmm. Not sure what to think. In an effort to diminish the illusion that the day was a total write off, I attacked a quarter of an acre with fierce determination (and the lawnmower). Update:We got given a bottle of red the next day, so now I feel evil.

In regard to the other, more karmic wheels of justice, my laptop is looking more and more possible. I am told I will get it on Friday. Do I trust them? I'd like to.

Precipitation

It's raining steadily, Mae is over on Fraser Island and M is above my head playing on the roof. He says he's checking the gutters, but I'm completely convinced. I was going to make some lame reference to how it doesn't seem to drizzle here it just buckets down and that's what I like about it compared to Melbourne where drizzling is a specialty; but last night Melbourne had extreme downpours and flash floods, so my comments would not only be inappropriate but wrong. On the news they said:

Nasturtium Seedling: I think this is what it's supposed to be like when you're lucky enough to get planted out. It rains everyday. Forever.

Lettuce Seedling: They told me at the shop that this is what life could be like. I'm 95% water and so is everything around me! Aaaah.

Beth: Remember this conversation when I forget to water you. Stop talking and concentrate on becoming salad material.

Wet Green Tree Frog

Mae found a fat green tree frog sitting in the toilet bowl this morning. She was so enamoured by it that she carried it around with her for a little while before putting it outside the bathroom near the grey-water hose. A BIG improvement on the ever present cane-bloody-toads. M is currently taking great delight in feeding the magpies pumpkin. Maybe this is why I sometimes find one sitting in the back room on the table. Today my dinner was eaten by a bird - no pumpkin in my curry. Tweet.

Yawnsville

I am a bad-at-working-from-home person. Here I am blogging while all sorts of exciting things to do with bushfires await my attention. I'm supposed to be writing up the framework of an overview for this topic I'm working on. Is it emerging from my own personal ether? Nope. I have taken two showers today - I'm getting hot just sitting here at my desk surrounded by open windows. I have fears for my sanity once Summer kicks in for good. No sleep isn't helping things - one thing about being away for three weeks, one gets used to sleeping on one's own. Now I have to try and adjust to someone who goes to bed later than me, takes up more room than me, and - last night anyway - throws more half-asleep tanties than me.

The third time that the sheet was kicked off my legs last night I headed for the oasis - the SPARE ROOM. Fitting under a mosquito net is always easier on your own. But still - my bitecount is up due to the first half of the night and I have restrained myself from going and passing out for a few hours in the hope that after dinner I will fall into a nine hour dreamless slumber. (Unlike last night when in my dream I looked in the mirror and the bits of my eyeballs nearest to my nose were gone - they kind of looked gouged, although they didn't hurt, they just felt dry. Actually, it was quite hideous - after that I was glad to wake up. Ick.)

Home & Hosed

I made it home on Friday all in one piece, despite carrying my little suitcase, bag with wheels and one of those large stripey (read 'very unattractive') bags with my printer in it. I staggered from station to Skybus to plane to station to station to station and finally found M, looking much browner, waiting for me with a big hug and an equally large...watermelon. What he's done to the bathroom in my absence totally blows me away - it looks like it's straight out of a magazine - expecially considering what it looked like to start with. I have spent at least half an hour just sitting in there because it's so beautiful - the shower is cold, but up here, that doesn't matter much.

I commanded M that we take Saturday off and go for and exploring drive in the van; we took in Torbanlea (where the local church ladies regaled us with the wonders that had been for sale at their stall 'if only you'd got here earlier' - they'd begun at 5am...hello??!) and then went on a tour of 'Brooklyn' - a amazing old queenlander in Howard. Seeing all the work they'd had to do made me feel slightly better about all the sanding, painting and gardening I'm yet to so. Kind of. Over scones we chatted to a couple who took the tour with us - they were from Newcastle, and M outdid himself by almost losing all his hard-won relationship points (bathroom) by asking me whether it was me he'd visited Newcastle with, because 'it might have been my previous girlfriend'. Yeah. Right. Deduct 32 points. We then drove as far as Burrum and ate bread and guacamole while looking at this view.

So after such a lovely day, today I have gone back to work, painting my doors, helping M make a dining table (which will hopefully be ready in time for the onslaught of relatives in [gulp] just over a week. Not that we don't have a guest in the spare room at the moment - we do, but I won't post a picture of it here because my brother (a certified arachnaphobe) would never visit me. Think frisbee.

Rain, Cold & Trivia

Poor M, all alone in Queensland. Apparently the largest spider in known history is currently residing over the loungeroom doorway.
"Bigger than a frisbee!" gasps M down the phone, "and then there was this greasy black stubby venomous looking one in the letterbox that tried to eat me and then ran away."
I'm not sure how you can look venomous, but Monday's hangover would have brought me pretty near. Luckily I was able to exit work at lunchtime and kick back in bed with toast, tea and Harry Potter. I have been borrowing books from each lot of people that I've been staying with, and thus far they are:

I am totally absorbed by the Harry Potter ones - I'd only read the first two so far, so I'm furthering my education. (Not that my education was much use to me last night - we went to a pub trivia night and, despite having lots of fun (and Stella Artois) lost fairly convincingly).

The other thing about the last two places I've stayed in are the bits of my life that hang around in friends houses. And I'm not talking about paintings I've done for them, or photos I've sent; I mean the stuff that gets spread among people that you used to live in share houses with. At Ellises I did a double take at a few old bowls from my parents dinner set circa 1981. Then at Chris's I stumbled over Saint Overboard! by Leslie Charteris that can seriously only be mine - I collect those books! Not to mention a lipstick, face powder and half a drumkit. It all makes me feel like I haven't totally disappeared out of peoples lives, despite the geographical location of my current abode.

Bye Bye 1st Houseguests

I have discovered that a thing called a 'jet venturi' is what has been holding up my cleanliness. It sounds like a race of martians ('Shhh, quiet! The Jet Venturi are on the march and can pick up the scent of human sweat at a range of three kilometres!'), however it's actually a very necessary part of our water pump that has been missing. So now that this has been discovered, hopefully we will get our pump back tomorrow, and our one tap will have some pressure! M and I are feeling rather bereft, as our friends have deserted us for their own home back in Melbourne. We drove Dave to the bus yesterday in Noosa (and decided to take in the sights while we did so) - David treated us to a very awesome fish and chip lunch and then ice-creams; M and I felt like we were on a grand day out with our favourite uncle!

We waved a sad goodbye. David was very worried about who was going to sit next to him on the bus and the plane as he was (he volunteered this information, I did not choose to query him on it) rather aromatic after having a total of no showers in the two weeks he was here. We did swim a lot, so I suppose that counted for something. We drove home via the very pretty town of Pomona. Naturally had to top off a lovely day with a huge fight which left me storming through the streets where we live and M driving off to fume at the waters edge. Ah. It's those kind of nights that you thank goodness you've moved into a house with a nicely appointed a spare bedroom. It makes for better reconciliations the next morning when you've both had a good nights sleep. When one person has had to slum it on the couch, I'm sure things don't run nearly so smoothly.

Today was veg out day before getting stuck into renovating and doing all the work I haven't been getting done in the last two weeks of general frivolity. We went back to our favourite beach, had a drink at the pub and then went to visit M's mum, who we haven't seen much of lately. About ten years ago she was a very keen caravanner and camper, who drove all over Australia with a little boat on the roof and a little four wheel drive on a trailer behind. Anyway, now at the age of 82, decent blokes are bit scarce, so when she saw an old bloke driving down the main street of Hervey Bay towing a well travelled looking caravan, she gave immediate chase. Hee hee. She didn't catch him - don't know whether that's good or bad.

Lost at the Beach

Boys went out early and got yabbies to use for bait, in what was going to be their fishing for whiting extravaganza. They came back home to pick me up and we decided to swim first at the best beach (notice how I never mention it by name) and then fish later. But the beach was too nice to leave, so the guys decided to try their luck there. David was very persistent, and his bait was also very persistent in falling off/getting nibbled off the line.

Then we jumped under the outdoor shower and headed to the pub, which thoughtfully gave us all coolers with our stubbies of Vic. and sat in the sun. It was all almost too good. A lovely day to finish the visit. Noosa tomorrow.

Me Vs. Fraser

I look at Fraser Island every time I turn into our street, but I had no idea (despite being told repeatedly) how much I was missing out on! Dave and Ellise went over on Monday and hiked for 10km to Lake Mackenzie...we picked up the 4WD that they were kind enough to hire and pick them up the next morning. This is the lake:

After seeing the lake and wading out into it, I didn't really want to continue four wheel driving, because I was not convinced that we would see anything to match it! I haven't, thus far, made a habit out of hanging out on tropical islands, but this is all due to change. We took the 4WD along the beach toward Eli Creek, which was pretty much equally astonishing, and on the way we saw the clearest rainforest stream that I have ever seen. In fact, I thought is was all silty, until I realised that I was seeing the bottom of it, not the actual water in it, which is pretty much invisible. Walking through the forest was rather humbling - the trees are sooooo big. They did, of course, log Fraser Island until it was turned into a World Heritage Site in 1992. Thank goodness.

Out house, to our shame (and secret, illicit pride) was built from Fraser Island Boxbrush and Satinay timbers, which are hardwood. They are so hard, that M cannot hammer a nail into the outside of the house, he has to pre-drill the hole, which lead us to wonder how the hell they built it in the first place, considering that power tools hadn't been invented. We learnt that they built old Queenslander houses using the wood when it was still green and soft enough to hammer in the nails. Then the wood dries and hardens and.... thank goodness for power tools!

To Market To Market

Despite the amount of beer that we drank yesterday in support of Collingwood, they did not emerge triumphant. It was a welcome surprise to find quite a few supporters in the pub, so we weren't lynched when we cheered the occasional goal. Right at the moment we've all returned from the market, the boys are playing with M's power tools, Ellise is baking a banana cake in the camp oven and I have just planted a few more things in the cat home - and can up my bitecount for my trouble. Fraser Island is currently house-guest destination of choice, so tomorrow they will be dropped at the barge and we will meet them over there on Tuesday for some four wheel driving. Finally I get to go to Fraser Island! Huzzah! (Instead of just looking at it longingly every time I turn into my street.)

Market Score:
3 tomato plants - $5
2 capsicum + 1 chive - $5
2 flowery odd bods - $2
1 hammer - $3
1 screwdriver with wooden handle - 50c
2 A3 sized framed water colours - $2

She Swims By Sea

I swim. I have swum. Today I went to Toogoom and, as I did at this time last year, pranced about in the shallows sticking my toes in like a total pussycat. Everyone else was in - but it took me a good ten minutes to ease myself over my knees...then I just waited until I felt the urge to dive - and dive I did! Beautiful water! Satin and salty, with a tugging tide. I stayed in for a good 45 minutes and then ran on to the beach and up to the freshwater shower to douse off the salt. Topped it off by a beer in the Humber on the way home...I felt very good about living nearby - I can go there almost whenever I want!

We are anxious to find out where the best place to watch the Grand Final tomorrow. It's the one AFL game that I make a big effort to watch every year - mostly I get some special sausages from Vic. Market and either cook them up at home or take them to a bbq. Last year we went to someone's place where they were house sitting and got so inspired by the game that we went and played footy straight afterwards in the park and I almost broke my nose via a well placed Sherrin. No matter. Tomorrow I am a Victorian supporting the Pies in honour of my friend Jock - I definitely have not been here long enough barrick for Brisbane. So...we'll probably be lynched if we go to a pub to watch the match, but one would think that there enough refugees from the Melbourne weather up here to keep us safe. I'll keep you posted!

Aloha Brisbane Au Revoir

With no offence meant to any house-guests current or future, I am never driving to Brisbane to pick anyone up ever again. I will possibly even considering subsidising part of the train fare to Hervey Bay. We set out on Friday afternoon at about 3:30pm after a one of the classic pre-long car trip arguments (which always make for that great strained atmosphere for the first 200km *sigh*). After the first 200km we were forced to truce as we became entangled in the kind of traffic jam that I would assume has many people pulling out large chunks of hair. I was certainly pulling out mine - there were apparently brushfires along the Bruce Highway and that meant that about 20km worth of traffic had to crawl along at a snails pace for two and a half hours and be diverted by police down weird little roads for 23km until we could snake around back on to the highway.

There were quite a lot of cars who had overheated and/or run out of petrol and had to pull off the road. I was getting quite worried about the Humber, as its temperature gauge was on 'Hot' - but of course it didn't have a problem at all. M used a bag full of pistachio shells as percussion an we sang and seethed in equal amounts.

Finally we made it to Brisbane and located the hotel - Ellise and Dave had just about given us up for dead and handed us a beer each and kindly let me rant for about ten minutes before dragging us out to get some food. The next day I had my opinion of Brisbane changed by walking and ferrying our way from Kangaroo Point to Southbank and the Westend and the Botannical Gardens. It was all so pretty and not at all crowded - it was quite extraordinary! On our walk along the river we saw a rock climbing club having an open day encouraging people to have a go at climbing the cliffs - of course M had to have a go... and went up the cliff at a rate that made me wonder if he was trying to escape me?

Later on (after gazing in wonder at the fake beach and everyone on it) we went to a wondrous cafe called the Three Monkeys and had coffees (I had hot malt milk - yum) and shared a slab of cake. We bought some supplies for a kickass curry and then made our way back to the hotel via a few ferries and the botannical garden.... here is the view from my room....

We headed home to Hervey Bay yesterday - it was a long hot drive and made it back just before dark. The cats were happy to see me! We introduced our first ever guests to the new couch and then Ellise and I sent the boys to the bottle shop while she cooked and I pretended to help. Here's a pic of my study as it looks at present;

I am supposed to be working at the moment, so I will now disappear into the ether before anyone here realises that they could all be swimming instead of 'letting me get my work done'. Oh the guilt.

Lazy Susan

I have just been given a Lazy Susan - one of those things that you seem to find most often in cheap Chinese restaurants - they sit in the middle of the table and spin so everyone gets a fair grab for the soy sauce. Hmm. Is this a turning point in my life? Is it a similar acheivement to finally getting a car that boasts intermittent wipers? Ah, it's all irrelevent - I don't actually have a table to put it on.

Actually Am Still Alive

There have been rumours of my demise, which I am happy to quash. I am inhabiting planet Earth - just in a state heightened by turpentine fumes. It is 28 degrees up here today - the weather is amazing, but it is scaring me because it is only just Spring! Imagine what Summer is going to be like! *grimace* May have to lease out house to holidayers and escape down south. Just a thought. Am still painting skirting boards, though M has taken over the bulk of them, probably because of his opinion of my painting skills (yeah, so I painted a roomfull of skirting boards blue, forgetting that a few of them actually needed to be cream...banana cream to be exact). D'oh.

Met one of the neighbours earlier. One of the couple who's main occupation seems to be screaming at their five kids. Not to mention their dog, which killed their pig....and a chicken.... etc. The woman seems quite nice, it's just the man that I could happily kneecap, but am having more practical fantasies (as I don't think I have the means or the method to kneecap someone) such as recording him screaming vile abuse and sending it to relevant authorities...or to something crap like A Current Affair (who would probably leap at it drooling).

The other thing is - I am being submerged by spam. I didn't check my email for six days (which is some kind of record) and I had at least 350 spam mails begging me to; buy prescription medication online, enjoy the benefits of Viagra, give up my day job, develop a larger penis, get a better mortgage...etc. I put it down to having my email address on the bloody Crime Factory site. I think, that after five years or so, I am actually going to have to change my email address and just confess myself beaten :o( I use Mailwasher religiously, but it's beginning to take up too much time, going through all my email and deleting the spam stuff. Woe is moi.

Seabiscuit

I am baffled by coincidence. When I was in the US in 2000 I read a long article about the famouse racehorse Seabiscuit. I decided I loved the name Seabiscuit and it was then that I embarked on my grand campaign to convince M that it would be a good name for Boat. It was not until last night when I started watching Chinatown on video for the first time that I saw the name again; it's when Jack Nicholson is reading the paper and Seabiscuit's name is in the headline. So that was weird. Then (not having made it through the whole movie as I was tired and had had to stop to watch Spooks) I went to bed and was reading August 2003 Vanity Fair. I was only a quarter of the way through it and there was a big ad for a new movie, captioned 'a long shot becomes a legend' Seabiscuit. So that's when my brain short-circuited on coincidence and began to fry. One sighting of it three years ago and then twice on the same day. Is someone trying to tell me something?

The other huge-o coincidence that I don't remember if I've recorded here was when this page got cyber-jacked and instead of loading my daily scribbles, it started loading the page of a Melbourne granite company. So that was strange, but not too strange. That was until I looked up the tech support contact for the domain name that was loading up under miaowthecat.com and it was Murray Dancey. A guy I'd been to primary and high school with. Out of the whole of the internet. What is the proability of that? Zero to a billion? So we caught up on each others lives, he fixed the problem and maybe we will cross paths again sometime... somewhere, in a universe far far away....

Claire Cinematica Pt.1

Claire and I shook up the Nova last night for a long overdue upgrading of my cultural consciousness. We hit Trotters for our usual feasting frenzy and then went and saw Morvern Callar, which I reckon was pretty good. It could have actually continued a little bit longer than it did, but it was... oh, I don't know. Claire is the Cinema Queen, I'm not good at describing movies, I work better with books. Speaking of books, we both bought a book each from the awesome book place near the Nova box office - not Borders, but the one that's been there forever. Claire bought one that was relevant to her academic pursuits (i.e I can't remember what it was called) and I got Script Girls, which I'm sure Lisa and Christine will want to borrow - there's a copy left and it's only $10 (reduced from $45 - ooh!). It discusses and documents female (mainly Hollywood) scriptwriters from around the 1930s to today...I'm keen! But I'm still plowing my way through my Elizabeth George - my train rides every day are helping me do lots of reading! I'm just worried about fitting anything more into my suitcase!

Taxtic

I had three years of tax done back in February when I had to make my money look pretty for the bank and today I got it done again for the 2003 financial year. I would be more self-congratulatory about my wondrous financial organisation and administrative skills, but really I only did it in the hope of getting a decent tax return. So my motives weren't altogether pure. I also wanted to know if *sob* I could claim a new computer on tax. Apparently if I buy a $2000 computer I can claim it back over the next two years (most people claim it back over three years, but 'my accountant' tells me that my geek cred is high enough to claim it back quicker). So that's cool...sort of. I'm not one of those people that gets kicks buying stuff to claim back on tax...it's too long to wait!

Last night I had a bizarre phone call - my friend Hugh called up my mum to try and track me down. So odd. Haven't seen Hugh for about five years and he just happens to call up while I'm actually staying at my parents place for about the first time in a million years. Apparently he's been feeling like getting in touch with old friends since Tim Hemensley's death about two weeks ago. So we're going to catch up before I go - he's obviously learned a lot from me - he's playing bass and singing - got himself a band ;o) I always have to hassle Hugh, as he is a poet, so I made sure to ask him 'Do you really sing, or do you just play bass and quote at length?' He had a lovely rejoinder which entailed him telling me who was in his band. It turns out it's the Dirty Three. That shut Beth up fairly conclusively. (I will hencefoth always try to castigate myself in the third person, it's much more effective, I feel.)

Anyway, I googled and found one of Hugh's poems written for the Dirty Three's album Horse Stories...

Do Do Do Run Run

Locked myself out of my office and am killing time in the student lounge place that I have always wondered about. I am due at a conference in about ten minutes and as I turned up first last time, I didn't want to repeat the performance. I am looking forward to it - they have awesome food! Last night was my first free night since my arrival in Melbourne - it was great - I was at a loss at what to do with myself, so I turned off my phone, hunted down my mums bottle of duty free gin, made a gin lime and tonic, fixed her bloody printer and then read my book. No stamina - had to find my bed before ten o'clock! The shame, the shame.

Got up in the morning to be greeted by my mother who looks like a classic domestic violence case. She is the second person I know who has actually and truly walked into a door and given themselves a puffy eye. She looks like I drank too much gin and beat her up - yike! The other person who did this to themselves while living with me was Christine - her black eye was singularly impressive, I seem to remember her being fairly ambivalent at the time, as the pain of her eye was eclipsed by the pain of her hangover. My only black eye was from being kicked in the head at a Rancid gig and not noticing til the morning. D'oh. I must have been blonde at the time.

I response to Hippo's comment about my music rant, I will make another music reference (oh, no btw, haven't heard the Mogwai album - I'm assuming you recommend it?) I had a long talk with the excellent Chris Ioannides who does Bone Machine on PBS (actually we both used to share Bone Machine duties, a long while back) and he was pretty keen on Love of Diagrams, who are playing around Melbourne at the moment. I'm going to try and catch them if they're playing anywhere before I head north again. I also probably bent his ear for far too long about my urge to firebomb PBS, or at least the station manager - and felt quite purged as a result ;o)
Goddamn it's cold today - this weather is killing me!

Evasion

All the leaves are brown (...all the leaves are brown...)
And the sky is grey (...all the leaves are brown...)
I went for a walk (...all the leaves are brown...)

Tee hee. I can't find the reference online, but I've seen this show on late at night a few times - it could very well have been Smack The Pony, but they had this woman recording California Dreaming, and instead of echoing the different lines, her backing singers just kept singing '...All the leaves are brown'. I am easily amused. Actually, it's quite pathetic, but I was sitting here quietly crying laffing and laffing because I went and read more of what has to be one of my favourite sites... the wonderful Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About. I had to print it out and send it to M in the hope it would make him giggle after punching so many nails into the floor. I don't know why I cry when I laugh and laugh. It's odd.

The last time it happened was when M rang to tell me of his latest method of circumventing his mothers cooking. She had apparently crumbed him some fish that she'd defrosted and whacked back in the fridge overnight. Anyone who knows M will be familiar with his pathological observation of use-by dates and his fear of *gasp* frozen food. So here was this fish, that embraced both phobias with a kind of breathless ease and his mum left it on the kitchen bench for him with instructions that he was to cook it up for his dinner as she had to go out to a meeting (she's 82 - and seems to swing from near death to frighteningly efficient in the space of a few days).

Anyway, M told me that he heated up the pan with some butter and garlic and (probably wearing gloves) placed a bite-sized portion of fish in to cook. I am such an idiot that I thought he was going to say that he was going to try a little bit of it before cooking the lot to see if it was OK. Oh, sometimes I am dazzled by my own inanity. No - the bite-sized piece was the key to M's elaborate subterfuge, with which he created the aroma of cooked fish. He then half rinsed the pan and put it in the sink (for added legitimacy) and then sneaked outside to the bin with all the fish wrapped up in a bag. But it was not to be...headlights swept the driveway as he crept toward the bin, and....actually, sorry. That bit's a lie. He got to the bin, but it was empty, and M knew, that despite being short and 18 years away from a century old, his mother would see what he had done. So he had to hide the fish in the back of his van until the next day when (thankfully he remembered) he removed it and fed it to the two cats.

The final question remains; so what did he have for dinner?
A salad sandwich.

Country Roads....

Am sitting wrapped in a doona in the lougeroom at my dad's in South Gippsland. Oh, oh, OH! It is SO cold. This is despite some port, a large dinner and a woodburning heater! Well - it's not so cold in here. Dad has a thermometer that tells you what it is both inside and out: inside it's about 16 degrees (the other end of the room from the fire) and outside it's a pleasant SIX degrees. Yike! Got back around 6pm from a long drive which took in the delights of Meeniyan, Fish Creek and Mirboo North (the great attraction of Mirboo being the tantalising Grand Ridge Brewery - previously mentioned here). We then consumed an excellent meal of 'Chicken Proudley' complimented by my excellent rice and my sisters excellent vegetables, topped off with ruhbarb and ice-cream. Am subsequently feeling rather round.

Had an AWESOME time last night at Festival Hall where Ellise and I saw Spearhead. They were amazing! It was an exciting way to remember one of the things about Melbourne that I like - good bands!! My brother is quite smug that he fell prey to the charm of Michael Franti a good while before I did...huh....these younger brothers...they've got to feel like they did something first.

I've been out of mobile phone range most of today, though an SMS from M did manage to slip through in which he crowed delightedly that the roosters on either side of our house appear to have dissolved into the ether. My fingers are crossed. Being back in the office is as wildly stimulating as it had always promised to be. The delights of the dryest possible fake-air environment with a non-existent view of the outside world have thrilled me since arrival. As did the email from Someone guilt-tripping me for my lack of email contact over the past two or three weeks. What can I say? Guilt rarely prompts me to respond effusively...if I don't write, guess what? I don't write!

Just because I blog, doesn't mean I'm not BUSY. The conference I'm down for is for two days next week, followed by three nights of band practice, followed by the gig! I will heave a SIGH of relief when I've waded (hopefully with a measure of success) through all of that. I'm also going to try and get to some Melbourne Writers Festival sessions - there's quite a sprinkling of interesting crime fiction stuff. Spoke to D who has set me up to interview a US author, so I have to crank my way through a couple of her books in the next two weeks...wonder if I'll ever make it back north!?

Free Association

...and while I'm at it, I'll try another weekly thingy....

1. Hook:: Crook
2. Greg:: Brady
3. Sixty:: Minutes
4. Breakfast:: Lunch
5. Dollar:: Cents
6. Unpredictable: Messy
7. O:: P
8. Bathing suit:: Fluorescent lights, ugh
9. Inconsiderate:: Selfish
10. Marx::Karl

From here

A Friend In Need

It was such relief yesterday to know that I had someone who wouldn't mind at all when I arrived after a hell journey, let myself into their flat, and jumped into their bath. Bliss. Ellise is my heroine - she bought mueseli for me to eat, loose tea leaves and a special block of brie....how could you find a better freckly friend?

Yesterday went as follows;

Wake at 3am - too early.

Drift in and out of sleep til 4am - still too early.

Alarm goes off at 4:30am. B jumps out of bed and gets dressed in the loo so as not to disturb M too much and is more than commonly startled when M's mother appears out of the blackness shrieking 'It's a quarter to five! You're late! You're late!' Half naked, yet curiously calm, B explains that it's actually half past four. M pulls himself from bed and gets dressed. Usually in situations such as this one he screams around trying not to run late, sighing and tapping his foot as B looks for socks, lipstick etcetera. Not this time. B realises M has chosen path of non-involvement. She is both resentful and thankful.

Bus station - 5:05am. The driver asks B for her train ticket. B looks blank. The driver realises B is one slice short of a loaf and instructs her to call train booking office. M is looking patently unconcerned. B is hyperventilating. Train booking office is closed til 6am. Driver tells B that all he can do is take her to Maryborough station and she can hope there's a seat free. What else is there to do? Driver adds that B's suitcase is way too heavy. B dwells on Ford Prefects observation that humans are in the habit of stating the bleeding obvious, kisses M goodbye and departs on bus, praying they're will be a free seat on train.

Get to Maryborough West 20 minutes later. No mobile coverage. No change for phone. Nice station man calls booking office. Listen to hold music. Nice lady books poor B a seat on train to Brisbane. Relief. Train arrives, B gets on and is entranced by train-cam: a camera attached to the inside of the drivers compartment (you can tell it's the inside, because occasionally you see a windscreen wiper sweep a bug off the windscreen) which not only shows what you're going to see out of your window in two seconds time, it also tells you how fast the train is travelling, what the next station is and how many kilometres until you get to it. Just as B is getting tired of train-cam they put on Johnny English - the Rowan Atkinson/Natalie Imbruglia vehicle, which is, for the most part, largely crap, however for anyone on the train not wearing headphones it must have been quite odd being surrounded by a carriage full of people all laughing in unision ever fifteen minutes or so.

Arrive in Brisbane at 9:30am - it's incredibly civilised. From the same station (switching now to first person) I am able to get another train straight out to the airport for $7.50. I am wildly impressed.

Kill two hours at airport with food, book and laptop. Get on plane at 1pm. I fly the plane with every fibre of my being all the way to Melbourne, where I land it with the power of my gritted teeth and clenched buttocks. Flying is not something I wholly enjoy.

Take one look at the remarkably blue sky and realise that my father is definitely going to be sailing and won't be there to pick me up. Miss first Skybus while looking to see where VirginBlue have hidden my guitar. Get second Skybus into Spencer Street, which is where I begin falling toward hell. My suitcase (to state the obvious) is too heavy, and as well as this, has been designed for a midget - its handle that you grip in order to make it roll along is too low, and so I have to angle myself in a strange hunched manner, with my laptop on my back and my guitar in the other hand. It's torture. I can only do twenty steps at a time before I have to stop and reorganise myself. Miraculously I finally make up to platform thirteen (naturally, it's up a huge incline and is the furthest away - why doesn't Spencer Street Station have LIFTS???!) and wait five minutes for a Sandringham train.

Get an SMS from M - am 50 metres off Fraser Island and just caught huge salmon. Hot. Sad. Because he put the work 'sad' in, I do not throw my phone against the cold, clinical train wall.

I get off at Windsor, where journey goes from fairly vile, to insupportable. By the time I've made it up the ramp with satan-suitcase I am totally depleted. I call a taxi. I get put on hold. I hang up. I start walking/staggering the two blocks to Ellise & Dave's flat. I can't do it. I finally see a taxi - I am so thankful that I give the guy ten bucks to take me a block and a half. Please god, let Ellise have remembered to leave the key out. She has. I fall into her flat, look in the mirror in her bathroom and see a country hick who has been sanding, painting, plastering and bucket-flushing for the past month and a half...I run to the phone and call my hairdresser.....she's out of town.

Twenty minutes later I am at an Indian restaurant with father and sister, Noel and mother. My mother states; 'So you're not going to stay with me at all?' in a vaguely accusatory manner. I explain that I'll be staying with friends/sister that live closer to the city. 'Well,' she says, 'I want you to come over while you're down here, because I need you to fix my printer.'

Ah, my mother - truly she has the tact of a free-falling house brick. After dinner is over I get dropped back to Ellise's oasis and can't help myself. I dive into her bath. Sonic the cat gets her paws wet playing with my toes. I get out, put the kettle on and Ellise gets home - it's lovely to see her! We talk 'til eleven and then I reject her for my mattress on the floor. Sleep is my new friend.

Not Dead, Still Painting

It is an ungodly early hour and I have feigned sleep so that M, who has woken up way too early and decided to up the ante in the DIY stakes, has set his jaw and headed to the paint shop alone. As the van pulled out I jumped into my clothes, plugged in my poor laptop and got my email/blog fix. I think it's just begun to hit home that I am leaving on Wednesday and he will be deprived of his partner in crime. I politely suggested a few days back that it would be perfectly fine to put me on the train to Brisbane from Maryborough, and that I'd be able to find my way from the station in Brisbane to the airport with my suitcase, laptop and guitar hanging off different bodily outcrops. For gods sake, I was just being polite! My intention, of course, was to have M say, 'No way, I'll drive the three and half hours into Brisbane and deposit you at the airport like a little piece of featherdown...you shan't face it alone.' But what he actually said was, 'OK, that's fine, that will make it heaps easier.' Easier. For who?

Oh well, he is going to have to tackle the house while I'm toasting my toes in front of somebody's heater in Melbourne. I got the new Bidston Moss and [bilby] cds in the mail last Thursday. My plan was to post a picture of me holding them jubilantly, however as I wasn't able to do the final proof of them (having stupidly relocated) I found about four mistakes in total and instead wanted to impale myself on them and leak slowly to death. Maybe a slight over-reaction, but I was very frustrated and sad. I'm getting over it now - I'm hoping that they are only things the person who designed them will angst over. They might make it on to this page after all.

It is annoying me greatly that my page has got fat and I don't have time to fix it!! Grrrr. Rowr.

One I Prepared Earlier

This is where I was at about 4pm today - studiously avoiding all the work I'm supposed to be doing by means of a hot chocolate and a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich.

And last night, a new bug friend, discovered sitting on the ceiling centimetres from my paintbrush. So pretty.

Flying Down to Rio

I am steadfastly ignoring the fact that I am harbouring a criminal (in the form of my laptop). Why I didn't think a bit quicker and just say that it blew up and I sold it to an unknown person at a garage sale is beyond me. I have been kicking myself up and down the street as penance for my idiocy. Grrr.

It looks like I'll be flying down to Melbourne in August for a work conference and the Bidston Moss cd launch (BM page is currently AWOL as I didn't re-register it straightaway and now they are holding it for $100 ransom - they call it a 'redemption period' and they can kiss my arse. I'll wait the 30 days 'redemption' and then get it for the usual $10 US - I'm sure the rest of the world is really going to be clamouring to register bidstonmoss.com..not.) M established that getting the boat and bringing it to Queensland is not a financial option at this stage, so it will stay sad and sorry in Williamstown in it's little storage place :o( Thus there is no reason for us both to drive down and blow about $600 on petrol (round trip). So all my records, the wheelbarrow, coffee table, clothes etc will have to find a home (that means "Hello Dad, can my stuff stay with you?"

So now I'm browsing the flights that are available - and of course at such short notice there are no Virgin mid-week cheapies available, and as usual, Qantas turn out to be better value. Humph. If anyone wants to offer me a bed while I'm in Melbourne, feel free...Christine has offered (after some blatant suggestion by moi), but I'm sure she'll get sick of me after a while. It is a shame M can't come, both in general and also because now Bidston Moss have to find a mixer. My brain hurts.

Last night I attended one of the most bizarre gatherings of my life! I went to the first meeting of the local residents association. I went out of morbid curiousity and also to see if there were any cool people living nearby. It was so extraordinary! I was the youngest person there by at least 15 years, except for an eight-year-old that a couple brought along - they left when the yelling started. I am usually so bad at doing anything like this, I hate scary new people - but I just decided to check it out. I didn't want it to be like my last house, where we just got to know our neighbours just before we left and it was a shame. So I went in to the Booral Fire Station and sat down with about 30 other people; there were about six men outside the door who stayed there and muttered amongst themselves for the majority of the meeting. One guy called another guy 'a mug' and I was instantly transported into 1950's film noir, and then the newly voted president brought everyone to order, and I was snapped back to primary school. I was agog. I may have mentioned my love for the series on the ABC, Grassroots? Well last night, I lived it.

I even stuck my oar in during the first five minutes of the meeting. I was sitting next to some weird eccentric man (the place was full of them, most of them with hearing impairments) and the bloke who was running the meeting suggested that everyone who wanted the group to be called the Booral Enterprise Association should raise their hand. As no one had been given any other option, most people raised their hands, but the guy next me (of course) made the first interjection of the evening (there were to be many). He said that he didn't like the word 'enterprise' and it sounded like a business. There was awestruck silence. The bloke who was running things was obviously pretty peeved, but at the same time was saying stuff like,
"OK brother [?!] that's what we're here for, we welcome any discussion...but buddy [!?] I just wonder whether you appreciate the actual definition of the word 'enterprise'?"
Eccentric Man: "Well, no I don't know the exact definition, but I'm just telling you how it appears to me...that's the purpose of the meeting isn't it? To exchange opinions?"
Bloke Who Is Running Things: "Look buddy, the work enterprise is defined as 'willingness to undertake new ventures; initiative'.
SuperBeth (arking up from the back of the room): "The definition is irrelevent, what matters is how people percieve the word."
Gulps. Loudly. Everyone and their dog turns around to see me looking pinkly mutinous. T
The name was changed to the Booral Community Association.
(If there is one thing I have learned to hate in my current job, it's wankers talking in complicated prose not because it communicates a message, but merely because it sounds good. And then acting surprised when people don't understand what they're on about.)
So then I got voted secretary. I have the Fear.

Yawny

Met my friend Lorraine and her husband for a hot chocolate today! The first person I've met up with here who isn't a relative of M's. Huzzah!! It was great to see a familiar face - though it does sound like I'm cranking out the cliches. They were just passing through Hervey Bay on their way up to Hinchinbrook...half their luck!

Still more paint dramas, but to temper my whinging, here is a paint success....

Thanks for the Fish

I have to admit a deeper and more compassionate understanding of men and their obsession with Power Tools. I hate sanding, but I can imagine how much more I would hate it without a sander!! Hideous! This new understanding of mine also leads me to extend my appreciation of power tools to the next step: cordless power tools *drool*. Climbing up and down the ladder entangled in the sander extension cord is not my idea of fun. Can't wait to get all the walls done...it seems to all take forever. I am so patient...NOT. The cat-home has also stalled for the past few days as M has been elsewhere working on his mother's new granny flat. Yesterday he got back and proceeded to start work on the cat home and things spiralled downhill from there....

I have never been very good at taking orders, lets just put it that way, and I'm even less inclined to take orders when I've been left to my own self for the previous two days, working in my own manner. Anyway, several stormy hours were had...M finally summoned up some contrite feelings and apologised...and then apologised much more fulsomely by buying a six-pack of Coopers and driving down to the Spot.

I had not been to the Spot, but it is quite divine. There is only room for one car and we pulled into the Spot and were about eight metres from the water. Drank Coopers (which gave me my first proper Melbourne flash-back), watched the sunset and then a dolphin began to play opposite the van just about another ten metres out to sea! It was so pretty! All is now well - I rescued M from granny-flat work at lunchtime today and tomorrow morning we are sworn to complete the cat-home, because otherwise the cats will just become even more slothy than they are....

This is me holding up a pole for the cat-home...as long as I can read at the same time as whatever I'm doing I'm pretty much happy....

The Points System

Well, I'm sure most of you agree that male/female relationships are run on the points system. I had always suspected it, but about four years ago I read an article in Men's Health magazine that confirmed it (though I admit that the mention of Men's Health could bring my theory into question as it's such a hard hitting tome of truth). For those of you who have managed to overlook this, here's an example;

So - M scored mega-points with me - actually about 39 points to be exact, when he whisked me away on a 'date' on Saturday. After ascertaining with a fair degree of suspicion whether I was going to get wet, cold or both (the answer was no) I began to ponder where I was going to be taken. Usually if something like this happens (and it's not that often!) I have a sneaking suspicion that usually turns out to be correct, which does, I have to admit, detract from the surprise factor. Not this time! I got taken to a fancy lunch at what I think is the classiest and by far the most pretty restaurant in Hervey Bay. Oooh yeah!!

Bad Me

A very unproductive day. My MOST unproductive day since The Move. Poor M is painting the ceilings of all the rooms as I type (minus the bedsit and the 'spare room' which is packed to the brim with everything we own i.e my clothes, books and cds) and I, the most un-proactive girl in the world, am sitting on my butt with my laptop in front of the TV.

My day has been somewhat of a meltdown trying to get my work sorted, trying to figure out whether or not I can access the information I've got in my folders back at work, trying to wrap my head around all the stuff left to do on the weather project, trying to print out documents and having the printer die, trying to find a floppy disk among the boxes that are my life....you get the picture. M has worked all day. Has barely stopped, despite being hampered by a freaked out female returning to pre-Queensland stress levels. It's all been topped off by finding out that TripleJ has been trying to get hold of me, but I have no mobile coverage here (- don't know if I mentioned that Bidston Moss were selected in the top eight bands that were Unearthed by JJJ in Victoria out of about 1400 bands....glee!) and then an enigmatic message from a voice I didn't think I'd hear again. Victoria from the bank - whose voice gave me panic attacks for two solid months as the house fell in and out of possibility. I think I'm going to 'take to my bed' and sleep to the soothing sound of paint rollers. I have made a firm resolution to pull myself together tomorrow, get up early and fill all remaining holes and gaps in the walls.
:o(

Camping Is My Life

Yes, I have travelled 1878km or so to camp in a house that is twice the size of my old one ;o) Living in a bedsit situation is bearable, but the addition of two cats makes it even more..um...shall we say...interesting? They are being very good, and treat the window with the screen on it as Bird-TV - here they are on their first day:

I have also been informed that the educational establishment for which I work had not actually caught on to the fact that I've been working for them as a casual since October 2002. Apparently casual staff can work a total of four months fulltime and that's it, so I have been (unknowingly) on a good thing. The good thing expired yesterday when I was told to take July off, but my boss has kindly arranged for me to still do some work in July, and I will add those hours to my timesheet in August. So I don't really lose out, except that I won't see cash for a while, so at present I'm deciding whether to fall into the warm embrace of Centrelink, look for work, roast a cat or sit it out.

Here's the first view of our street the very first time we ever drove into it:

I notice I haven't posted any pics of the house yet. Let it be known that it's probably too scary for public viewing. We have ripped out the whole kitchen and bathroom, and have been busy filling nail/screw holes and sanding, sanding, sanding. Anyone who happened to pop in yesterday would have been quite amused at the sight of M and I trying to get the old cast iron bath out of the bathroom (it took up about one third of the room). It was waaaay too heavy to lift, so we angled it on to a blanket and he pushed, I pulled, until we got it to the top of the back steps. One good thing about this place is that we have little respect for the bits of it that we're going to remove at a later date i.e the back steps. So we pushed the bath down them, they buckled, held, and then the bath came to rest on the ground. We've propped it up against the water tank for the moment - the plan being that we're going to build it into our deck later on. It will be sunken so that the deck goes over the top of it, but then if you want to have a bath you pull up the section of the deck that covers it and jump in. Tres decadent.

Speaking of the water tank. We'd organised to have it cleaned, but the guys couldn't do it for a week and a half and it was going to cost $210. We booked in, but decided in the end that we needed the money more so M said he would cancel it and we'd do it another time. The water in the tank is OK for washing dishes etc, but because it's been sitting there so long and for some of that time didn't have the mesh guard on the top where the water goes in, we thought we better have it cleaned before we attempted to drink it. So, after a hard day of sanding yesterday I woke up this moring and was dwelling on the difficulty of all things financial, and something occurred to me.
'Did you cancel the tank cleaning guys?'
M went pale.
'!#@$#^@$^%$!'
Ten minutes later we were moving our cars so the truck could get to the tank and two hours later we were down $260 because we had to get a new filter for the top of the tank. Life wasn't meant to be easy - at least the weathers good!

Material Girl

Ugh. All I did at lunchtime was wander the shops and muse on thing after thing. I am obsessive. Last week it was finding the perfect diary (quickly gave up after wasting one lunchbreak - 2003 ones don't exist anymore), today I ummmed and ahhed over which 'Thank-you' cards to buy to send to all the people who helped me with the house drama. Then I stumbled over black-cat hot water bottle covers, then I went to the bank machine and couldn't get my card to fit back in my purse. So then I perused all the purses in Myer and David Jones....yes, I think my lunchbreak went for a little longer than my designated hour *sigh*

The gig at the Tote on Saturday night actually went a lot better than I thought. My mum came alone, much to my horror, so I had to make the band play Galore for her, as it's our only real soft song. She called last night and said 'I really liked that asian sounding one you played' !!?? I also met up with the man behind the null device who I remembered seeing at one of our other shows ages back...it was so bizarre, it turns out that he works on the same floor as me in the next building! We probably get in the same lift every day! We're going to meet up to swap cds sometime this week - he did a live recording of the gig that actually didn't leave me gagging (this will be startling news to someone in I-Oh-Wah). There are some pix of the gig on the null device which aren't too scary. It's pretty nice to have a record of the show actually...

Working From Home

M was too sick for me to go to work today, I took him to the third doctor. It was so dark inside the house that I got in the car and took all the reading that I have to do for work down to Williamstown and got more reading done in the car in the sun than I usually get done all day at work. I think I'm light deprived. I am not, however, deprived of seagull attention.

Soup

Recently I have been casing various cafes and food halls in search of soup. One would assume that the pursuit of soup is quite a simple thing. One would be wrong. Not only is it hard to find soup, it's even harder to find good soup. How can something so simple go so wrong? I have suffered the worst pumpkin soup I've ever imbibed* at Druids on Swanston Street, the second worst potato and leek soup at Stax Cafe nearby...the only halfway decent soup I have been able to find was at the Myer Food Hall!!
So this weekend, with no sleep and vomiting M (cause is either spider bite or flu? - either way, it's bad) I decided to make my own soup. Scary stuff. But someone did comment that I should include recipes on [m i a o w] - so here's one (but do not assume this is going to be a regular event...once I find a recipe that works, it's all I cook for the next two years. M still blanches when I suggest a hokkien noodle stir-fry.)

*I must thank my parents for instilling the need in me to 'clean my plate'. At age 30 I am still racked with guilt if I don't eat everything in front of me, even if it's orange, watery and tepid.

Brain-Flag

Ugh. Crud. Working as a researcher is no fun when you are completely blocked as to what the hell you should be writing. I am only allowed to blog because I just cleared 100 words (yes....that's all so far...and when I say 'allowed' I am referring to my awesome self imposed discipline...hee hee). Have brain flag due to this and also due to one of those nights where your sleep is thoroughly undermined by the person who shares your bed suddenly becoming convinced, at 4am, that you are a huge hungry spider about to pull out all his organs with your huge hairy fangs and goes into spasms, rendering you wide-eyed, alert and alarmed. After the spider incident I found sleep impossible (due to the vague feeling of just surviving an outbreak of major civil unrest) and ended up at work at 8am with great plans to produce vast tomes on...*sigh* weather and communication (will this project never end???)

Instead entertained self by emailing friends with excerpts from this page whilst rocking with silent giggles; and then emailing the street press about the upcoming Bidston Moss show at the Tote with Good Shirt on the 31st of May. It will be the last-show-before-Queensland, which is quite sad and odd. I also made A Nice Lie Down into mp3's last night and uploaded them this morning - you will notice Yabby Pie featuring as a tune. People keep asking me 'so is this the end of the band?' It is so not the end of the band. The gigs will just be wider apart, but I really hope to organise some Brisbane shows and stuff. Maybe we will turn into more of a recording outfit than a gigging one. Anyway - I'll be keeping an eagle eye on Virgin and Qantas specials!
Does anyone out there want to sell me a trailer with a cage? It seems that there are many trailers for sale without cages, but I not convinced that all my stuff will make it past Brisbane held on only by a tarp and a few occy straps.

It is currently noon and it is 12C degrees. I cannot even find the necessary adjectives to describe how cold it was this morning. Suffice to say that in the five or so months that he's been gone, this morning was the first time that I've wondered why I let my brother take my woolly coat to the UK.
It is currently 18C degrees in Brisbane (add one more degree for Hervey Bay - 19C) and it is for this seven degree difference that I am willing to traverse vast distances.

Lost Weekend

Last weekend kind of fell out of my life, even though I documented quite a bit of it with my camera. I had lunch with my mum (as the only one of her offspring currently in this state, it was my duty ;o) I also scored some splendid garage sale stuff. While we were out garage sale-ing we went and visited The Boat. Don't know that I've mentioned The Boat much here, basically it's the other woman in my life, M has been building The Boat for about the last three years. It's a Farrier Trimaran, and is becoming more and more beautiful the nearer it gets to completion. M hasn't been able to dote on it in his customary fashion of late due to real estate hell, so we go and say hello now and again.

It's a little bit depressing that Boat is stuck on land, but it is exciting to think that we'll be getting it up to Queensland and will have some of the best sailing in Australia right at our door step! I refer to Boat as Boat as a name cannot be agreed upon. We had decided on Velouria from the Pixies song of the same name, but everybody kept looking blank when we tried to explain *sigh* so now M is sticking with the Pixies theme and is barracking instead for SurfaRosa and I am going with my current favourite Seabiscuit (as I'm forbidden to make any play on the 'tri' theme, as in 'Tri-umphant' or 'Trillian').

Let's Play Catch-Up

Jeez - I haven't written since the weekend and just had Banjo Paterson in there propping me up. It's Thursday already - almost a week from my birthday and life is whizzing by in a big fat blur! What to tell? I'm almost afraid to report on the lack of house dramas so far this week (though they do now want proof that I actually own Telstra shares). My fingers and toes are crossed. Hard. Oh! I survived a visit to the dentist! The new dentist (as opposed to the old and savage one) comes courtesy of Claire (who doesn't blog anymore, so I can't link to her). This dentist is a wonder! I have progressively become the most pathetic dental patient it is possible to imagine - the sound of the drill makes me cling to the ceiling. But Maria (the wonder-dentist) is very soothing and she even fixed up what the old savage dentist did without hurting me once! This is not to say I was not poised for hurt every minute that I was on the chair, but after successfully convincing her that I needed enough anaesthetic to fell a horse, all was well. (Though I couldn't feel my left ear for a good four hours afterwards...but, no matter.)

I am finding it increasingly difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Actually leaving the house seems to be even harder! It seems that particularly when I'm going to ride my bike to work I become more and more hopeless. Yesterday morning I dithered around, washed my hair, ate some toast, took a call from Victoria (my home loan lady, who is very annoyed at me because whenever she calls I turn into a quaking heap of fear), kissed M goodbye, went to walk out through the back door and encountered a freshly (and silently) deposited mound of catsick.

Sleepy Saturday

What a night! Definitely the most excellent birthday party that I've had for a while! I decided not to worry about whether or not I managed to talk to everyone and instead gave up and meandered through the night... Here's a picture of my sister and I with Mr Money Bear (so named as he arrived in a box from my dad with some cash taped to his paw).

My new camera worked over time last night! M showed Super-8 films, there was an open bar for the last hour and then all the hardcore revellers came back to the caravan to continue their fun. Dylan gave me a DVD of the new Bidston Moss clip for 'Seven', which is (we estimate) about 65% complete. So I showed that to everybody, and people said it looked cool - though there was some flack about the boys not being in it....but it was shot just as an experiment with the idea being that if it turned out OK we could use it for a clip...anyway...

It was an awesome night...am now feeling floppy, but not really hungover :o)

Twenty-Something?

Tomorrow I am not a twenty-something anymore. I am THIRTY! Geez. If I'd been a true rock n' roller I would have been dead at 27. I never considered being any other age than one that started with the number 2!! But, like I said to my boss today, the only thing I can do about it is be hit by a bus before 2:55pm tomorrow...so I should just roll with it, buy some more pseudo anti-aging products and start looking indulgently at all those kids who think that age 29 is a one-way ticket to nowhere!! (Apparently women feel more comfortable with themselves after they've turned thirty...I'll say it again....thirty. So I have that to look forward to.) I have to admit that those of my friends who have turned thirty (most of them) haven't changed in any obviously horrifying way. So yeah. With the stress of this week trickling slowly from my veins as it is replaced by the soothing liquids of red wine and Coopers Sparkling Ale bought for me by my boss who was trying to console me...I'm not feeling half bad!!

There is nothing. I must repeat. Nothing that I can do to get this house sorted out that I haven't done in the past two days. M and I have got quotes from an electrician, two plumbers, and have arranged and co-ordinated a building inspection. He has put together an awesome quote for the work that needs to be done, I have braved the worst thing and man-handled my mother down to St Kilda Police Station (the blue light disco to those who are familiar with its facade) to sign a statutory declaration. I am secure in the belief that there is nothing else remotely possible that I could have done to secure this property, besides bribing or seducing Jamie Packer or someone equally moneyed. So there.

I was so lightheaded with relief (and two beers) that I caught the train home to the wrong station!! M was sweet and had bought a bottle of wine and cooked me dinner...he is currently passed out on the couch and I have been the Queen of the Remote Control. I have watched Will & Grace (with guilty satisfaction...though Lisa likes it too), the amazing Australian Story about Peter Brocklehurst and an equally excellent documentary on the building of Federation Square. I never thought I would get a shiver from hearing a tenor...but Peter Brocklehurst did it for me - his story was extraordinary.

Well...yep. I'm sounding kind of perky (oh god...can I legitimately use that word after tomorrow? Surely. Kylie is known for her perkiness, and she is older than I. Perkiness is not all....that shall be my mantra) for I am feeling fatalistic about everything related to real estate. My birthday? I always worry at my own parties that I don't get to talk to anyone in particular and just flit about all night, but tomorrow night, almost everyone I could want to attend is coming along...and I am so exhausted I am just going to arrange the music and some cheap beer, find a seat, and sit in it...all night. I can if I want. It's not every day you get to kick on into a whole 'nother decade!

Blame Canada

Small brother of [m i a o w] took on Canada in a flying visit for three days at the start April. Now he is back in London, pining to escape, despite invitations to Greek islands and the like. Keep hauling in the pounds!!

The kind of test/kind of for real video clip shoot for 'Seven' is on tonight. It's all outside done on a mix up of mini-dv and Super-8. The Super-8 is what will make it exciting...Lisa came around this morning and picked up almost every bit of clothing I own....but the worst thing? The worst thing is that I have had to come to work with clean, straight hair. My boss took one look at me and announced that I look 'shattered'. I'm so grateful to him.

Winter Already?

Goddamn! It's cold! (Not, obviously, compared to Siberia or somewhere like that, but compared to last Sunday...yike!)
Current Temperature: 14 C
Humidity: 53%
Pressure: 1024.1 hPa
-----------------------------------
Thus my feet....and today's retail necessity - a new scarf.

(Yes - I'm still having mega-fun with my new camera! Can you tell?)

This page disappeared today for a while - I think it just took a small breather from the world at large. And thus I envy it. I, meanwhile, got to work, logged into my computer and had a reminder ping up on to the screen. (Ah, how well I know myself!) It told me that I had thirty minutes to get to a forum on 'Evidence based public policy in the UK and it's relevance to Victoria'. How thrilling! I could hardly bear the excitement. So I departed (rather quickly), got dumped on by torrents of rain (of course have not left office other than at lunchtime for days and days, and it has remained dry...such is the law of Sod) and made it to the lecture theatre at St Vincent's Hospital, wondering vaguely if I suddenly looked startlingly thinner due to being drenched (it works for my cats).

After almost falling asleep and drowning in my own drool for about two hours we were ushered out and given free tea and raspberry muffins. And there was I thinking that it was all a waste of time. I stand corrected. Raspberry muffins make almost everything OK.

House Update:- if you can't bear anymore of my Real Estate Greek Opera do not continue to read from here on in.
As I am still waiting for everything to fall over in a heap again, I refuse to have any excitement. Nevertheless. The owner signed the contracts yesterday and all is about to go into motion once more. I have now reached the same point I was at last time, except that the valuation is done. That is good. What is not good is that I still have to get a letter from my boss. *sigh* I am hoping my bank-lady will 'forget' that she asked me for it in the same helpful way that she forgot to get my tax assessment statement from me. I think I hope in vain - but my paws are crossed. The other thing is that on the house webpage it has 'under offer/under contract' on it. And now that the contract is signed, no one can GAZUMP me.!

Here is a page I find tres amusing - Lisa found it.

Rainy Sunday

V.excited!! Got my birthday present early. A digital camera...HUZZAH!! M bought it for me yesterday and I naturally had to begin snapping everything...well almost everything. It's awesome! On the way home from the shop yesterday (having sworn that I would spend no more money except for the movies that night) I was ensnared by a garage sale. And what a garage sale it was! I spent $50 of my phone bill money (that just happened to be in my purse) on two chairs...

I feel so decadent that I can plug my camera into my laptop and transfer pictures across! My camera is a Kodak CX4230 and it has a 3x optical zoom. I loooove it. This is what it looks like:

It's splendid!

I am at Collingwood until Thursday and today I haven't left the house! It's absolutely pouring.

There is little to eat here, but it's too wet to go out. I've taken on the bread machine for the second time ever (the only other time I used it, the loaf was multi-faceted - it doubled as a weapon and a doorstop). Ooh. It's ready! Look at my weapon bread!

Saw Punch Drunk Love last night with Rie, but I think our dinner may have eclipsed the film, which was really not at all what we expected. What is the world coming to when you go to an Adam Sandler movie and it actually has some depth!? Huh? Odd. Claire sat in our row - which was even more bizarre! (Sorry we didn't stick around! We filtered out before the credits had run all the way through!)
:o)

Movie Posters

Tres Cool Site!

(I though you might like this, Cinematic Claire)

Goodbye Daylight Saving

M had a lovely birthday. All went according to plan. Left his present to kind of the last minute (i.e - put in the winning bid on a Makita Plunge Router just before lunch - thank you Ebay.com.au - and was running to pick it up at ten to six that night for birthday the following day) but all was well. Caught the ferry from Williamstown to St Kilda pier and had several friends waiting in the cafe at the end of the pier to yell 'SUPRISE!' which they did. Though it was v.funny when the ferry was nearing the pier as I suddenly spied D, Rie and Jack scuttling toward the cafe full pelt; I remarked gaily on the distance we had travelled while pointing behind us and M never saw a thing. Was lovely; got an awesome cake from the French Lettuce - the cake shop of my dreams and we presented it topped with a sparkler.

It is now official. Bidston Moss will be having two babies! One via Mung/Rachael and one via Christian/Meegan - it's definitely the least labour intensive way for Christine and myself ;o)

Told my boss that I was leaving :o(
I came in early to gather courage for the deed - he wandered in and I just splurted it out. Oh dear. He said it's terrible news, but I have to do what I have to do. He does think it's good that we're going to be able to hang out with M's mum, but I will be missed here. I said that I didn't want to sever my ties with the centre and he said that he might be able to sort out some kind of online part time work for me, but that he wouldn't really know until Easter. Oh dear. I feel terrible - I actually like my job, but my need to move is greater, so...

I bought a HiAce Van! That's when moving became rather real. It was $900 - it looks like this without the poptop or side windows. M is going hunting at the wreckers for a few bits and pieces and then all it needs for a roadworthy is a couple of tyres and a new windscreen - so hopefully it will be all sorted for under $2000 (which is what most companies would charge to move our furniture etc to Hervey Bay - but this way we get an extra car to keep!) The guy who sold it to us turned out to be a mobile mechanic, so we figured that was a good sign.

Yesterday I waxed the Humber and polished all the hubcaps and trim. it looks killer! Now I have to begin on the interior...hmmm. Daylight saving finished yesterday - which doubled as the longest day in the world - and that is usually my cue to lapse into depression. As Winter gets nearer I end up leaving for work in the dark and returning in the dark - bleugh - but with the thought that I am actually doing something constructive about getting myself to a warmer climate, I don't feel my usual slump coming on. Yes. I know it's Spring in Iowa.

The Secret's Out

I bought a house! Yes - that's up there on the stress ladder along with death and divorce. Not to mention that I couldn't do things simply and actually buy a house in the state I currently reside in, no, I had to head north and find a Queensland house.
Here is a picture;

And another picture;

For those who don't know, when you move to a different state in Australia, it's kind of a big deal. The distance involved is the main issue. Now I'm moving not to the next state, but to the state after that. Hervey Bay, to be exact - right opposite Fraser Island near the beginning of the Whitsundays. Now here's the scary part; it's 1,870 kilometres away, which is equal to about 22 hours of driving.

The house needs some doing up, but is generally fine - the water is at the end of the street. It was pretty cheap, so we are hoping to just pretty it up and in doing so, increase it's value. It's all very exciting, but I was too scared to divulge anything until the owner had signed the contract of sale and the papers were at the solicitors. Of course I'm sure everything could still all fall through - the finance has to be sorted by the 4th of April, which to my horror, is a week today. But everything is in motion and all I can do is just push it along....

I wasn't hugely excited until I started telling a few friends, and then I started getting pretty smiley. Then I get a phone call at work and it turns out to be Scott from CrunchyFrog calling from Iowa?! I almost fell on the floor. He said his jaw was still on the floor from my house news so I suppose we were both in similar states. So bizarre actually speaking to someone I've been emailing for a couple of years. I mean, it was bizarre and it wasn't bizarre at all. So of course after the call dropped out I stood shrieking at my two co-workers and we were all shrieking and then my boss walked it and we all stopped, looked guilty and scuttled to our desks. That's right. I haven't told my boss. I'm too scared. He's going to be v.disappointed. I want to tell him before the end of today, but I'm having trouble finding the right moment.

Have more news, but that's nowhere near as exciting, so it can wait. Here's a few more pictures.
Looking through the house to the front? (Or is it the back?)
A bedroom.
Sunroom or sleepout, not sure which.
Bottom of the garden.

A Horse is a Horse

There are strange and interesting things brewing in the life of the cat, but they may not be spoken (or typed) of at present for they are but brewing and may not occur at all. It is an obscene hour of the morning (or it was when I got up). Couldn't sleep and got up before 6am to go to the gym - as usual I got dressed in my gym clothes, dithered around finding my water bottle, membership card, bike lock key and was so exhausted by this that I didn't feel up to facing the harsh lights and pumping bodies of Footscray Swim World or whatever it's called.

'Never fear,' I told my brain, which refused to stop whirring on the topic of brewing. 'We will ride the gallant steed! I shall name it....Shogun!'
So I jumped on my bike and decided to go down and ride along the river. There are a huge amount of trucks around at that time of morning and also, as Summer fades (to my disgust), it's getting much darker - in fact it was very dark.

This made my ride rather exciting because I couldn't see amazingly well...I think that local governments must consider it wonderful that they've put in bike paths, but lighting them is obviously way too hard. Anyway I hammered on for quite a while, until the track seemed to become some kind of excavation zone. It turned to gravel, and as I'd already trusted myself to the gods on the tarmac, riding over gravel in the dark might have been pushing it. I saw all these people in long skinny boats practicing their rowing. I crossed over a bridge and decided to ride back home to the caravan along the other side of the river.

Oh dear. It all started OK and I realised I was riding along the back of Flemington Racecourse and all the horses were being exercised over the fence to the left of the bike track (the river being to the right). So that was kind of nice, riding along and looking at the horses plodding along...I could see their shapes and hear them snuffling because it was still quite dark. Then the bike track ended and I turned off to the left over the horse exercising track and on to an oval. Well, sort of more like a place that they hadn't yet decided what to do with yet and my bike got stuck in the sand. It was when I got off I realised I was in the middle of the whole horse track surrounded by horses going around in circles *sigh*

This kind of thing hasn't happened to me since I drove my Humber into the middle of a tram depot and ended up surrounded by trams (I had invaded their home) and jeering drivers. At least at the moment my hair is blonde, which kind of excuses me a little bit. Oh god. I bought a heavy duty bike lock the other day and am very proud of it, but the way it attaches to my bike means it clanks against my pack-rack frame. So, there I was, at 6:30am, in semi-darkness, walking my clanking bike with it's little flashing bike light as horses and their exercise-people tried to avoid me as I skulked like an idiot down their track back toward the bike path. That would have been fine if horses didn't find a freak wheeling a clanking flashing thing a little off-putting. So then they started to kind of make those scared whinnying noises and pull away from their humans who had to try and quiet them down. I tried to skulk more silently, but the only way I could do this was by slowing down (which I really didn't want to do). Finally I made it to the bike path leaving chaos in my wake, found that the bike path didn't actually end but continued secretly through a gate and rode of grinning fixedly until I was out of sight (when I began rocking back and forth whilst moaning softly - quite hard while riding but I seemed to manage).

God knows what the rest of my day is going to be like. I have the fear.

Anti-ci-pation

The thesis progresses, slowly. Working full time is not really helping things along. My essay is where I left it on the weekend, about 300 words in. I have the dentist looming at me on Friday afternoon. Not the savage dentist, but Claire's dentist, reccommended for her qualities of kindness and love (not that these will help me once she levers my mouth open, but still....). ANYONE has got to be better than old Savagey-Forcep who, while sticking a needle into my gum, comments on how 'these haven't been taking too well lately'. So calming and thoughtful. Didn't have pancakes last night :o( should have. Keep getting snippets news from my brother who is (name drop name drop) vamping about London with Ralph Fiennes step-daughter...I keep imagining situations like the one in Fawlty Towers, but instead of 'Don't mention the War' she'll be whispering savagely at him 'For gods sake don't mention Maid in Manhattan!'

A Nice Day In

It is a lovely day to stay inside...at home that is. Being inside at work it could be any kind of bloody day and I wouldn't know the difference. It's wet. It reminds me of that piece of meteorological crumpet Donal MacIntyre - last Wednesday on the ABC his weather show dealt with rain. Of course, this means Donal must be glistening with precipitation throughout. He's such a multi-faceted bloke - scuba diving under ice, hang gliding into the middle of a cloud; we were watching him do some insane kayaking;

Went kayaking for the first time at Warrandyte - up until then I had only ever been canoeing. That got boring and I was ready to go it alone. In circles. For hours. I discovered that successfully steering a kayak was an anathema to my brain. M was very solicitous, looking after me, being screamed at (as I rotated about him). Slowly, I started to get the hang of it. We were three quarters of the way down the river and there had been a few rapids when we reached one that had a whole group of people milling around it, falling in etc.

M, brave and true, left my side for the first time that day and helped rescue someone's canoe. Instantly I flipped 180 degrees and proceeded at speed down the rapid. Oh. What a time was had! I arrived at the bottom of the rapid, still upside-down and with eyes tightly shut, due to presence of contact lenses. M hasn't noticed - he was still being helpful elsewhere.

I vacated the flooded satanic beast. Emptied the water. Entertained vast numbers of people with my contortions whilst trying to re-embark. Then M paddled over, noticed my dripping state and asks if I got splashed. I did the only thing I could - I circumnavigated him furiously.

Getting Back on Track?

Having had my tax done I am feeling slightly special and strangely together. I'm sure it will wear off. Have to address the scary tooth situation, but reading Shauna's dental challenge has brought back the horror of lying in The Chair. Even worse than the needle was when they 'tap' your teeth - their reason being that if they 'tap' on and then have to pry you from the ceiling, it probably needs to be looked at. Considering that I unintentionally did that to myself (via my fingernail) on the weekend I have now realised that I need to find a dentist that will trust me (ha-ha) and not look perplexed when I forbid them to touch that bit of my toof until I am whacked out of my head on whatever their dealer...sorry, medical supplies company has flogged them this week.

Have been trying to implement this cool little thing called 'powerlinks' but am not having much luck as it kills off my trackback/ping options in the 'Entry' window. Can't find anyone else who's had this problem naturally. Maybe I should get some proper work done? Oh dear. I've just moved to a new desk with a better computer, but the best thing (though this probably doesn't apply to my work habits) is that instead of having my back to the door when it opens, I am now behindit! Much less scary. Oh bother. My boss just made me call Claire's dentist after telling me horror toof stories. So unfair. I'm booked in for Friday week. Bleugh.

Morning Swim

Just got back from splashing in the sea - on a Monday morning before work! Wonders will never cease! Had such a hideous lack of sleep (very hot last night)that I had to go and do something out of the ordinary - woke up in an advanced state of grump. Now feeling much better, thankfully. Very social weekend *sigh* (that's the thesis sighing). Saw Chicago on Friday night. It was pretty cool, they really were very true to the stage script, Catherine Zeta Jones had sizzle-factor! Chuppa-chup girl was OK and Richard Gere was surprising.

Saturday M and I went and...PICKED UP MY CAR!! Oh yeah! The Humber is back! I have a sneaking suspicion that I will never be able to take it back to George Hall Auto because I will drive it in there and they will all vomit on sight. It apparently took up a lot of time (really - like about a MONTH??!) Mung took his car in there a day or two ago and had been primed to say, 'Oh, you've still got Beth's car?'
Which he did. And the mechanic confessed to crying over my car and their inability to fix it. This soothed my rage slightly. Mwah ha ha ha. I might be tempted to feel bad...if they'd Ever rung me. Huh.

So now the only other business that is stuffing me around is my savage dentist to whom I swore I would never return. Which would be true if he'd actually fixed my tooth; instead, yesterday when I was poking my tooth trying to remove a bit of museli that was stuck in it, I touched the bottom part of it a sent myself into orbit. Oh My. God. They'd forgotten (or were just too bloody slack) to do the filling right to the bottom of my tooth - so now I am too scared to touch it, because when I orbited it felt like the nerve had flopped out and had done a little tapdance. Yike.

Saw Machine Translations, The Fangs and Oneironaut. Machine Translations were great, Onironaut were way too loud (I love it when singers sing a line and then shake their head at the mixer as if to say 'Get it right, I can't hear my foldback...' when the entire band is cranked to eleven) but they were pretty cool a la Swervedriver. The Fangs were a rip off of those wankers The Vines - they were OK, bar the lead singer who felt compelled to scream himself hoarse, and then the song would finish and the audience (who were waiting for the headline band) would clap politely. Had a cool time with Claire, Jenelle and Matt who were my gig-buddies (and I really need gig buddies, because when you have a boyfriend who works in a pub, it's hard to drag him to one under the guise of 'fun').

Oh - last night! Went to the Maribyrnong/Maidstone RSL to see this guy we know play acoustic - it's great! He sets up outside, everyone plays lawn bowls, then when it gets dark you all throw in $5 each and get a bbq dinner! Cheap beer too! I swear, if that was happening in Fitzroy it would be deemed highly cool. As it is, instead of hippies with tatts, there was thugs with tatts, but we all had a very good time!

Tiny gig tonight at the Cornish Arms. 10Speed's second show as part of the Wax Lyrical song competition - doubt we'll win our heat (I have heard they're going for cello-y kind of music, and we're just trashy rock) but it'll be a good practice for us.

It Rains!

The sound of rain hitting the roof is something that I can't remember hearing. It hasn't bucketed down for a-g-e-s. Last night it kicked in, and it's still coming down in an on and off fashion. Rain is good. Melbourne (and a large part of the rest of Australia) needs some hardcore precipitation - water supplies are below half! I think I can sense my garden stretching out and doing some happy sighs :o)

Am going to have an after work drink with my friend E (and her boyfriend, who unfortunately works at the Bureau of Meteorology - it seems I cannot escape it), and then we're off to see Chicago. I love Chicago - it was the major musical my school did when I was in about Year 9. I also saw it on stage here in Melbourne about three years ago, with Caroline O'Connor as Velma. I have heard the film is pretty kickass, though one review I read, referred (fairly hilariously) to Rene Zellweger looking like 'a dancing chuppa-chup". I'm assuming this is a reference to her non-existent body fat.

WARNING-ANOTHER CAR RANT
How Long Can A Girl Live Without Her Humber, Huh?
Car still not back :o( How long can mechanics keep a car for anyway? Especially as they caused whatever the hell is wrong with it. That's one bad thing about rain - my car leaks, and leaks mean rust. If they'd just bloody fixed it I could have had new seals around the windscreen in by now. Does anybody know if you can make voodoo dolls of places of business? I am tempted to begin work modelling the evil so-called 'repair' shop.

Peace March & Matrimony

I have the post-wedding Monday morning blues, which are enhanced by the fact that I no longer have curly wedding-hair :o( Such a lot of planning and it was over so quickly!!

From reports from other bridesmaids, this feeling is pervasive. *sigh* I managed to wangle Friday afternoon off (though no one here know’s that yet) and ducked to Brunswick Street where I bought a beautiful 5” high lamp in the shape of a crescent…oh dear. It sounds very lame, so you’ll just have to trust me when I say it’s divine. Well…it was divine until I tried to get it on a tram, and the wonderful wrapping paper job they did on it started looking shaky. Got M to come and pick me and it up. Once I’d got home I organised myself and then headed back out to the peace march outside the State Library. It was H-U-G-E. Absolutely packed.

M left early to go to dinner and I stood in the middle of Swanston Street for about another 90 minutes until we took our first steps. There were people backed up behind us and lining the street all the way up to at least the bridge near Flinders Street Station and Federation Square. It was quite extraordinary. Once we’d finally got moving (it was very slow going, but everybody was fairly jovial: though I must admit to having rather un-peaceful thoughts to the people with prams who continually ran over my feet; began plotting to send them all to America) I heard a band start up. That really gave the crowd a bit of a boost. I was wondering what band it was, and in my cynical fashion was thinking it would be some crappy band with more hairstyle than soul. However they sounded pretty cool – and when I reached the part of the street where they were (they were playing on the back of a truck) I got a shock! It was H-Block, (my ex-boyfriend's band). They played a great set, and having always been a political band, I couldn’t think of anyone better to play on such an occasion. They rocked.

So then I walked all the rest of the way down to Fed Square on my ownsome, though did bump into David Wilson who was a great friend of mine in high school and I see him by accident every four years or so. Finally we got it together and swapped numbers – hooray! Then D & E found me, and we joined Claire and Jenelle at Pony and I drank a couple of gins before guilt overtook me and I dashed home on a train to pick up my car. Dropped off present at J’s house near St Kilda Botannical Gardens (where the wedding was to be) and headed to the bridesmaids/brides sleepover at Marie’s house. Didn’t get there til 11:30pm but I think people had more exciting things to think about than my lateness. Drank beer and watch a bit of Bridget Jone’s diary, then the three bridesmaids awoke at 7:30am to hit the salon at 9am. Oh my god. We were there for FIVE hours. We all took about an hour and a half each (make up and hair) poor (but very beautiful) Lisa was worked on for about three of those hours. She looked awesome (until she put on the dress, and that upped her description to incredible).

Then we all trooped back to Marie’s and waited around until just before it was time to go before all putting our dresses on. Then Lisa put her dress on and we all ooohed and ahhhed at it. Red satin. Totally decadent. Oh dear. I have to go – will finish the weekend later tonight. It’s five minutes to five!

Ah. So then we were all running a wee bit bridal-ly late and drove forthwith to the St Kilda Botannical Gardens, where everyone was gathered under some trees. It all happened so fast. One minute we were walking (slowly, as required) toward the red carpet, and the next a Doctor Seuss poem had been read and Dennis was given permission 'you may kiss the bride'. There was only one almost-teary moment for the bridesmaids as a whole entity, which was when Lisa stepped on to the red carpet with her dad and Dennis looked like he was going to crumple *sniff* but other than that we were stalwart.

Then we all froze our butts off getting innumerable photos taken, both in the gardens and on St Kilda Pier (and yes...I finally became one of those people that I had always sniggered at, frocked up to the nines and a pleasing shade of blue) - it was FREEZING. The reception was at the Royal Melbourne Yacht Squadron and kicked off with raspberry daquiris...*swoon* - all the food was incredible, everyone had a dance, and Lisa's dad's speech seemed to make many evil references to me climbing in and out of her window throughout our teenage years. Humph.

Delicious cake. Many photos. And then it was all over! M and I decided that this was not to be the case and went to one of our locals (recently transformed from the Railway Hotel to The Blarney Stone *choke*) and had a little dance in our finery, until walking home barefoot at 2am.

Spent the next day meeting with the new married couple for brunch and then helping to bump out of the reception room. The weekend had been so frivolous until that point that we decided to stick with the theme and M and I hit our other local, drank beer, ate chips, played pool and then went and ordered a pizza to eat in front of the brand new Hornblower. Lovely.

Mmmm. Aragorn says no to war. I don’t think I’d say no to Aragorn.

More wedding pix if anyone is interested.

Spasm Spasm

Back in Melbourne. Got off plane only to run shrieking to the beauty salon having realised that whilst putting my bags in the compartments above people's heads on the plane that I would have greatly pleased the Wilderness Society for under my arms was old growth forest. Fine for ferals, but not fine for my swanky goth wedding bridesmaids attire. Then ran shrieking off to wedding rehearsal...walked an imaginary carpet for an hour or so and finally made it home. M worked last night and got in late. Something that I muttered at him as he went to bed (which I think might have been 'Holy crap I thought you were a burglar') seemed to spark a memory in his head. He then snuck from the room and rescued the flowers he'd hidden in his little shed all day and brought them in under the cover of darkness. Though, of course, it wasn't that dark. And then when I turned on the light and did smitten girly squealing it wasn't dark at all. I'm so easily pleased. The ultimate low-maintenance girlfriend.

I came home from Canberra with the sum total of 40 cents in my world, but I did bring M a very cool shirt which he likes and is going to parade at the wedding (where we will not see each other, for apparently the bridal party - of which I am a member - sits together.) My Mastercard is perspiring gently at the thought of being overused again today. I haven't bought a wedding present yet, and in an evil way, am feeling slightly mutinous about doing so as I have to hand over $100 tomorrow for hair and make-up. If I had more money and was more wedding minded I would probably kick myself down the stairs for being such a cheap cow...but as it is...MOO.

This afternoon is a major anti-war rally in city and I would very much like to go. I am, however, being dragged to Carrum by the Bureau of Meteorology for reasons that I am too dumb to understand. Some kind of briefing or something. I was blithely informed that 'these things are notorious for running over time, we should be back in the city by six'. Well - this is No Good for me and my protest plans. Bloody bloody bloody. Many people I know are attending and I want to attend too. I think I shall have to lie and say that the wedding rehearsal is this afternoon and that I must be back for it or face Certain Death.

Have depart in search of wedding gift before I drown in a sea of guilt. Thesis is static - as is my word count. Can't get anything done. Merely have a desire to meet up with Claire and drink buckets of gin. We are the new virgin slaves of Bombay Sapphire.

Reporting from Canberra

Am in the bush capital, and now that I've been driven all around it I understand the title. Canberra is very tree-ful (though I'm sure that's making a few people nervous at the moment). As soon as I got off the plane I had to start calling all the people who said that they'd speak to me to set up times to talk. It was about this time that I started to wonder how I would be reimbursed for my millions of phonecalls - my boss suggested I tack a few hours on to my timesheet instead of trying to extort money for call costs. He is wise. First person I spoke to was from the RSPCA, which was very interesting - they didn't lose many animals - about 2 dogs, a cat and some birds (whose cage was open, but they were probably overcome by smoke). They lost a building or two but had excellent volunteers who helped get the animals out - one woman had 38 cats in her house!! Which was fine, until her brothers house burned down and him and his family were evacuated and had to hang out there as well. Miaow!

After that I spoke to the people who were in the Animal Hospital that was completely annihilated by the fire. People are bitching about them not saving any of the animals, but it's actually extraordinary that they're not dead. The vet didn't even save his own animals that were there - they had approximately 2 minutes warning. As I am a neutral vessel I will not give my opinion on this - I will leave you to guess it. Also spoke to a radio guy from one of the commercial stations and got to listen to some of the log tapes from January 18th to try and establish when the fires started making the airwaves.

It was a l-o-n-g day. Got off plane at 9:30 and didn't stop. Took pages and pages of notes - if my notes were my thesis, my thesis would be finished! Got to my super-seedy hotel (like I've really stayed in heaps of hotels...I'm more a hostel type) but at least it has it's own bathroom. I tried not to register that it looked out on to air-conditioning ducts which purred loudly and attempted to ignore that the room (which gets the afternoon sun) would successfully double as a sauna. Didn't sleep much, for these reasons. Collapsed after takeaway Pad Thai and a Coopers. Have not yet decided whether I'm brave enough to hand in a receipt for my two stubbies of beer. I think I should - a girl needs her fuel to perform to capacity. That will be my argument.

Got up early, still in sauna and went to the window. It was sooooo pretty! Canberra is so weird - it's got so many trees (well it did have) and lots of birds (except for the ones that fell from the sky) - it's like a city that's been plonked down in the countryside. The air at 6:30am was really country-crisp - though I could tell it was going to be a hot one. Had a wonder breakfast, which endeared me further; museli, fruit salad, orange juice and tea all for $10. Killer.

Bought toothpaste, brushed teeth and headed over to the ABC studios to speak to people there. It was not the short walk I had been promised, but I made it on time. After that went to the Bureau of Meteorology. Met up with my boss; I try to attach myself to him at mealtimes as he is in possession of university credit card. Yay. Cheese and tomato sandwiches taste even better free. Canberra has v.nice tomatos!

Have since been dropped at the National Library where I've been searching through newspapers the week before January 18 to look for reported fire risks etc. The library is much easier to use than it's scary website search function, which left me baffled. I am sitting here on a computer that has a sign on it saying:
'This PC is for Research only, not Email, Chat or Games'
Grrrr. It doesn't say no blogging.

Just need to add that Shauny (who I feel is somewhere nearby - we are in the same territory after all) did what I have always planned to do. Obviously she is just hugely more organised. She says;

Thank god I've got my online fix. My laptop feels quite naked without a phone line hanging out of the back of it (hopefully it hasn't been stolen from my rather dodgy hotel). On the final note. My hotel room has no phone line. It sucks.

Afternoon Slump

Ug. Have post-lunch slump. Am drinking second coffee of the year, but am not feeling caffeinated yet. Happy Birthday to Claire who is Fascinating. I missed her celebrations on Saturday night due to drinking punch and dancing around a Brunswick lounge-room to the Buena Vista Social Club. Was sad because Claire and Co. were playing pool at the Marquis of Lorne - the pub I rode past every day when I was house sitting and thought it looked way cool (of course I was too much of a scaredy loser to go in by myself and have a beer, which is why I’m whinging now). Missed the last train and had to catch a taxi to the city where M’s friend from his current café of choice was spinning some vinyl. It was kind of fun – the girl who works in the café is about 23 and very pretty and thinks M is the biz – so I just smiled nicely, felt smug and drank several large gin and tonics (bought for me by M whose largesse towards me increased immeasurably when he saw that I wasn’t going to stage a catfight on his behalf). Got a lift home, thankfully. Had such a fun night…so fun that I was surprised by it! Had my first taste of Bombay Sapphire gin and now, of course, can never go back…I will forever regard Gordons, Vickers, Gilbeys, Beefeaters etc. with disdain (though this is probably not strictly true as I doubt I can afford a bottle of the best).

I feel like outside forces are devouring chunks of my life bite by bite. Still haven’t bought wedding present for the gothy wedding that has taken over the world – which is next Saturday. Had much better writers group meeting on Saturday afternoon – lots of feedback and constructive criticism – felt less like the mauling I got last Wednesday and more like an encouraging massage. Feeling much better about my 20000 words, but really need time and space to get proper work done on them.

This week is a write off (no pun intended) with visit to Canberra for three days, return on Thursday night for wedding rehearsal (how does one rehearse too many champagnes? I may just lie on the lawn), Friday is work and I get to see my questions on probability foisted on to an unsuspecting public (though this, for some reason, will take until after 6pm) and at 8am on Saturday myself and the other four bridesmaids have to troop off to begin industrial strength sessions of hair and makeup. Yeah. Like I said, my novel’s really coming along…

And She's Made It To Friday!

I have not posted since Monday or something! Unforgivable! Have not been able to revel in my usual web surfing and the like as I have had work,work, work to do. Finally almost finished my weather report thing…I pray for it’s end every 30 minutes. Have been informed I am to go to Canberra next week for three days to do some bushfire research…this is kind of good and kind of scary. Haven’t been there before – though I have driven past the turnoff on the Hume Highway countless times – am staying by myself in a seedy hotel in the city. Hopefully not too seedsville – pray for the minibar – pray for the minibar. My boss is from Canberra so he’ll be staying with friends. I’m just going to have to talk the talk and wing it the best I can.

I’m going to be interviewing media people and also those connected with the animal shelters about their experiences; the sequence of events, warnings, what they consider to be the main issues arising out of it and stuff like that. Should be interesting, although I’m just wondering how the hell I’m going to get around as my boss gets the car – he’s going to be doing all the emergency workers and stuff. I think I’m going to be a taxi queen. What’s New Pussycat? is Canberra based so I have to assume that there are some un-scary people there. Actually most of the people I’ve called up and hassled have been very nice to me – only one wanker from a MOR commercial crud radio station used his ‘broadcast’ voice down the phone at me as he pontificated at unnecessary length.

Oh. Went to a writing group via a guy I know the other night and had my work savaged by five guys as I sat there biting my lip and swearing vengeance. I’d only met one of them before – they’d all studied writing together. It was like being doused in Tabasco. I felt very down about it, but there’s not a lot I can do. I have to keep going and hit my 20,000 words before I can think about trimming and chopping. They didn’t like my character and did this terrible thing where they went around the room and summed her up in a word. The words weren’t good, in fact they were all kind of negative, like; ‘whiny’, ‘apathetic’, ‘masculine’. So after they’d diced my first 5000 words into little pieces I had to stay there whilst we went through two other pieces when all I wanted to do was do a Jackie Chan roll through the glass doors to the courtyard and escape screaming down the street, but instead I sat tight and had to get a lift home. Never again.

I have my original writers group tomorrow and I’ve given them the same 5000 words so it will be interesting to see if they hate it as well. Have not got anything done this week – last night I did a paragraph and the night before that I had to go to the beach in the evening because it was too goddamn hot to do anything else. This is not to say I would prefer snow. I wouldn’t.

Hoist the Eyelids

Ohhhh. Gym has played havoc with my waking life. Have been there just after six two mornings in a row – still haven’t done any exercise, mind you, just had myself measured (shoulders, calves, thighs, hips, biceps, height, fat – feel like I’m going to be carved up for a Sunday roast) – this was all done by a guy who looked like the robot guy from Alien that gets ripped in half on the landing bay, but at the same time managed to remind me inescapably of the guy from Will & Grace. I think it was when he confided in me that he was the Ballroom Dancing Champion of Australia circa 1974…or was it when he described the physique of the guy who would be taking me through my program the first time?
He sighed wistfully, ‘I caught him in his little shorts practicing his body building poses – but… he’s engaged…’ Another sigh.

Car still being tended to by the mechanics I previously thought were godly, but now never want to see again (if only that guy wasn’t so goddamn nice, it would all be different). Bought a little indoor plant at Jumbunna Market on the weekend and planted it in the ceramic pot of my dearly departed pink flower plant that He killed whilst I was house-sitting. I brought it into work today. I think shall call it Vert. After all, with a name like that, it's purpose in life should be clear. Remain vertical and green.

Oh, one more thing. My family’s birthdays are over!!! HOORAY!! I’m serious. They’ve sucked me dry! Brother: 27/12 Sister: 16/1 Mum: 01/02 Dad: 02/02 My parents are so thoughtless – firstly for meeting each other and having birthdays so close together, and then…marching on indifferently and having two kids whose birthdays are three weeks apart. *Yawn*
Of course, marching down upon me is a wedding present, an engagement present, and four birthday presents. I feel quite faint. Now I feel fainter – just got a text from my brother in London who is going to RALPH FIENNES house for a party; he’s been invited by the luscious Mr Fiennes apparently equally luscious step daughter. Great. I get to live vicariously through the experiences of a family member eight years younger than myself. [eyeroll]

Today I’m going to drink coffee. First one of the year. Don’t actually like it much, I prefer the smell, but I’m totally about to fall asleep and electrocute myself via the river of drool that will run from my mouth to the keyboard.
Strong latte please.

Exhaust-ed

I have a distinct similarity to a boneless chicken (fans of the Goodies will know to what I refer). Am floppy for want of sleep. Just squeezed what was probably too much into my day and dragged friends with me to torture them too! Weekends are too short! Tried to do everything in too little time! Had a lovely drive to South Gippsland, bought honey, an indoor plant to sit on my window sill at work (oh- window sill makes it sound like I have a window well... I do if you discount the sad fact that all I can see out of it are grey bricks) and some beer from Mirboo North Brewery. Not the most illustrious and asthetically wondrous place, but then...it doesn't need to be - it produces what it probably close to the worlds best beer. And it's CHEAP!!! (But it's only cheap if you go to the brewery itself, if you try to buy it at an inner city bottle shop, it will frighten your wallet).

Ah. Tomorrow morning I have put into place the first little cog of a so far un-acted on new year's resolution. The wonderful Jan from Women's Health West gave me an three month 'Ultimate Membership' to the local gym - and on Saturday (whilst feeling both brave and stupid) I made an appointment to have a 'fitness assessment' (how can they assess something that doesn't exist? I should have just told them over the phone) - the appointment is at 6am!!! Argh! They did stress on the phone that I wouldn't have to be 'measured' which I assumed, from their polite managing of the topic, means fat tested and weighed. No way - I want to know the extent of my holiday feasting down to the last gram!!! Well...sort of. I get free yoga, boxerkick, spinning, gym, pool, circuit and fatburner (not that I know what half of all that actually means).
Am about to pass out from fatigue at the very thought of it.
Thank you D & R for driving everywhere today, I owe you a long meander in the Humber...if it's brakes ever begin to function again.

Should head for the pillow, but with Hornblower roistering on in the loungeroom, I fear there is not much chance of sleep until his battle is won.
Raise the mainsail!

Strung Out & Jaded

What a weekend! All the excitement of unbearable heat, coupled with a medieval murder party, followed by a naturalization ceremony and the barbeque to end all barbeques. I’m bloody exhausted. All that plus having to move out of Collingwood yesterday, thus foiling my plan to hit the Big Day Out *sigh*. Checked this page before and it didn’t exist, then five minutes later it’s reappeared…very suspicious. The murder party was v.cool! Chris wrote it all herself and I made a ‘cone hat’ – which is as near as 44 degrees would let me get to medieval. On Australia Day we arose (having slept about two hours in total because of the heat) and cruised out to Bundoora in the Humber – politicians were in attendance and there were at least 150 people there to be naturalized.

We sat up the back with some friends, and after all the usual politic-talk (brightened only by the first guy who gave an Aboriginal welcome to everybody and explained the dodginess inherent in the day that makes a lot of people feel weird about celebrating it) they began calling out people’s names; who had to go up on stage, get their citizenship certificate, shake all the dignitaries hands, grab a native plant in a pot and walk off the other side. So they started with all these kind of Somali, African, Vietnamese sounding names and no one was really giving a cheer or anything. (I was tempted to wonder about what the equivalent ceremony of citizenship on Australia Day would be like in the US – I doubt it would have been in a marquee in the middle of a drought-struck park with the mayor brushing flies out of his eyes – it was deliciously lacking in pomp). Anyway, they finally called out ‘David Honeybone’ and we all stood up and cheered and made all the politicians laugh. They did ask if anyone who was already an Australian citizen wanted to reaffirm their citizenship with an oath. Everyone except about six people looked incredibly mortified and studied their toes. I thought it might have meant saying that ridiculous oath that they came up with a month or so back (you can find my favourite article on the oath here), but it was just a simple one and not too scary. I didn’t do it, though if they’d offered a native plant…

Then back to the new citizens house for a bbq that went on for a considerable amount of time! I had a ticket to see Wilco that night that the lovely Claire (who was too sick to go) had donated to me. I assumed they’d be playing at around midnight, so went to leave at 11pm; I rang the venue to check what time they were starting so I wouldn’t be standing around on my own like a loser for too long and they said that they were on at 10:30!!! I could have kicked a hole in the wall, I was so f**ked off. Instead I drank more beer until I was carted home at about 1am. I am so sad. Grrr. Sad and dumb.

Monday was spent clearing out of Collingwood, trying to find out how to get the ‘quick release’ wheel off my bike (gave up and just let down the tyre – couldn’t figure out how to slacken the brakes off enough). Am glad to be home, though being in Collingwood was awesome; think I have been forgiven for fish situation (eek!) – have been invited over for dinner tomorrow night (maybe they’re just luring me over to torture me?) My note I left on their table went something like:

Sorry about the black fish – it floated up and died
Sorry about the little fish – it disappeared and the tank had a lid?!
Sorry about the cd player – it jammed with a cd in it and won’t open
Sorry about the bottle bin – somebody stole it from out the front
Sorry about the dead pigeon buried in the garden – it ate too many peaches
Sorry about the absence of hair conditioner, I would have replaced it but I couldn’t find anywhere that sold it.

I’m so going to be tortured. I can feel it in my bones.

PS I saw The Gleaners and I tonight and it was cool.

Having a Heatwave

Oh man. It's 40 degrees. Which is over 100 fahrenheit, I''m sure. Most people I know are watching the Williams sisters play tennis on TV while clad in undies only. Can't breathe or move. Don't know whether I' prefer this or ice and snow. If I had a coupule of servants to serve me an endless selection of gin and tonics, or even an electric fan, I would feel better. Have to go to medieval murder party tonight - rang up to check whether it is still taking place. My friend Chris (in her undies) said that it's still going ahead. So I spent an hour making a cone hat with cardboard, silver doilies and fancy chiffon material that I got from the fabric shop yesterday. Unfortunately when I'd finished it - I realised I made it too tall - d'oh. However it is very rapunzel-like and will go very nicely with my...singlet. That's as medieval as I get in this weather. The wind is terrible and I feel terrible for the firefighters, I can't even imagine what it must be like. I'm feeling very urban and unhelpful.
God. I have made so many mistakes that I've had to fix up whilst writing this that I'm going to end it here. Good luck Venus. Good luck Serena.

Evil Brother

Though I must castigate my brother on behalf of all women, I feel compelled to be a little bit proud of his (slightly skewed) methods of ridding himself of the unwelcome attentions of a 20-something Swedish girl. (I know, I know, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there wondering what is wrong with him. He's 22 - that should explain it.) They had gone out a few times and his intrest had waned (the language barrier didn't help) and she had previously arranged to go back to Sweden for Christmas - so he heaves a sigh of relief...however...
[he writes]

I must admit I find this a combination of heartless and inventive *sigh* - must be off - am meeting the guy whose Nokia 5110 I just bought on ebay - apparently he's tall, and will be wearing a grey t-shirt? If his name was Clive Owen, my heart might have fluttered, but as it was, I just told him to look for a tall chick in a brown dress (mmm, hugely tantalising ;o)....

Canberra Burns :o(

Horrible nasty fires took out chunks of Canberra over the weekend and apparently the danger is still quite high. I walked out the back door today and the sky was clouded by smoke - it smells like a huge campfire. The smoke is coming from the alpine areas in the north east of Victoria. There is only about three kilometres of visibility in Melbourne at the moment - it's given me a sick feeling. So many people in Canberra have lost everything - there was nowhere near enough emergency services to deal with the fire - the ACT only had 12 fire tankers which were nowhere near enough - I don't know why they didn't have back up ready to come in from New South Wales. I'm working in risk and community safety - so I think some of us (probably not me) will be heading to Canberra in a few days time to see if we can find out what went wrong - or at least try and get some idea.

The Age
- Disaster in the Capital
- Forty Years of Artists Treasures Gone
- Bush Paradise Turns Deadly

Sleepy Eyed & Fish?

OK, well, I illustrated in my last post how my weekend was eaten and I'm just posting late this Sunday night to confirm that it was gulped. It is now about 11pm and I have been agonising over songs with my friend Dan - in the end we just thought 'Bugger it, we'll write our own.' So that's what we've been doing for the last four or five hours. This is all in honour of the gothy wedding *sigh* - hopefully it will go OK.
Have typed nothing, nada, nought and zero for more days than I want to think about. VirginBlue is having an air ticket special, which ends in an hour and I really want to get one - v.cheap!! Thirty three dollars to Sydney!! More bad news on the house-sitting front....

Seem to have killed another fish. Not sure how, since it's just disappeared from the tank and I can't find it anywhere nearby. :o(

LOTR - Slightly Skewed

The Straight Dope Message Board has an awesome thread going on where people are posting excerpts of Lord of the Rings as written by different authors. Here's one:

"Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!"
"I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.
I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.
I cannot take it under Moria,
that's one thing I can't do for ya.
I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border."

-excerpt from Dr. Suess's FOTR.

ROTFL...here's 'by' Mickey Spillane....

LOTR by Mickey Spillane:

I was sitting by the fire, puffing on a pipe, still nursing a hangover from the ale-fest the night before, when HE walked in.

He had a long white beard, a magical staff, and legs that youd like to eat on toast.

"Are you Frodo Baggins," he intoned.

"I might be," I said. "Who's asking?"

"My name is Gandalf, Mr. Baggins. And I need your help."

I looked him over. "Lots of people need my help. What makes YOU special?"

"Well, Mr. Baggins... there is a certain piece of jewelry. If it fell into the wrong hands, it could prove... troublesome. I need someone to take this ring to Mount Doom, where it can be destroyed."

I stuck some more weed in my pipe, and said, "Look, doll, let's get one thing straight- you can't come into my hole, tell me a fairy-tale about a magic ring, bat those pretty eyelids, and have me fall at your feet. I stick my neck out for nobody."
--------------------------------
I discovered this via Mul.ti.plic.i.ty

Grey AM / Sunny PM

Went out to dinner last night with my dad and my faux-uncle Noel - they both spent the night heaping insults on each other whilst I ate my way through local mussels in broth with cheesy bread on the side then topped it off with a slice of Coffee Pistachio Cake. Well, they called it a slice, it was more like a small country - Noel ate a good chunk of it while I had a breather, then I finished it off. Then he got busted in the toilets stealing toilet paper. It seems my theory (previously unpublicised) that scavenging doesn't end with your university degree (unless you studied law, medicine, marketing or dentistry). I have been living off about $10 this week and showed so much rapture in my first proper cup of Earl Grey Tea at the cafe that my dad took me over to the supermarket and bought me two packs of Twinings best.

The house I'm sitting has lots of teas. Nettle, lemon balm, echinacia, morrocan mint, peppermint, green, japanese tea with puffed rice...but for GOD'S SAKE!! Sometimes a nice cup of white with one is what is required to retain some form of sanity. Dad topped off the tea with a six pack of Coopers Sparkling Ale - a beer I tend to mention quite often because of my extreme partiality to it. Splendid. I stayed up a little late, getting involved in explaining the game of netball via email, which errs on the tricky side - but then went to bed happily, having got confirmation from my father that he would take care of the burglar noises and the burglars whilst I beat a stealthy retreat. Good sleep. Ignored the mozzie that is still in my room. Can't catch it, so will revenge myself on it by outliving it. Hah!!

Found a cool little tool mentioned over at RubDub which introduced me to Geourl and how it shows all the sites within a 500 mile radius of your blog. I am now sure of my place in the world...well, at least I now know my latitude and longitude. I was aided in my discovery of this via a kind of cool site. It was the only place that would give my puny little suburb it's own lat/long reading - all the others sent me to Footscray and Yarraville.

Going Down To Cow Town

Everytime I think I'm going to be dragged over the coals for not pulling together my research into a cohesive lump, it seems to turn out OK (runs from room to find some wood to touch). So, aparently I am on track...at work that is...masters thesis is another matter [clutches head]. Hitting 10,000 words was bad - I am now crumpling in resolve - but on the plus side, after suffering through yesterday feeling like crap I have now again taken on human form. This is good. However, in my stupor I did forget to transfer a little segment of savings into my everyday account and thus have $5 to indulge in over the space of 48 hours. This is OK for I have a bike - no public transport costs - huzzah!

We just listened to Sam (who I work with) play her banjo on 3CR - v.cool. I had a go of it before she left and can officially declare I am a totally shithouse banjo player - though slightly better than I am on violin *sigh*. Am missing my guitar and wishing I had it around, though that would be another reason to avoid writing and that would be wrong.

Have big clash on Saturday with the great combination of bridesmaids dress fitting and my sisters birthday picnic...then dash off to prepare for the Hen's Night... I must say, I am intrigued by the whole thing - I've never been to a Hen's Night before - I have a feeling that this will be a staid affair consisting of dinner then on to a bar for drinks. This is a good thing.

A Very Warm Weekend

A weekend of alcohol – really. This was dictated by the weather. Gorgeous – if you’re lucky enough to be sitting there with a G&T or Coopers Pale Ale, but unfortunate if you’re barrelling down to Kleins Perfumery in Brunswick Street looking for a present. Mmmm – I did both (well, the beer bit, not the gin bit). Yesterday we went to Wiss’s house to do a painting working bee – I worked hard drinking beer and finishing Boy George’s autobiography whilst everyone else painted and then dug into the worlds best bbq.

Then passed out on the couch for an hour til wakened by a screaming child whom I was glad to find did not belong to me. Was quite horrified at the amount I’d eaten, but nevertheless managed to drag Wiss and M to Hissyfit’s last show at the Empress. Sadly, and because Wiss and I had started drinking at 2pm we had very little stamina, which was also tested by the fact that Hissyfit had a v.dodgy mix, which was a shame. So we didn’t make it all the way through to see Atreyu, but we did make it and see two bands, so we didn’t feel too guilty...
Got up and read trashy magazines over iced coffee at some café in Smith Street – which shows how tired and strung out I felt – I NEVER drink coffee. But it worked it’s magic and I slowly took on human form, and we came back to housesitting house – whereupon M got addicted to Boy George’s autobiography just as I had, thus I couldn’t mock him – we then set off to the St Kilda Botanical Gardens for Steph’s birthday, which was fun. We all sat around in the shade of a huge gum tree and (among other things) planned the sequel to Velocity Girls.
Now back in Collingwood, and feeling unbeatable, as I vanquished the heat and managed to have an awesome day – now, as payback for M disposing of dead pigeon (who died from eating too many peaches - I hope) I about to cook a stirfry that will be ready in time to veg out in front of Hornblower.
The pressure is on! (Naturally, have not improved on my word count today – am wondering if this will improve tomorrow – am hoping so – fervently).

Tappity Tap, Hooray!

Well, I did it! I hit 10,000 words and I'm half way. It's so late that I am almost drooling down my keyboard. I finished my ten thousand quite a few hours ago, but have been trying to get my blog back online and sorted out. If you're wondering why I'm bothering to write 10,000 words, it's for my masters thesis in writing, and also doubles as the start of my crime novel. Will it ever be finished?

Saga of the Blog

Oh god. What dramas!! What have I been sitting here doing for the past hour? I have been sitting here re-entering all my posts via copy and paste! Yes - every post for the past two months (thank god I haven't been banging on any longer, I would have killed me!)
"But why?" you ask.
"Well," I answer with a sigh, "I became unreasonably obsessed that [m i a o w] was not able to be seen from the US on occasion and also that none of my pings worked when I did a new post. Obviously the world was still turning for some people, but not for me. So I asked Martin - my most excellent server dude - whether it was because they'd taken my IP address away, because this was the only thing I could think of that would be causing this problem....

He was more than helpful and suggested he could reinstate my IP address, but that meant deleting and recreating my account and was I up for it? Yes I was. So I gaily used the back up tool in my web hosting control panel, trusted to the gods and let them blow it away. Interestingly enough, there was no option to backup my sql database - I mean, there was one, but my db wasn't listed. Oh well, I thought, it must just be backed up with the rest of it. This was the major bad assumption. The other bad thing was that my account was recreated with a different username so I had to retweak my scripts," I roll my eyes and continue.
"So basically, I could read my blog (though it looked, and still looks, very out of whack) but when it came to posting etc. - no joy. I'd deleted my database and everything was G-O-N-E. Ack.

Jumped on to the user forums where Girlie confirmed the worst. So it was pretty bad, but not as bad as it could have been. I might have lost all the html archives of my posts. That would have really sucked. One plus is that when I began investigating whether I could import my posts into my new installation of Movable Type, I found a fix for the Blogger import and so have brought all those in as well - no longer do they linger unaccessible and alone."
And that's the end of the story...

Jumble Jumble

Just a quick one. Should be studying!! Have got BlogAmp working on the side over there, which is cool. Also scored myself an ISSN number, which made me feel momentarily legitimate. Seem to have lost my background as a result of large scale tweaking - is top of my list to fix. Must depart. Dinner and thesis call. Am way over computer screens at this precise moment - all day and all of the night!!

Poor Fishy R.I.P

He was floating sadly when I got in last night after seeing Adaption at the cinema (not as good as Being John Malkovich, but still…that was a hard one to better). I scooped him up on one of those vegetable serving spoons that let the water run out but the carrots stay, and gave him a burial in the backyard. I did think of taking a photo of him as he lay on the spoon because he was very pretty – shiny black and defined with see through tail. But I thought that R would rather remember him swimming. Now I have to think of how to tell her in a way that doesn’t insinuate that I…

a) savagely beat her fish to death
b) blocked it’s gills with bits of weed and watched it drown
c) held it by the tail and let the other fish eat all the food
d) suffocated it by using too much hairspray too close to the tank

All of the above would be very bad. I don’t know why he died – and I can’t think of anything bad that I did. Maybe he just missed her more than the others :o(

\---end of fish saga---\

Had a fun time last night with my blogger-babe friend Claire and we’ve agreed that more movies are good. I have seen more movies in the last two weeks than in the last year! I think I am part of a growing demographic…

Got a nice email from a different Claire (of Loobylu – see left sidebar) who said it was fine for me to use her wallpaper and tint it purple – she thinks ‘it looks very nice indeed.’ So then I felt fuzzy.

Today, as you will hopefully see down the bottom left hand side of the page, is going to be 37 degrees!! This is bloody hot and is Victoria’s first day of total fire ban this Summer (and probably last Summer as well because it was so totally crap. Summer is an odd looking word if you sit and look at it too long, as I have just been doing.) Riding to work from Collingwood this morning was quite nice, but riding home is going to give Melbourne a shining example of how red my face can go. I used to be stopped in the street when walking home from netball and asked if I was OK. That is because I double as a firetruck. It’s most distressing. I was sitting in Lygon Street yesterday watching all these people gliding around who weren’t even PINK let alone perspiring. I think it’s my English genes.

There’s a great article in The Age today about childhood trips to the beach. Oooh, it makes me want to run away. Now that the Humber has crucified my chance of travel I am dallying with the idea of heading back up the coast for a couple of weeks…hum. I don’t mind the drive too much, now I know that audio books are the key to driving survival – and when you get to where you want to go, you have transport! Unlike when you fly and then need to hire a car.

My plot is to save my $150 Virgin Blue voucher to take off somewhere for my birthday. Am setting off in an hour to meet up with my Dad for lunch – please god let the tram be air-conditioned!! Gee – this has been an exciting post! I’m sure you’re all bedazzled! Comments on what is good to eat when it’s 37 degrees are appreciated…probably not the special panchetta pasta sauce…I’ll save that for the cool change.

Monday Afternoon

Today has been a process of easing back into work, much less of a trauma than I had prepared myself for. I think when you have trouble sleeping it’s easy to lie there and work yourself up into a little lather of depression – it’s much better to get up and do something (like water the garden, feed the cats, search to no avail for breakfast food). Anyway, I share the room that I work in with two other people, O (a boy) and S (a girl) and we’re all round about the same age and are into a lot of the same things. John, our boss, is in an office nearby (one of those tiny poky rooms that professors get) and he came out to lunch with us today. We went to a regular haunt – Sahara – you can see some pix of it here and then we all professed a necessity for cake. And from thereon forward, we realised we had A Problem…

….. Every bloody shop that sells cake around here – RMIT end of Swanston Street – is CLOSED!! Hideous!! We came back to work with the promise that we would resume our cake search in 2 hours time. This we duly did, and discovered that Melbourne is such a hovel (mostly because no one seems to be back at work except the four of us) that we had to schlep all the way to Lygon Street and down a bit to find a cake shop. And by then [insert outraged snort] we were so bloody hot that we didn’t want cake….so we got some killer gelati instead. My gelati was quite extraordinary for the way it overhung the cone, yet still managed to cling together. I had a combination of custard, coffee and honey flavours. I know. It sounds a bit sicky, but it was truly divine. So that killed another half hour or so! It’s nice to have a boss that likes cake and you can hang out with without feeling weird. As opposed to the CEO of my previous workplace who would suggest little friendly walks around the block together, whereupon you would suddenly remember your sore knee that the pony kicked on the weekend.
‘What pony?’
‘Just a pony.’

Monday Morning

Yesterday I went to the beach here in Victoria for the first time in about 10 months or more - took my surfboard – and stood up on a couple of waves and then immediately fell straight back off. Lots of fun though!! Spent about three hours at the beach (for those people who don’t know about Melbourne – it has crap beaches, you have to drive for 90 minutes to get to a decent one, which is what we did) then of course we drove into Torquay to get fish and chips and ate them in the sun.

Then the Humber and old Kingswood station wagon convoyed home getting a six pack on the way and a good time was had by all!! An awesome finish to the little bit of time off I had over Christmas/New Year!!

Haven’t been in Collingwood since Saturday night as I am scared the fish is dead. Am having evil thoughts about hunting down another black goggly eyed one and doing a switch. Is that wrong? Will be meeting C for film tonight, though I may make it to the house before that just to assess the situation – oh dear. Have been sunk in the mire of total slump this morning – a combination of having such a good time yesterday, not wanting to come back to work and very little sleep – got to bed at about 2am on Saturday night and was up at quarter to nine for surf safari, didn’t sleep well last night as was haunted by work and haven’t been sleeping well at Collingwood because I keep hearing scary noises. If I had any money I would buy a bottle of Scotch and knock one back before bedtime.

Rode my bike from Footscray into the city today – which was a slight shock to the system, but actually pretty fun. The only un-fun bit is one nasty hill that goes for about two blocks, but I walk up that like the hack that I am. M is keeping the house like a palace and has done things like polished the kettle – it’s kind of worrying, but there are also bits he doesn’t know which make me laugh. He was telling me how he went to water the front garden (something that is my job) and he turned on the sprinkler hose and the fitting came off and he copped it all in the face – kind of like a silent slapstick movie. Then he got it working and went down the street, came back and…he says this in a very affronted tone…
‘Someone had come through the gate and turned it off!!’
I demurely enquired as to the time of day when this abhorrence occurred.
‘Oh, about lunch time.’
‘But you’re only allowed to use sprinklers between 11pm and 6am because of water restrictions!!!’ I shriek. ‘We’re going to be fined!!’
M looks pained.
‘Oh.’ Then quietly, ‘I’m sure they’ll give us a warning first.’
D’oh.
Besides my pot of purple flowers that he had 80% killed via neglect (they have to be done by hand because the sprinkler won’t reach) everything was very normal. I did offer to put all the plants that need to be hand watered into a pile so they could be tended to in one easy sweep. But he looked like a sad Labrador and said, ‘no, no, I’ll water them where they are.’
My fingers are crossed.
My eyebags are quite extraordinary.

More Holidays Needed

All has been quiet since New Years Eve. A splendid night was had. We did not endeavour to do anything wondrous and wild, we just steamed a stack of mussels, ate a lot of salads and drank much red wine. There were six of us plus a baby sleeping in a port-a-cot in the next room and a good time was had by all. I spent the next day cleaning up, recovering from red wine and sleeping on and off. Quite catlike in fact. Yesterday morning was a great cause for depression - I realised that the 6th of January is actually this coming Monday. I had been under the impression that I had all of next week off work :o( Not true. I can't believe I have to go back in on Monday. Very sad.

I spent yesterday trying to get over my horror of Monday, which was not helped by realising how very far behind I have got with my weekly 500 word discussion topics for my uni course - argh!! I'm about seven posts (= seven weeks) behind. Oh dear. So I got three done yesterday - even though one was more of a rant about crappy academic writing that average people can't understand. My tutor drowns in her own unnecessary wordiness - how about this for a sentence:

Undertaking a writing project confronts us with opening up the possibilities of utilising some aspects of the many feminist positions and ideas to investigate the potentials offered to a project by feminist writing models of laterality and singularity.

[gags]
This is such a wank. It makes me want to throw my laptop across the room. If her thoughts on 'cyberfeminist poetics' are so important, why doesn't she discuss them in language that everyone can understand. I think it's academia's way of making everyone else feel dumber than them. [grinds teeth] I have emailed my rant to my dad before posting it to my discussion group and asked him to let me know if I'm being to savage in my response. Grrr.

Went out last night to dinner with Red as my date to say goodbye to D who has broken up with his boyfriend and has left this morning to go and work in Tasmania on the Ten Days on the Island festival for about four or five months. I may wander over to visit if I ever finish my 25,000 words. Tasmania is very beautiful and a foody paradise. I am always torn about wanting to fly there (it takes about an hour and is very cheap at present) but also knowing that if you get the boat you can take your car and get to see many more places (not to mention have somewhere to sleep, at a pinch). *sigh*

I was just listening to Radio National and there was a doco produced by Tim Bowden about the ANZAC POW's in WWII. After it was finished I heard the announcer speaking and the voice was increadibly familiar! It took me about three minutes before I figured out who it was - Dan from Wobbly Radio! She is on the ball - and sounded great! Very ABC.

Cinerama

Besides being a rather excellent band, Cinerama is what I have been indulging in whilst suffering the heat and being on this side of town! In the last 24 hours I have seen three movies! I saw The Two Towers last night, which was totally cool and then today I ran away to the cinema - they have a special deal on Mondays where films before 4pm are $5. So I started at noon with Bowling for Columbine which basically just confirmed what I already thought about that great nation - the US of A - which is not to say that there aren't some kind of more normal cluey kind of people there (hi Mum, hi Scott, hi Uncle Richard) but that there are waaaaay too many freaky ones for me to cope with! Argh! Excellent film - everyone clapped at the end!

So after sitting there watching Michael Moore and eating a punnet of rasberries, I had a half hour break and ate another punnet of raspberries while I watched Donnie Darko. It kind of sucked. Sorry Claire - I know you liked this film but it just didn't do it for me - I wish that I'd seen Adaption, Harry Potter or Eight Femmes. Oh well - that will be next Monday night if I consider I have written enough words.

Being in Collingwood is really killing my bank account - I did a terrible thing and went into Kleins perfumery. Most women out there will nod sympathetically when I saw I'M GODDAMN SICK of my fave stuff being discontinued. Wah. Example: L'Occitane blackberry perfume. The other thing that sucks is when something you like takes off, becomes famous and is suddenly repackaged in a smaller container and the price jacks up - see the product formerly known as my favourite:

Grr. However - two bright spots - found a perfume with the exact same smell of the Evil Aesops Cream and also discovered that they sell all the Burt's Bees stuff!! I only emailed Burts Bees two weeks ago to find out where they sold their stuff in Australia and they said they didn't. Wrong!! Yum. Only bought the perfume though, no Bee's stuff - saving that for an occasion that demands retail therapy. Hopefully that won't be soon.

Can't write more. Too guilty. Need to up my word count.
[clutches head]
[goes to freezer for bottle of Moondah Brook Verdelho]
*sigh*

Hot Hot Hot

Today is the first day in the Collingwood house. Got here late last night and dragged everything out of the Humber into the hallway. Oooh! It’s like being on holiday! Wasn’t too scary in the night – I did wake up when the fridge whirred but apart from that I didn’t spend too long dwelling on axe murderers and the like. Have watered the back garden, put out a few grains of muesli for the little mouse that I saw in the garden last weekend and whacked my laptop on the kitchen table which has three skylights over head. Have hit 2,100 words and think I will put a word count up somewhere here in case anybody cares…

Have invited C, J and M over at 5pm for dinner before we go and play a gig at the Planet Café (which is ‘just down the road’ – huzzah!!) but I have absolutely nothing to feed them! There is a dial-a-pizza place that sounds pretty awesome, so I am in the midst of doing that money-conserving weighing up as to whether dragging myself to the supermarket in 30 degree heat is going to cost less than a pizza – considering that I need petrol…probably not.

Saw all the Momentum people that I hadn’t seen for ages last night at the bbq. I drove around for ages beforehand, on the trail for my new favourite beer that I was astonished to discover is LIGHT!! That’s so bizarre – I avoid light beer like the plague, but this one you can’t even tell – I had to get it out of the bottle bin to check it was really a ‘light beer’. It’s called Moonlight and it’s from the Grand Ridge Brewery in Mirboo North – there are also stronger beers which are called Moonshine (about 8% alcohol) and Supershine (11%) – the one I like is only 3.2% which is some kind of personal record. Oops, I was on the trail of the beer at the start of this para wasn’t I? Well I found a bottle shop that stocked all the others except the one I was after – typical. Would have bought the Moonshine but I had to drive home so I left it and just returned to my Coopers Green and only drank two, which, if I may say so, showed remarkable restraint on my part.

I bloody forgot to tape ‘At Home With The Braithwaites’ and indeed, have put aside a beer for M if he turns up tonight and tells me he taped it out of the milky kindness of his heart. But as I think he would have left home before it started, I’m not holding my breath. This is why I never bother watching serial stuff on TV – it’s too annoying when you miss one – by the time I tune in next week, she probably will have had the baby and I will have missed the whole thing!! Speaking of children – one of my few friends (D) that actually has one was there last night with his three year old. Thankfully I wasn’t the only one who found the spectacle of a three year old ruling his father with a rod of iron fairly revolting. This kid won’t ‘let’ his dad play the guitar and stood there and whined until he stopped. D said he ‘hasn’t been able to play the guitar for three months’ – if I was a more upfront person I would have said that he should tell the three year old Mussolini to give it a rest and either play with his toys or go to bed. Ugh. Evil child. And D is who I’m supposed to be practicing songs with for the gothy wedding – how that’s going to happen with Small Dictator in existence I don’t know.

Box On!

I am sitting here eating chocolates and sipping tea. Am rather content. Have just figured out how to get my background working – I’ve learnt that if you can’t solve something and are sitting surrounded by clumps of your own hair, it’s best to leave it for a few weeks and then tackle it again. I usually find I tackle it differently…and voila! I thought it was my css file that was doing the evilness but the background wasn’t working properly because I wasn’t uploading the images using the binary setting. I think this sounds geekier than I actually am...

Got a lovely card from the Luscious Lorraine, and also one from Clair all the way from Glasgow. My sister gave me the new Beth Orton CD Daybreaker which I am saving up to play in Collingwood. Also a little moonflower moisturiser from the Body Shop. Tra la. Sat in her backyard today drinking my dad’s boutique beers that he got as a present – M scored a Jamie Oliver cookbook, that looks more artistic than functional, but I eagerly await forthcoming meals… My sister gave my dad a t-shirt from the Wilderness Society; it says Treehugger in big letters on the front and he is to wear it whilst watering his growing orchard of the many and varied species he is planting in his patch of South Gippsland.

I think I shall transplant to Collingwood tomorrow and get it all sorted out; have been invited to a bbq at DP’s tomorrow night (which should be fun – M works every Friday night so I’m happy not to be hanging solo – though this means I will have to tape ‘At Home With The Braithwaites’ – which is my current TV addiction) so I will drive home to Collingwood tomorrow night and spend my first night on the other side of town.

NYE plans are not shaping up as hoped. Was desirous of going to the Nariel Creek Folk Festival but M demurs and says I should get a start on my writing (sad but true) and that he needs to make the box in time for NYE for Chris Moss which he hasn’t yet started. We are thus thinking of having a party here – seeing the house is still prettied up as a result of Christmas – but I never have the same kind of fun at my parties that I do at other peoples….so…we shall see.

Claire has got some linky action going on her blog – you should check it out – click on the link over there on your left…

Oh! And the other thing - I got an email from my gothy friend L who sent me a link that someone had sent her - I followed it and there is a Humber for sale on ebay!! It's in Northcote, and as soon as I saw that I knew whose it was - Tom - who I met in Balaclava about six months back. We had a long chat (I was sitting in my Humber, he was on a motorbike) and I told him NOT to sell. He has obviously ignored me. I'm v.tempted to buy it just to save it from someone who might not love it enough...oh dear....

Eat & be Merry

Click the pic for the Lost Diva!
It’s over! The first time I have ever put on Christmas! It’s
8pm and everything is cleared away – we have unintentionally, but happily
acquired the rest of a bottle of champagne, a bottle of port, chocolates,
shortbread, a selection of beer from Mirboo North Brewery, blackberry jam that
my dad made and those are just for starters!! It was a lovely day – didn’t kick off too well – M did not respond well to gift as he hadn’t got me anything – we’d each bought a ticket to the Meredith Music Festival for each other but I thought I’d get him something extra. Anyway – I ignored his little hissyfit and we put on a yummy lunch. I made two salads (Huzzah!!) a potato salad and a bean salad, we ate a few dozen oysters and steamed mussels and then M cooked snapper steaks with asparagus, mushroom and blue cheese. To die for! We finished up with cheeses, cherries and a bowl of apricots from the man over the road. I made us Christmas Cocktails of Midori and Pinapple juice whizzed with ice in the blender – I even got my Dad to have one!

I scored some really awesome presents – got some excellent books from my Dad – two Saint books to add to my collection, the new Ian Rankin novel ‘The Falls’, a Peter Temple book and another book called The Connections which he reckons is pretty good. My Mum? She went all out! She gave me a package of about four things from The Body Shop *swoon* and some Nut Body Butter, some divine wind chimes made with Australian hardwood, a set of wine glasses and together her and my dad got me the best thing – a $150 voucher for Virgin Blue airlines – I’m outta here!! Well…not really…I’m going to put it right here next to my laptop as incentive to get through my course on time and then I’ll flee somewhere like Queensland, Tassie or northern New South Wales. Hooray! M is in seventh heaven because Mum and Dad got him a DeWalt angle grinder – ah – power tools will do it every time!

M is on the phone to his mum up in Hervey Bay right now – I miss her – I’d like to get up there to say hello. He said she has instructed him to tell me to write her a letter – I wrote her a very long one a few months back and she says she rereads it quite often! (Maybe this is the perfect excuse for me to avoid watching the video we just went and ‘picked out’. It’s some action flick, and as my last relationship ended after a trip to the video shop, I opted to preserve the Christmas spirit and said, ‘An action movie?! Wow! That would be great! – LOL)

The Rising Tide of Yule

Well…have cleaned every window inside and out. I think that some of them haven’t been done for a couple of years!! It’s much nicer now. Weekend of chaos – played a gig on Saturday night, it was such a long day, we hung around for about four hours before we were due to go on, and then the bass amp was quirky and it was all a bit of a debacle. Though two people that I know from where I’ve been working for the past two months turned up! (About two minutes after we’d finished, but still…it was so nice of them to come!) Then we headed back to M & R’s and drank too much to drive home and slept in their spare room…it was like being on holiday! In the morning I got the tour of the house and plants that I am looking after for a month beginning on Boxing Day. I am looking forward to it…subscribing myself to the theory that ‘a change is as good as a holiday’ – got my fingers crossed.

My sister has taken it upon herself not to come to Christmas…a decision that is pretty weird, but she is of the opinion that the family is a dysfunctional farce, and so is driving two hours out of town to have Christmas down the coast. My mum and dad (though recently split) are both coming, so M and I are going to prepare a feast – for such a ‘dysfunctional family’ I think we will have fun – her loss. My brother is living it up in London and writing emails about spying Gwyneth Paltrow across a crowded room…tee hee…now if he sees Clive Owen somewhere, then I’ll be impressed!!

Yesterday I made a cake – ostensibly to take to R’s birthday in Edinburgh Gardens but it wasn’t done in time. It’s double layer chocolate made with wholemeal flour – kind of scary but also comfortable too. I think the number is now up to two (that’s the number of cakes I have made this year…mmmmm, domestic goddess).

OK – I have sent my package to Iowa!! It is now in the hands of the postal service and there is nothing more I can do. Hopefully the response to the package will be recorded on CrunchyFrog – I’ll wait and see…

What else? My car!! Oh. My. God. It cost sooo much money. I can hardly bear to think of it. My Mastercard is quivering under the stress and my overseas plans are being rapidly downscaled to somewhere cheaper….and cheaper still!! At this rate I’ll just stay in the country and see if I can mind someone elses house *sigh*. Apparently there is a card from Glasgow at my mum’s house from Clair (the Tasweigan I used to live with) so maybe she would offer the use of her couch?! The car runs quite beautifully, thought the brakes do this weird thing where they are mostly fine, and then you have to push them to the floor…and at a certain speed when you aren’t accelerating it kind of judders a bit – this is not what I paid a one way ticket to London for, so it will be returning after Christmas to be looked at.

All my Christmas shopping is done. Feeling fairly smug. Had it all giftwrapped when I bought it (rather soulless, but a low-stress decision). Basically the house is like a brothel, but I am hoping I can downscale that tomorrow. I am going to make two salads – one is a pasta salad with red capsicum, sunflower seeds, basil and sundried tomato, and the other I haven’t decided – maybe potato salad (spuds are good) or a bean salad? Eeek.

Dust Bunnies

Bleugh…am kind of functioning. The Meredith Music Festival ate my weekend – but in a nice (though very bloody hot and dusty) way! Sleater Kinney rocked my world, as did Bob Mould, Lisa Miller and the Adam Simmons Toy Band (I had never seen anyone do a solo with two rubber chickens before!) I heard Jon Spencer and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs – who both sounded very cool! But I was in my sleeping bag for the former and putting up the tent for the latter – this makes me sound very lame, I agree, but you must consider that it was sooooo hot! Like about 35 degrees Celsius and I drank much beer to combat it – thus feeling the need to sleep at about 10pm on Saturday night…tee hee hee.

I then woke up way earlier than everyone else and went on desperate search for water (before I dried out into a raisin). It was quite entrancing! I picked my way among three million beer cans and passed out people sleeping in impossible positions…obviously I have a measure of unrealised intelligence – because I was up so early there were no lines for the toilets or the café tent…it was all very liberating. We got a lift with Mung and Rachael and I was introduced to the wonder that is a camper van. I want one. Imagine it – drive to wherever you want to stay and then just stop and make a cup of tea in the back! No tent to put up or anything. I feel v.enlightened. They made us nachos and eggs on toast and cups of tea…very civilised.

On Sunday I realised something that I never knew about myself. I am a Dirt Magnet. I was easily dirtier than anyone else I saw all day. It was quite perplexing (and equally revolting). No one could quite believe how much dirt stuck to me (I have a personal theory that it was all related to my sunscreen, but still….). There are photos to prove it and when I get them back I might be brave enough to put a ‘dirty picture’ up here. I had to have about a 20 minute shower to get it all off (which is not a good thing in these days of water restrictions).

It was sooo dusty at Meredith that every few hours or so a water truck/fire engine thing would cruise through the crowd and around the front of the stage spraying the ground (end everyone who was chasing the truck) with water to lay the dust. It was incredibly hot in the sun, and the crowd was an oddly shaped affair, because everyone was sitting in the shade of the trees and nowhere else (except for the people right up near the stage). When we got home it felt as if I'd been away for days, instead of just overnight...it's now 11am on Monday and it's just started to filter through that my weekend has passed and I have another five days to work - argh!

Christmas is a week from Wednesday and is beginning to scare me (the organisation part, I mean). I haven't sent out any cards yet, haven't posted any of the things that need to be posted (though be reassured Scott, I put together a rarities cd on Friday night) - Tom, if you read this, having your birthday so near to Christmas is a total pain ;oP

Am dwelling on house sitting in Collingwood through January as a kind of enforced writing retreat - I think I might be more inclined to get further through my 24,200 words if I'm not surrounded by my own stuff to distract me (cats, house to clean, garden, telephone etc.)...anyway, would be a cheap writers retreat! Must now return to the wonders of probability - have just found out I have to go to the Bureau of Meteorology tomorrow...*shudder*...sooo interesting...

My Blog Ate My Life

Oh dear. I think this…actually, I know the page has been running my life for the past few weeks! It’s bad! I have been neglecting cats and M (though luckily he has his own boaty obsession) not to mention Crime Factory on which I am criminally behind…and my study…it’s a gaping void. It’s quite tragic. I’m starting to exist in a mire of guilt…and I’m having lunch with D of Crime Factory tomorrow and must be able to report good news. No sitting on the couch tonight (apologies to my eyeballs who have put up with a great deal over the past few months – lasers, drops, computer monitors…)

Humber is in at mechanics to be tuned and have brakes fixed in time for this weekends journey to Meredith. I’m sure I will have the usual last minute camping frenzy and bring too many tea bags and no can openers…at least Melbourne will be receding in the rear vision mirror!! I'm sure I will exist on Hare Krishna food and vast quantities of beer and good music...now if I can just drink enough to numb my shoulder, maybe it won't notice that it will be sleeping on a mattress 1cm thick...

I am trying not to think about the fact that I’m going to be spending my ten days off over Christmas and New Year writing 25,000 words…argh. Someone will have to lock me in a room…or a better option would be to spirit me up to northern New South Wales and sit me on a verandah with my laptop, a gin and tonic and my feet in the sun!! Bliss! I’m sure that would make me very productive!!

The Epic That Is My Life

It worked – this page is looking the way I wanted it to – Kristine (the fixer) even peeked in to check out her advice in motion! Huzzah! Now I can set up my archives pages a bit better and stuff. Last night my dad met me after work to give me some audio book tapes that I lent him and some free range eggs. He asked me if I wanted to get a cup of tea somewhere (coffee is yuck) and I pointed over the road at the fancy Italian café whose window I fog with cake lust most mornings. So we went in, and I suggested it would be fatherly of him to buy me a cake…so I finally scored a slab of the lemon curd tart that I have been making eyes at for days. I half-heartedly offered my dad some (he refused) then I inhaled deeply and it was gone *swoonworthy*. Yum.

I also got a peppermint tea which looked v.cool as the tea was in a silver-foiled stick with lots of little holes punched in it. So now I need to own some….and I’m also still on the trail of Stash Tea – I am loathe to order it over the net, simply because there has to be somewhere in Melbourne you can buy it. The Coffee HQ stands at the city train stations use it, but they seem to all be nuff nuffs (albeit, quite nice ones) and can’t tell me where they get their tea from. Anyway…I’m on the trail.

So after that I headed to Mungs to do my first bit of recording for the second [bilby] album – he gave myself, Chris and Jel the album and we picked the songs we wanted to make up singing for – of course Chris and I settled on one of the same songs, but I think that will work out pretty well. I [ahem] really liked what I did for that one and didn’t want to let it go, so I got Mung to record it and put it together with what Chris had done and it worked v.well!! Her bit is sing-y and mine is more talky in a kind of Arab Strap kind of way and they fit like a jigsaw. Awesome. The other one I did was a country kind of song – tee hee – it’s all about a girl who’s man has walked out on her and you think she’s mourning him, but then she says that ‘I can’t sleep for thinking that you might be back in town, and between your eyes, I’d like to see the sky…’

So…that was it for last night. There are about three other songs I’m keen on and I’ll try and have them worked out by next Tuesday. When I got home M had bought me two stubbies of stout! So I donated one to the worthy cause that is himself and drank mine. I was soooo disciplined. I very much wanted to crack open my laptop and fix my site with the code that Kristine had posted, but I knew I would end up boggle-eyed and late-nighted, so I set my alarm and got up at 6:30 and didn’t leave for work until 9:15am because I was so excited that it was finally working out!

Then (this is such a long post, but I am nearing the end point) I got the train into work and the ticket nazis were checking tickets at the Melbourne Central station – I looked casually for my ticket in it’s little pocket in my bag. Nothing. Argh!! I actually spent $22 on a weekly ticket on Monday and it was gone!!! I kept shrieking ‘I bought a weekly…a weekly ticket on Monday!! Don’t fine me! Don’t fine me!!’ They were unmoved, demanded my i.d and copied down all my details. I, meanwhile, was being washed by waves of nauseous desperation that I was about to be stung for over $100 when I’d actually bought a ticket…and the anorexic state of my finances since the $240 half hour session with the savage dentist on Monday.

I staggered out toward the shops trying not to cry and think about calling M and entreating him to look on the floor for my ticket, I sat down to search in my bag some more and then I started feeling a little bit more logical. I remembered that when I went to validate my ticket in the machine there was a whole primary school lining up at it to get on the train, so I didn’t bother and stuck……the……ticket……in……my……
Yep. I found it in my coat pocket!!! Instant jubilation!! Ran screaming back to evil ticket man and pressed my ticket to his eyeball. He very calmly said, ‘OK. I’ll cross your details off the list,’ and waited for me to go away. I stood there, waiting. He twigged, sighed, and said ‘Do you want to see me cross it off?’ I nodded. Then he started being a pain and grabbed his mate and said to me, ‘This is a witness.’ (All I wanted was to see he’d crossed my details out). And his mate got all righteous and said, ‘Don’t you trust us? Do want our names?’ But by this time I was halfway up the escalator and gone, having run the range of emotions from angst to zebra…or something like that. Now I am a rung out little dish towel who should really get some work (work?) done.

Horoscope Taps Girl on Shoulder

Your Daily Horoscope - TAURUS

It's stop and go time. You've got one foot on the gas and one foot on the brakes. Self-control and restraint are major issues now. No question about it. This is a tough and frustrating period. Your every effort may be blocked. Specifically, you know what you want and you can't seem to get it because authorities, institutions, loud noise, parents, and males are standing in your way. Stop the car for a moment.

Is Horlicks Good?

I think that sleep is a necessary. I am going to by some Horlicks. I was jogging...
jogging..around the oval at a quarter to six this morning. All because my horoscope said it would be a good idea to get rid of stress via exercise. Yeah right. Considering that my normal friendly stress levels peaked out in an unrivalled erruption last week and then settled down to an extraordinary low level on the weekend, I thought jogging might keep them low. Jogging is torture. But at least you don't have to talk to anyone and there aren't any lycra clad gym bunnies around offending your touchy early morning sensibilities....
This is a test btw....my new site needs love and attention, it's getting little of the latter....

A Different Beth

well...maybe Didn't think I would write today, but was inspired by the blog of
another Beth who is having turmoils...she mentioned in her post about a friend
who had a 'head against brick wall realisation' and I had one of those the other
day too...though completely insignificant... M was driving me to work and we go
through a bit of North Melbourne where there are kind of industrial buildings
that are big enough for trucks to drive into, and I saw in big letters on one
doorway MAX HEADROOM. Here comes my blonde moment….wait for it….I had only ever thought of that as the name for that 3D plasticine-y looking guy in the
eighties…it had never occurred to me that it was short for ‘maximum head room’.
Oh dear. This kind of thing happens to me often enough to be slightly
unsettling. Mow has had his fur shaved and the report from home says he now
looks like a skinny feral rat that should be living in a drain somewhere…(previously he was a puff of Persian-ish fur). Welcome to Summer, Mow
– it kicks off on Sunday.

Etiquette?

An etiquette driven by sight, sound, scratch and smell - theage.com.au When you
get into your car, it's like stepping into your own little house on wheels; this
is YOUR private domain, and you can play whatever music you like, you can make
whatever noises you like, you can create whatever smells you like, you can
scratch whatever itches you like, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE IN YOUR LITTLE
MOVING HOME - sometimes when I'm driving in my car, I like to roll up the
windows really tight on a hot day, and sit there quietly, suffering in the heat,
with my face melting off and my hands fusing to the steering wheel, just because
I like people to think I've got air-conditioning. --Danny Katz--

Eye Droppings

crocodile tears Keep tipping false tears into my eyes...apparently dry eyes are
a fairly normal result of laser surgery...or so the interent leads me to
believe...I see...I do! Now I know I have little sad abrasions on my eyes I feel
bad for them and try to keep them wet and happy -it's kind of like looking after
a tadpole in a drought. Poor house. It is gone. I think I'll go and throw all
the photos I took of it's interior away so I don't ever stumble upon them I'm
sure Lorraine is right and there are better ones out there - but there are
aren't many other places as nice as Toogoom that I have tripped over
recently...if ever. Studying is trundling along - I am 500 words from being up
to date. The stuff I wrote last night was such a crock I can hardly believe it,
but I have decided to feed them what they want and then hassle them about it
later (after they've marked me). All this crap about semiotics, sight and
perception (which did not go down well with me as you may imagine) and virtual
worlds and the making of computer games... I just fail to see how any of this is
relevant. I have a secret belief that the tutor in question just had a paper
she'd written hanging around and thought she'd slot it in somewhere. God. I
can't suffer alone, here's a bit of it: By the end of this module you will have
explored: - how the eye makes sense of what it sees; - how the mind makes sense
of what we see; - how we construct meaning from what we see; - the implications
of these issues for making effective computer games Guess what my course is?
Writing. I'm trying to write a crime novel. Oh yes, extremely relevent. On
another point - I have been saved from buying scary Wittner shoes to be worn at
wedding of Goth. Lisa came over last night to collect her DVD's that I stole
from her ages ago and I modelled my two pairs of strappy black sandals for her
and she approved both as appropriate...[big sigh of relief]...I have had enough
shoe trauma for one week....(mainly due to the fact that 'slides are in' this
'season' and so if you want summer shoes with an ankle strap you'll have better
luck fossicking through your attic...which Australian houses don't
have...so....you wouldn't have any luck at all....say hello to thongs...

No House For Me

My house that I was willing to saw off my own arm to have has been sold to
someone who will never love it as much as I do :o( This is very sad.

Eeyore Eeyore

The Monday Mope Not a good response from optometrist; laser surgery has enabled
me to see like a raptor, but my eyes are suffering from lack of lubrication :o(
I have to go back in a week...my eyes are getting grazed from lack of moisture.
I am now in possession of lubricating drops and gel! Naturally, retail therapy
became a necessity. My new shoes are.... ...not startingly lascivious, but super
comfy...(please ignore that I typed that, it is a very old/sensible person's
thing to say. The guy in the shop was very helpful - I was torn between the more
glamourous pair and the practical pair... "Ohhhh," I sigh, viewing my feet in
practical sandals from every possible angle. 'They're just not very exciting."
"Depends what you want them for, love," responds shoe seller guy in a Zen-like
manner. "Well, they need to survive the beach, a music festival, camping, um..."
I look beseechingly at him in the hope that he will take the decision from me.
No girl really wants to have to take on the decision to buy sensible shoes. Do
they? He'd gone. I saw him spouting wisdom at a German tourist. I put on the
more frivolous pair and walked around the shop, imagining I was stumbling around
at the Meredith Music Festival, weaving around tent pegs and evil remants of
Hare Krishna food. The decision became simpler. Fifty sensible dollars later I
was driving away from the temptations of Chapel Street towards museli at
FeedBack (one of my three currently acceptable cafes....)

No Sunday Driving

Sunday Indoors Today I conquered the world from my couch! I hereby proclaim that
no one should have to work on Mondays. Well, maybe half the population should so
the other half feels lucky, and then they can rotate every six months. No way
would I have had the nice day I had today if I'd had to go to work tomorrow.
Didn't get to bed til three thirty after last nights gig, so didn't surface
until woken by a mournful cat at about 11am. I had egg and soldiers made for me
and only left the couch to have a bath and put on different pajamas! I caught up
on the last two weeks of my study and so assauged some of that guilt. Tomorrow
is another study day - but I also have an appointment at my optometrist - it
will be one month since I had my eyes lasered! She's going to let me know
whether I'm OK to go surfing and swimming and stuff like that. I'm excited!!
Obviously if all goes well I will have to visit a shoe shop in my quest for some
chunky summer sandals - I've only got thongs or sandals with a heel which are no
good for anything but work. A girl needs the kind of sandals that are good for
jumping around in. I'd like to move my site to MovableType but I have to wait to
hear from the ISP whether I can do it or not...

Sleep

s l e e p y....last night was fun (albeit in the usual haphazard way)...of
course I'd practiced all the songs to the cd without thinking that the band had
just come back from the european tour and had just begun to play all their songs
in a [um] organic kind of way. So I stumbled through...I added a link to Simon's
(Sneeze drummers) brothers site because I remembered how much I liked the mp3s
on it when I visited it last. It's nice to find poetry that you like - mostly I
don't like what I find and feel like a bit of a boring culture-less idiot, but
Adam's stuff is full of lots of images...particularly of Sydney.... Today the
weather is divine...I have proclaimed a limit on study guilt until Monday when I
will study all day until I am up to date...that's right! You heard it first
here....am feeling a little seedy...need to find shower, cafe & paper.....in
that order..... I wish I had a digital camera because then I would take a
picture of my garden which is actually looking very pretty! Lots of flowers,
tomato plants, flowers, capsicum plants, flowers, chillies (is that how you
spell it....?) brain aches....

Travel Sickness

Just dropped my brother Tom at the airport - he's disappearing to London :o( I'm both sad and jealous...he'll have an awesome time though...and I'm grateful that he moved out of my place a month before he left, because now all his crap is at my mum's house ;o) I've set him up a blog, but he'll have to find internet
access, which I can't see him paying for...anyway, if he does start updating his
blog I'll put a link over there on the left of the page...am going to have to
retail therapy myself a treat to cheer up. Got up at quarter to six....am still
counting down for this week to be over!

Bed Early & Tiny Cat

Oh, must concetrate on getting to bed early. First night of no commitments (do
not misunderstand me, a social life is Good) but it's nice to come home and only
have to think of all the stuff you have to do in between the walls of your house
rather than knowing you're going out and won't be home til late.... Today I went
to the Bureau of Meteorology and sat surrounded by....meteorologists (what a
suprise!) I did make a good contact for the stuff I'm researching at the moment,
so that was good...I spent the rest of my time propping open my eyelids and
being baffled by probability data....eeek! David Jackson, you owe me lunch!! The house of David & Ellise has a tiny cat!

Orgasmatron Failure

Oh, and in previous whinge, forgot to mention yesterday's disaster. I traversed
the entire length and bredth of Melbourne Central yesterday lunchtime (only
occasionally sidetracked by shoes) looking for an appropriate birthday present
for one Rie.H and I stumbled on what I thought was the perfect giftie - yes, of
course you guessed it, the - ORGASMATRON - the ultimate head massager (in case you were worrying). Handed it to birthday girl with a smug sense of
satisfaction.....naturally, it was such a perfect gift that she has been an
Orgasmatron convert for more than a year and actually had one sitting on her
loungeroom window sill. The shame! It shall be exchanged, though what one can
get of a similar calibre from the Geographic Shop is highly questionable....
Scott has a blog page now, btw - am I allowed to publish the link?

Frustration Nation

oh....I am v.frustrated....I have too much to do! It's driving me nuts that I am
at work with this kick-ass connection to the net and yet can't tweak up this
page and have too many other things I need to be doing to feel good about doing
it at home. [clutches head] Tomorrow I have to go to a workshop at the Bureau of
Meteorology on Snow Probability Forecasts [downcast]....argh. I have two free
nights this week and one of them is going to be repairing Mung's
computer....which, at this stage, I would prefer to throw from my office window
because: 1) then it would be gone forever 2) fresh air would get in I have to
write two website reviews by Friday of Media Watch Youth and Girls Inc. - this
is while I'm learning Sneeze songs, and...omigod...that right!! I'm in the
middle of doing my masters! have I had time to even look at anything now I'm
apparently two weeks into 'summer' semester? That would be a B I G F A T N O!!!!
http://www.girlsinc.org/gc/

Floating

OK, got my float money, now only a few more minutes of work to try and not look
like a slacker who just ran to the bank for twenty five minutes (the teller
couldn't believe that God had singled her out to a psychotic like myself who
demanded astonishing amounts of small coins and notes). Tonight I think I am
going to walk up to the Queen Vic. market and see if there's some fish stall
still open and I will take it home and see if M will cook it up without
demolishing the kitchen (which is something that detracts a little bit of
enjoyment from even the most yummy dinner). Am still trying to figure out a
solution for getting the weather on to [miaow] but no luck so far. Tonight I
have sworn to hang out at home and practice my Sneeze songs because they're
heading down to Melbourne next weekend and there's a couple of shows lined
up....I wish I had a photographic memory for this kind of thing....

T.G.I.F

Yay...it's Friday! Oh god. I just realised what I didn't do at lunch time! I
didn't go to the bank to get my market float!! Eeeek. Will run now and try to
make it!

Treading Water

Today is a very non-constructive one. V.hard to do work, as I know I must leave
early to get to....the Dentist :o( Oh dear. I ate a chocolate cupcake at
lunchtime as if it was my only hope. Please let the dentist be kind. Pleeeeeese.
Let me remain fairly untraumatised? I really hate when you stick a book in your
bag to take on the train to work to read while travelling and also at lunchtime,
and you have a niggle that you've seen it before....but the blurb on the back
doesn't bring anything to mind, and then as soon as you settle with your
california rolls and your aforementioned cupcake...you open it up and recognise
the characters immediately....*grrrrr* Does anyone want a copy of the Frances
Fyfield? Have set up comments on the page and battled ceaselessly to get my
archives working.... I think all is well. [she grips a nearby tree] Am looking
for a weather button to put on my page... Bidston Moss have a gig on the 21st of
December at good morning captain so that will be a nice way to see the year
out....

Aimless Walking

mmmmm. long aimless walks through city. buying a chocolate for $1.20 at David Jones (an apricot royale - very worth it). my lunch break ended up being an hour and 45 minutes long....evil....evil....evil....but strangely fulfilling... Hello
to Claire, Lorraine and Mae....

B=1 Computer=0

Well, one hour’s sleep isn’t all that much to get through the day on…..[snores]
I have no stamina without sleep – I have already power napped at my desk by
accident – twice (though no one can tell because my back is to them and it looks
as if I am intensely interested in what’s on my screen). The computer, of
course, is what caused my downfall. Until 4:30am I battled with it, and finally
(though this is a debatable assertion) I beat it! The joy, at that early hour,
of hearing the trilling of the modem as it makes a faultless connection to the
Warragul server, when before it only ever connected once out of every five
times. The sparkle and zip of a brand new operating system, the reinstallation
of My Documents and the dubious importing of old email messages….aaahhh…for those things I have not slept. I think I must remember at some point to get a
life….. Oh, I am going to see the ‘classic fifties noir film’ Kiss Me Deadly
tonight (though whether I’ll watch or just pass out is an intriguing question)…
[yawns….again]

B=0 Computer=2

OK, it's about five minutes to one am and I'm in the country - the kind of
country that has no street lights and lots of animal sounds. I have been waging
valiant battle with my dad's computer since 11am this morning, have bought him
an new one in desperation, have been sold a dodgy hard drive, have spent the
last three hours ascertaining that fact and now have regressed to using the
original 1.4gig (eeek!) drive from the old dinosaur computer in the newer one
*sigh*. Computers, for all their wonders, are ruled by sod's law. Anything that
doesn't work, will continue not to work until one has pulled out one significant
clump of one's own hair....M is sitting in the opposite chair reading a book
called Scorn - a book of wonderous quotes that he is spouting at intervals. I am
unruffled as I have had two mugs of black coffee (more than I drink in over the
span of six months) and a shot of Chivas. Am actually remarkably unruffled....
FOR GOD'S SAKE!! HOW LONG DOES THIS OPERATING SYSTEM TAKE TO INSTALL??!! (...and when it does....will it fit on a 1.6gig drive???!)

Festively Criminal

The Yarraville Crime Festival (the one session I made it to) was v.fun. I came
third in the Crime Quiz and scored three new books! (Naturally David Honeybone -
editor of Crime Factory magazine, came first - which is to say he hammered
everyone else....). Flu or whatever it is lingers on - the doctor informs me
it's a virus and thus I must suffer til it goes *sigh*. Today is going to be 30
degrees and this is a good thing - long may it continue. Spent last night by
myself at home, which is always a little bit decadent feeling. I've been working
on some [Bilby] songs for the second album. Mung has been very crafty and given
myself, Christine and Jel all the same songs - I suppose he'll be able to pick
and choose from a range of what we throw at him! What is [Bilby]? Check out the
website... Must get to South Gippsland to water the garden for my dad who is on
a week away on a boat on the Murray River. The Humber and I will sally forth
this afternoon....having Monday's off was an inspired decision.....

Floods. And Flooding.

Spent the last three days up at Mt Macedon at the first national conference on
flooding that Australia has had for ten years. Despite the fact that it sounds
about as interesting as watching paint dry, it was a lot more intriguing than I
thought it would be. Australia's flood management and education seems to be very haphazard, without any national body to direct it and nobody taking
responsibility for any attempted flash flood warnings. All very reassuring.
However, the food was awesome and the grounds of Emergency Management Australia rival the Melbourne Botanical Gardens - divine. It was sad that I spent the whole three days with the flu sitting in my ears (which kept dropping in and
out) and my throat, which just throbbed steadily enough to make itself known.
Thank god it's Saturday!!

And Gallop....

Today I wished I bet on the races :o( Thoat is sore.

I Flu Away

Here cometh the flu. I woke up and had all the vocal characteristics of a chain
smoking porn star. So I jogged around the oval. Twice. And walked around it
three times. Hello to Claire, my only visitor as of yet, for this site is a
secret until it is built properly. I'm thinking of including a list of what I'm
currently reading. I like it when other people do that. Today is the day before
the Melbourne Cup. I really do have to learn how to put money on a horse.
Christine knows all that stuff. BTW, the Davitt Awards sucked big time. The only
good bit was that Carolyn Moorwood won, and so did Kerry Greenwood. The night
was over priced, over long and overly boring......grrrr. It's Monday.

Sushi is Exciting.

Just had lunch and am full of Japanese bought for me by my dad. I am such a
non-exciting person. The only Japanese I have ever eaten is sushi boxes,
california rolls and Rachaels lush tempura vegetables....*sigh* Japanese is yem.
Unfortuately, as I stayed up so late last night toiling with indecent pleasure
on [m i a o w] said the cat and you could use my eyebags to go shopping with. I
cannot go home and rest however, as I am doing a cultural thing. Yes - Sisters
in Crime Davitt Awards. All forty dollars of it!!

Pieces of Toast

You know who you are. I keep meeting lovely people and then changing jobs etc. It's way too easy to lose track of cool people. I thought that if I made this page sort of useful (dates, time, links) plus kept it regularly updated (now I have a kickass connection that I am on pretty much daily), then it would be a good way to stay in touch. Once I figure it out, people will be able to post to the page as well, letting everyone know about how many pieces of toast they ate yesterday and other similarly riveting facts..... Actually, none of you will be reading this today, of for a few more days, as I am trying to sort out the page and get it looking how I want - which could take a large portion of forever.....