B: I have a terrible craving for steak
M: (muses) Mmm, we don’t eat much protein…what about some sausages for lunch?
B: (gags) I think they have more dog than protein.
B: (baaing) Leeee-sah, I thought you laaahved me….
M: Well, you did eat eggs last night – they have protein.
B: But I read that you need to eat stuff that either swims, runs or flies…(ponders) a recently submerged flying kanagroo would seem to be the best option.
M: (humours her with some lacklustre laughter)
B: OK then. How about some beer.
M: …and bread?
Category: Food (Page 3 of 27)
B: I have a terrible craving for steak
Last night after work (stoked up on a couple of G&T’s with Pegs DeLeur and having realised that my pay had come through – you’ll be happy about that Mr Honeybone as I can shout you lunch today) I went to the supermarket on the way back to Casa del B-star [cool dwelling terminology borrowed from missjenjen) and was stunned.
I had forgotten a few things;
1) what it is like to shop surrounded by a plethora of ‘cool’ people
2) what it is like to shop in a supermarket that has Variety
I swear, I walked into the Coles in Balaclava and there were film extras waiting in the register queues. Groovy looking girls with their rumpled inner-city boyfriends, girls with their girlfriends, boys with their boyfriends, old Jewish men and snappy looking kids. Where have I been living!!? Hervey Bay. Where soy sauce is a strange, foreign, hippy kind of condiment and there is no olive dip. Where people boggle at you when, having finally located some tofu hiding at the back of the cheese section, you actually go ahead and buy it.
Last time I was in Melbourne Ellise introduced me to the wonder that is olive dip. Since then I have searched in every supermarket in Hervey Bay and have been forced to exit empty handed. So I’m wandering along the
cool refridgerated section of Coles last night, dodging and weaving among all these strangely interesting sort of people (I’m sure they’re only interesting because I haven’t been here for a while) and I am almost smacked in the eyeball by olive dip. Lite Olive Dip. Creamed Olive Dip. Olive Dip. Couldn’t believe it. Then there was the chunky basil and pinenut dip, alongside their olive and sundried tomato equivalent. I was in heaven. I didn’t buy any, but that’s not the point. It was there. If I had wanted to spend $4.00 on olive dip – I could have. Instead I took a punt and bought a $5.00 tub of mushroom, leek and pinenut risotto. I was quite prepared for it to be vile, but the possibility of finding readymade risotto that might fulfil me was too exciting to pass up. It rocked my world. Guess what I’m going to be having for dinner for the next two weeks?
Despite sharing a house for several years with Christine, purveyor of all things parma – I personally have never consumed/nibbled someone elses/ordered at the pub a Chicken Parmagiana – I even just had to look up how to spell it! So anyway, I just got emailed SEARCH FOR A SUPER PARMA 2002-03 – a seminal and must-have piece of literature for parma-inclined people in Victoria, Australia. The publication is an exhaustive investigation of ‘the best Chicken Parmagiana that Southern Australia can produce’ conducted and judged by authorities both ‘highly critical and carrying university educations in Parmology’.
So where can you get it? It comes in PDF format (which means, nuffies, you’ll need Acrobat Reader, which you can download here if you can be bothered).
Download SEARCH FOR A SUPER PARMA 2002-03.
Oh – and I would also assume this would be a great guide for where to take your relatives when they drop in unexpectedly from the UK…
[David – ‘my sister called, she’s arriving on Friday…help.’]
On further examination I’m finding it quite bizarre that the place where I had my 21st Birthday is highest on the ratings list. Did I miss something?
After very nearly reaching the end of my tether in Melbourne I finally made it home on Wednesday afternoon. The last day in the office for a month or two is always fairly fraught, and Tuesday was true to form. I had to check out the Super-8 video clip (that doesn’t sound right) for Cheese over at Dylans and agree on a final cut. Dylan was very nice and drove me to my mum’s where I aimed to clear out my gear and get to my sisters place where I was staying the night. But I was greeted by the familiar sight of my mother, sniffling dramatically from the cold ‘I gave her’ and wringing her hands over her unresponsive printer. *sigh* After 30 minutes spent in a frenzy of reinstalling the printer drivers and packing I was seriously frazzled and headed to Williamstown.
Oh wondrous family. I’d missed dinner – but for once it was to my definite advantage. My dad (glory glory) had bought oysters and there were eight EIGHT left for me. So I ate them. Lasciviously. And it got better. My sister had made a kind of berry/plum compote crumble kind of thing that almost made me weep. It was made from blackberries, plums and pears from my dad’s country hideaway. So I ate it. And licked the bowl.
Then in the dark hours of the morning (daylight saving ends next week and Queensland is again in sync with Victoria…yay) me, my dad and the huntsman in his Cressida drove to the airport, where I had a final Chai Latte before boarding. Oh how I hate to fly. Then I enetered the now well worn trail of Brisbane Airport, Brisbane AirTrain, Roma Street Station and the Tilt Train… From Melbourne to Brisbane I worked on raising my literary credibility and read (for the first time) Catcher in the Rye which I had thought would be much longer than it was. Thank god the train showed Finding Nemo to drown out the last 90 minutes of my seemingly endless journey. It’s so nice to be home. Pesto for dinner, cats are happy, back in my own bed and M has done wonderful things to the kitchen. Bliss.
Mow – Relaxed about my Return
Saf – Limp with Relief