With ten minutes warning I threw the Smalls into mum’s car and they followed me as I drove down to the boatyard to see the Very Large Catamaran emerge from it’s home in the shed. All went very smoothly. My excitement has been somewhat tempered by M’s mood when he got home tonight.
This has led to my first real crisis of confidence in what we are doing. In three days we don’t have our house anymore. Tomorrow we give away our chickens and our bed. Everything remains mayhem – M has been working 14 hour days at the boat and I have been doing the house on my own.
Quite honestly, my resolve has not wavered until now. And I had nearly assumed I would get through this blithely. But it is hard to jump into space. And it is harder when things pan out differently to what you expect. The main thing? I have to keep a strong stout heart for the Smalls. If I fall to bits, they will follow. They trust that this is a big adventure.
Obviously the easiest course in the world would be to stay put in our safe little house in the place where we know our librarians, greengrocers, cafe-owners, health food shop ladies – but up until tonight I’ve been invigorated by the fact that we are Making A Change. But now I can’t sleep. My bounce has left the building.
The boat is not really ready to move aboard – M needs to put ropes around it to make it Smalll-safe – he would be able to do that and a few other things if we didn’t have all this stuff to do at the house. Therefore I have told the Smalls I am taking them camping – holidaying for a few days – after we move out, and that will give M the opportunity to get a few things organised in our absence.
Send me positivity. I’m wobbly.