Despite the fact that I busted my arse packing all the food for our six nights away in the caravan, I got glutened. In a Big Fat Gluteny way. What is REALLY annoying is that I don’t know how it happened. I did buy three Vietnamese spring rolls to eat at the main stage of the folk festival one day – they were supposedly gluten free. I did let other people share our hommus dip – but I was sure we were all using gluten free crackers. Whatever it was, I think it must have been a LOT, because it has pretty much laid waste to the past two weeks…
This was my first big glutening 🙁 It began as it had on another minor occasion – with desperate unquenchable thirst. All of my skin was like a desert. My lips cracked. I got three coldsores. Brain fog. And then the mood stuff hit me. I can’t even. Like the pinnacle of the worst PMS – I had no tether. The poor Smalls. I did screaming, I did throwing, I did prolonged sobbing. I felt like some crazy person was inhabiting my body 🙁
There is good evidence now that the gut and the psyche are inextricably linked, so really, the whole episode should not have been a surprise, but… WOAH! It was so extreme. And topped off by debilitating first-trimesterish fatigue. I have been drinking coffee regularly, because tea was just not cutting it. Coffee hasn’t done much either though, and just makes me feel more dehydrated than ever.
So it has really knocked me around for just under three weeks. It’s a bloody good lesson in becoming more vigilant, if just for the sanity of my own little family 🙁 I have cried at work, I have cried at the chemist, I have cried with Small DB patting me gently. I have made both Smalls cry by being a really horrible parent – and that too is more fuel for my gluten vigilance. I don’t want this to happen again. Ever.
Have I mentioned that once it is possible to buy a handheld spectrometer, I will move hell and high water to get one? How amazing would it be to laser what is on your plate and find out if the food is contaminated? There is such a huge level of trust involved in buying food – both at cafes and for home use. I buy through a co-op and get stuff like bulk buckwheat flour, cacao, tapioca – and I have been told they are all gluten free – but to know unequivocally would just take the pressure off. Sometimes it just feels like I am blind and hopeful. I don’t know if any of that stuff might have tiny contaminations that are doing me (and Small Z) damage.
And while we’re on the subject, I have been giving Small DB gluten every day. Quite honestly, she has been under the weather the whole time. I am so worried that she HAS coeliac disease and that I am poisoning her little body. On the other hand, I feel like I need a definitive answer, and so she needs to ingest it every day for at least a month in order to have the blood tests. Gah to it all.