A whine while I wait to drink some. The first night. THE FIRST NIGHT.
In over a month that I have had some peace and quiet at 7pm. The Smalls have become increasingly nocturnal. Small Z has been pushing towards 10pm, while Small DB is still in that weird transition where she needs to nap, but won’t – and then every few days conks out on the way to/from somewhere at 4pm, sleeps an hour and then parties until 11pm – having started a Brand New Day.
And there…there I have described my blogging absence in one overly long sentence. It has been driving me out of my mind. I am becoming so irritated (again) by the huge amount of writing I do for my work two days a week (at least 12 hours solid) and how little of my own I can get done.
I am not someone who can sit amongst the screamadelica of domesticity and write in any meaningful pithy fashion. On trains, in libraries, in cafes…fine – but with potential constant interruptions to get drinks, save lives, sticky-tape things back together…I just can’t do it.
And those half hour grabs where they watch the favourite show of the moment? Merely a chance to invent some dinner, find the floor or bring in the washing. You might think that this indicates that writing is not a priority. You’d be wrong.
So I’m grasping this opportunity with both hands to whinge about not being able to whinge online. Because that makes sooooo much sense! Not.
I have literally lost almost a month here (except for my write-up of The Wedding Present gig, done with love in my heart and tea on my lips as I took the train into work the following morning). In that time there has been heartbreak for one of my very close friends, a homeschooling camping trip, lots of trips to the beach and my own worries about someone close to me about whom I am Not Allowed To Type.
That last issue has left me feeling very bottled up and is so much on my mind that I find it hard to write about other less important things. But I must. I feel this awful nagging when I have left writing here for so long – the longer I leave it, the harder it becomes There must be some way of prioritising so I can do it – but with sleepless children and the fact that M gets home rather late…it has felt impossible.
Tonight will be used to put up some posts, new and old – possibly sew a caravan curtain – and eat some popcorn. Small Z is at my mother’s and Small DB (dare I type it?) is sleeping…
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