M was in the library with the Smalls yesterday while I was working. He said Small DB was happily pulling books from every conceivable shelf and throwing them asunder. Small Z was browsing a few shelves along in the bigger kid section. M was reading when Small Z’s little voice began to filter into his consciousness…

…and in order to make a baby the man and the woman love each other very much. They lie close together. The man puts his penis PENIS! – it says PENIS! into the woman’s va-GINA. Vagina. VAGINA! They have sex…

It was these last three words that sent M springing into action. He had been standing, mouth open unable to move, but the sound of his three-and-a-half year old reading the word ‘sex’ aloud gave him wings. He flew around the shelves and tried to distract her, but she gave him the book and said, “Can you read this to me from the very start?”

M said he flailed about at bit and eventually convinced her that it was time to go somewhere important (like the park). It’s lucky that he heard her at all really, his hearing is fairly shot from all those years of rawk and roll…