Today my mother, who has been coming every Wednesday morning and staying over in the caravan that night – donating at least a day and a half to helping me with the two little ones, made her exit. Not for good! But still… she’s heading off on a trip that includes a 12 day cruise on something that looks less like a ship than a floating metropolis.

I am aghast. Wednesdays and half of Thursdays are my islands – not of sanity exactly, but some respite from feeling almost constantly torn between Small Z, Small DB and my almost constant desire to decamp to a tropical island nap. Anyway, now I’m back in the real world – although I do have far more flexibility with M being around than a lot of people whose partners work fulltime. Thing is, every hour he is not at that boat, the longer the BOAT as a HUGE HULKING ENTITY, weighs down upon us.

So yeah. Next Thursday morning, when Small Z pops up out of bed for the day, I won’t be able to tell her to trot out to the caravan where her Nana will read her inumerable books before breakfast. Because that Nana will be swanning around some buffet in the middle of some far distant sea. For almost a MONTH. Poor Small Z has already asked on several occasions when she will be back, and I had to show her the picture of the ship to remind her.

This is all bringing into my mind what is going to happen when I go back to work. The LAST thing I want to do is drag M away from the boat, but I don’t want to lumber the help (i.e. my mother) with TWO children. That’s a bit much. I remember all too clearly how hard things were when I went back to working two days a week from home when Small Z was three months. It nearly killed me – I had thought it would be such a breeze. FAIL. Anyway, I need to stop arseing around and decide what it is I’m going to do – Family Day Care? Three year old kinder? Neither? My head hurts… Hurry home mum!