m i a o w

–YOU KNOW YOU KNEAD IT–

And repeat, and repeat

Here I am again. At the other end (hopefully) of a non-posting period which inevitably indicates I am finding life too frenetic or demanding to get near my computer for anything other than work. My frustration builds accordingly. I don’t know what I would do without my iPhone, which I use to take photos that then jog my brain about what has been going on.

The past ten days have seen a camping trip, a sailing adventure, a diagnosis of a herniated disc (mine), some sort of leg injury (M’s), and Small Z surfing the waves of some major developmental curve (a polite way of saying that she has been having tantrums, using longer and longer words, having broken sleep and is usually attached to me like glue with no one else being good enough).

My sanity appears to be hinging on the amount of sleep I get. Let me put it this way. If Small Z does not have a daytime nap, we are ruined. I tend to have a powernap while she goes to sleep and this gets me sanely through the rest of the day. Without this and with the addition of a grumpy two-year-old, things can get dire. This pregnancy is NOT like the last. I am not fit and it is starting to bite. Last time I was either walking for at least 30 minutes a day, riding an exercise bike or doing yoga. This time? Nothing. And my walking is now limited by my freaky back thing.

The back thing would have made a post on its own if I had any time to do it. I don’t. I apparently have a herniated L5 disc that is causing numbness in my left calf, foot and big toe. Hardly any pain though, so it’s easy to be a little blase. I am supposed to avoid bending, lifting and twisting – the three things that I seem to spend the most time doing. Half the time if feels like I am wading through things on the floor that need to be picked up. Small Z has been mostly tolerant of my refusal to carry her around, but has become increasingly clingy – demanding that I ‘feed’ her and giving me lots of kisses. She has grown up in a big developmental spurt over the past month and has started coming out with crazy things:

I will drink the Milky Way through a lightning straw and eat the cloud with a thunder spoon.

That number should not be eleven it should be one-teen.

She has also become a rhyming goddess, egged on by M and I, and our love of our latest favourite kids book Down The Back of The Chair by Margaret Mahy and Polly Dunbar. She is obsessed with conger eels ‘It feels UNREAL to be a conger eel!’ and a fish she saw in a picture called a Moon Wrasse.

Anyway, with all this going on, I have no time to do a thing for myself. I do not get the opportunity to blog – and this is what I find most frustrating of all. My brain is so mushy that I really rely on my posts to remind me of what I’ve been up to. I feel like experiences and memories are slipping through my fingers because I’m just too tired to post them. It is 10.30pm right now, Small Z would not sleep until 9.10pm and I know I should have slept then as well but I just NEEDED A POCKET OF TIME!! The only use my computer has had in the past week has been for work. Any intermittent Facebook comments I might make are done via my iPhone….

So yeah. I’m fried. Things are hard. The hour is late. I am an itchy and irritated Minke Whale. M has said that I can have Tuesdays as mental health days – and I did this yesterday – but I had so much administrative crud to get through that I didn’t get a chance to write ANYTHING here. Gah. Double gah to the gah. How am I going to fit a second baby into this swirl and leave my sanity intact!?

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3 Comments

  1. Ian

    Hi Minke Beth πŸ˜‰ – just letting u know we are surfing the developmental wave with you (& getting the occasional dumping). That books looks good, you should also probably consider this (I know M will get a kick out of it!):http://www.girl.com.au/the-boy-who-built-the-boat.htm. May sleep treat you well…come up north – the sunshine is damn fine!

  2. Sam

    Eek. I hear ya. Stuggles here too. Time speeds, workstuff is spectacularly crazy, administrivia reigns and my small free time is spent salvaging my brain from its daily disintegration to fairyfloss. Keep taking photos and making notes… the crap will eventually clear. Least that’s what I tell myself! Good luck with the back too. I’m not sure what a herniated disc is but I meant to tell you I have some good exercises for hip/back pain … I can email you if you like.

  3. beth

    @ian – glad to know you are there with us!! I keep waiting for the sale flights to Ballina!! The thought of the extra time it takes to get down from Brisbane or Gold Coast with cranky Z makes me pale… And that book!! I borrowed it from library last week!! Great minds, etc. etc.

    @sam – it’s exhausting trying to rise above the sludge. Can’t figure out what’s changed except now I have to nap when the Z naps or I am wreck – and this removes VALUABLE me time. As does her late going to bed hour. [bangs head on wall]. I tried a few yoga exercises – left leg is limited i.e. can’t sit with legs crossed… if you have a chance to send through any exercises though I’ll give them a go. Have been trying to walk around the block (or equivalent) once a day…

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