m i a o w


VOIP. Take three.

Uh oh. My ‘magic voip’? The phone that worked by the power of my all abidingly good karma and little else? The logical explanation for its magical wonder became apparent this morning when I answered a call from a woman who sounded like she was restraining herself from being very rude. She said;

“Why are you answering my home phone number?”


“I’m calling my husband at home and he’s not answering and now you’ve just answered… I called his mobile and he’s at home. Do you know what’s going on?”

[My brain clicks into gear and I barely stop myself from shrieking D’oh!! D’oh!!!]

“Ah,” I say carefully. “How weird. What actually is your home number?”

She tells me and it sounds very familiar to the one I gave to Mr H last night while wittering…I don’t trust it but this appears to be our new phone number! I think the term is JINXED IT? Just mildly. She says she works for a telco and there has obviously been a problem with ‘provisioning’ and reels off some other impressive words that I fail to understand. She sounds like someone who works for a telco.

“Our number is a data number, a VOIP number – it’s not the normal phone line,” she says.

“Oh. I think that’s what ours is too. But we haven’t lived here very long and hardly ever use the number, soooo…”

“How long have you had the phone on?”

“Oh,” I say, sounding increasingly vague, “Probably just a week or two. Who’s your phone actually with?”

She clinches it. “iPrimus.”

Fuck it.

“What about you?”

For some reason I don’t lie, but I don’t think it matters. “Exetel.”

“Well there’s obviously been some doubling up and both of them need to be notified so we can sort this out….”

She continues in that vein for a while as I make the appropriate responses. We hang up after I assure her that I can call her back as I now have her mobile number on her phone. Thankfully, she doesn’t ask for mine. I run to the study and yank the power out of the VOIP box. Goddamnit, I knew magic VOIP was too good to be true.

Obviously she has forgotten, or her husband has neglected to tell her, that her whole former iPrimus VOIP rig has gone to the op-shop with all the settings still intact. So, was someone getting billed for my calls? Yes. Luckily I haven’t had a chance to call Small Brother in New York or Utah or LA or wherever he happens to be at present. Of course, they will probably be able to find out who I called using their number, but I doubt it will amount to more than 50 cents in calls.

If I had been able to get into the administrator section of the SPA2100 I would have realised this and been able to set it up for Pennytel or whoever. I may have a few more tries, but I am getting weary and my geekness in this realm is fairly limited and definitely doesn’t stretch as far as this


Axel Turns Two


Birthday Jubilee


  1. Mr H

    Back to email.

  2. Dennis

    Next time, I won’t resist the urge to comment along the lines of…

    “Errm, you’re using some one elses account”

    Sorry, in hindsight I should have mentioned it.

  3. beth

    Dennis, there are many urges I might suggest you resist, but that one would not have been one of them. Gah. Gah again. So now I have two locked VOIP boxes – if you wanna unlock BOTH you can have one (because I know you *really* need one).

  4. The Relics

    This is not the right area but, well, dammit….I don’t know where the right area is! So this’ll do I guess. Just as well we read your blog every here and there!

    How come we are the last people in your world to know of your delicious “Pikelet State?”

    Congratulations again to you both.

    And when is the Pikelet’s time to be cooked, may one/two ask?

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