[m i a o w] the cat

Drawn back to blogging by bum related hysteria. For almost as long as we’ve been knocking around together, the name of M’s bum has been Alan. Yes. On one occasion while he was away on tour with Augie March in Coolum, he drunkenly confided this to all and sundry and I was telephoned by someone called Declan who was gasping with laughter and desperate for corroboration. I corroborated. I probably would have done more than that if requested, his accent was exceptionally attractive.

Tonight, M stripped off in the kitchen and did a nudie dance prior to getting in the bath with Small Z. She shrieked with delight;

“DADDA has a SWINGING PENIS!!!”

M then had the taste for performing, and showed off;

“Dadda’s SWINGING ELBOWS.”

His swinging eyebrows…and finally…

“DADDA has a SWINGING BUM. His BUM is SWINGING!!”

Yes, I told her. Have I told you that Dadda’s bum’s name is Alan?”

“Al-lan?”

“Alan.”

“Ahhhh,” she made her appreciative noise, “Alan. ALAN. What’s the swinging penis’s name?”

I choked. M, of course, did not miss a beat. “My penis,” he said, wagging it, “Is known as HUMUNGO.”

“Who-mungo?”