Dear Small Brother,
You left today to go back to bloody London, where you will be for another few months before relocating to bloody New York – an equally distant location [sigh]. It was fun having you here, though arguably, we probably had more fun last time on our sailing adventure and city holiday. However, baby wrangling is the current priority – and you were surprisingly good at it. You didn’t earn the title of Spare Parent by just buying M a slab of Coopers (although you probably could’ve…)

There were a surfeit of hot, disgusting days during your visit, which was somewhat unfair. Particularly for me, as I was unable to drown them in gin and tonics. I remember this time last year that the weather was far more accommodating. Oh. Glad you liked tooling around in my car!

Just after you left, with the trailer under a pall of gloom, I was putting away a pair of shorts that I’d put in storage for about ten months. In the pocket was a receipt for a pair of jeans I bought that day that you, M and I cycled from the boat to the Collingwood Children’s Farm – the previous night, M had retrieved his bike from the bottom of the harbour using the anchor. By the time we were halfway there, we noted that M’s bum had become a soggy, wet browned thing. The bike seat had not dried out from it’s deep sea dive.

We refused to go to a children’s farm with someone with a butt like a very suspect pond dweller and took M into the big op-shop on the river in Abbotsford. We made him buy more shorts. I also bought a pair of jeans. It was exactly a year ago that I found the receipt for them in my pocket. I tried to look up what else we had got up to and am horrified to realise that it never made it to [miaow] – yet another task for the person who is someone else’s food source and has eyebags you could use to buy in bulk.

We here at the Trailer hope your flight was good, and we also hope that you make it back before the end of the year, at which time PartyPie will be able to run toward you shrieking “Oh! Greetings and salutations Spare Parent. I have been missing you in my own small way. Did you bring me more presents then?”

I will coach her assiduously in your absence.

May your nose not freeze and your lager be plentiful. Come back soon!

Love,
The Elder Sibling