[m i a o w] the cat

M has been being a very supportive and useful member of Trailerland. Which is why, the other morning when he rolled over in bed and enquired sweetly as to whether I had slept well (because I have an alien in me that has just topped two kilograms in weight - of course I am sleeping like the proverbial. NOT.) he did not expect the conversation to proceed quite so abruptly. Instead of a warm sleepy murmur, he got:

“GRAB MY FOOT, GRAB MY FOOT! GRAB. MY. FOOT.”

“Wha…”

I waved it dangerously near his face. (I may be a Minke whale, but they can move fast when needed.) “Grab it!! GRAB it!! CRAMP! CRAMP!!”

M grabbed the foot and poked it hopefully.

“PULL MY TOES BACK.”

“Like this?”

“HARDER. HARDER. OK. Do my toes still look all deformed?”

“Um…”

“Don’t answer that. Pull them back one more time. Thank you. Oh my god. It’s gone.”

I subsided back into my extensive collection of pillows and M lay stunned, shaking his head gently and pondering the ceiling. I think both of us were thinking the same thing… “This stuff will all go away in a month and a half. Right? Right?“