Dear Small Brother,
It has been some time between chats. I have not been driving your car of late, the ignition hanging from several wires started to get me down. Also, I began to wonder whether it was actually designed for a tall person – swinging my arse so close to the ground to get in and out started to get a bit old. I’m feeling generally traitorous – with the coming of Spring my thoughts have turned, finally, toward a new set of wheels. I test drove another Humber today, but it didn’t really cut the English mustard.
So, you’ve caught Pearl Jam in Barcelona and spent a good eight days in Ibiza since I heard from you last. I mention these things to M and see a little furrow form on his brow as he begins to worry that my trailer life will pall in comparison to your exciting European Travails. However, the truth is that I tend to hope that my trailer life could be even a little bit more boring, if only so I could spend more time on my caravan and actually record some music. Having a dedicated digital audio workstation that hasn’t been used since we moved here provides a small but delightfully immovable block of guilt that sits just near my left shoulder. Also, my new Macbook appears to need a RAM upgrade in order to function with any sense of ZIP! – which seems a bit unfair, considering what it cost to start with. Gah.
Was sorry to hear you missed the chance to hang out with U2 and Green Day at the pub, and hope you are not CAVORTING somewhere FRIVOLOUS next time the opportunity arises. There are certain responsibilities that come with being my Small Brother, and this is most definitely one of them. If you ever plan to get around to sending me your old phone, I would be more than appreciative, as the last one you sent has taken to becoming very sluggish of a morning. And the colder the morning, the longer it takes to wake up – I expect that it will soon request its own electric blanket.
My Macbook has asked me to tell you that it would also really like to meet your IPod Nano if you insist on saying things like “I haven’t used it for ages – but it looks so cool!”
In winding up I have to say that I hope that you will get around to visiting the trailer (AFTER I have finished renovating the caravan), although I have to point out that there not many similarities between the trailer and Ibiza. Eddie Vedder hasn’t dropped by recently either. Otherwise, let me know if you’re going to haul yourself to Hawaii and I’ll try and stowaway and meet up with you there. Thief sends his regard from behind a Coopers Pale Ale on the couch.
P.S This post disappeared for a while as it caused relationship friction. Note to the World: I LIKE LIVING IN A TRAILER AND WORKING THREE DAYS A WEEK WHILE M BUILDS A LUXURY CATAMARAN. Is that clear enough? I wouldn’t want the Internet to think I had been forced to live in a trailer somewhere near Cranbourne against my WILL or anything. I trust that the Internet
a) knows me better than that;
b) doesn’t give a toss anyway; or
c) realises I don’t care what it thinks, thus rendering both a) and b) null and void. Is that clear enough? Gah.