[m i a o w] the cat

I am bleary eyed, having stayed up late the past two nights on the most fruitless task possible - networking my mother’s craptastic Win98 laptop (the DoorStop) to my lovely and excellent WinXp ThinkPad. Oh, the woe is so great. I’m using a crossover cable. All this to avoid having to install my external burner and Nero (or something) on to the DoorStop to back up my mothers email before I wipe the bloody thing. Gah. I’m going the burner route tonight, I have no more time to waste.

Yesterday was a full on day at work - my boss works in the city every now and again, and if I don’t have a file ready for him the day before to give him a hard copy, I have to email it through. So I’ve pounded out this file. He wanted it at noon, and I sent it off at twenty past. I used Dragon Naturally Speaking (when I’m not plotting how to kill it when it wilfully misunderstands me). My boss called me later that afternoon.

“You know that file you sent me today?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s just one issue with it - I’m not sure who this ‘Jackie’ is.”

“Jackie?” I begin to panic. “I don’t remember there being a Jackie.”

“Just do a ‘find’ in the word document.”

I’m already there, fumbling with the control key, searching for ‘Jackie’. I find this sentence…

He was able to gain a reflex erection, but there was no evidence of spontaneous and Jackie, making him in fertile.

“Oh my god.” I can hear my boss laughing down the phone.

“Ejaculation!!” I scream, no doubt to the joy of the people in the front office. “Ejaculation! Stupid Dragon Dictate.”

“Bye,” says my boss.

I sigh in response.

Later I find out that the person in question didn’t show for the appointment, leaving my boss with nothing to do. He is a man that really, really needs things to do, or he becomes bored and taunts his employees. Me.