m i a o w

–YOU KNOW YOU KNEAD IT–

Back Me Up

What is it with blokes and their backs? Not only do I hear of horror stories from work, and from my dad’s mate who is some magistrate in Adelaide who specialises (if not revels) in bizarro workplace accidents, I have actual contact with back-impaired people. And a back-impaired person is very closely related to a toothache impaired person. A few weeks back (sorry) my friend D was knocked for six when he got out of his car and his back decided that it was time to give up. It took a holiday. I am not a fount of anatomical knowledge, but I would make a guess and dangerously assume that the taller you are, the worse you are going to feel when your back packs up.

D is one of the loftier of my acquaintances. He ducks under doorways. So they had a bit of trouble fitting him into the ambulance, and eventually had to lift his feet while they quickly closed the doors. He then got left on a trolley all night in some forsaken emergency ward, but that’s another story.

M has also done his back while lifting my dad’s 5hp Tohatsu in or out of the van. I think it was at the tail end (sorry) of their Boy’s Own Adventure which consisted of taking Hoo-Ray! out on the wild seas over night. He returned home, liver more or less intact, with a gingerness that one does not usually associate with him. So ginger was he, that it began to feel better, whereupon he picked me up, literally, on Friday night and we both heard the sound of a drumstick being wrenched from a roast chicken as he gracefully collapsed to the floor.

Yesterday he was magicianed by an osteopath, and is much better. However, the osteopath warned him to lay of the heavy physical work, so he has proclaimed the coming week to be The Week of Soft Furnishings. That is, the cutting out of foam and sewing of Boat’s cushions.

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4 Comments

  1. I was about twenty when I first put my back out, and it was a revelation. I don’t remember what I was doing at the time, but all of a sudden I saw, in a way that had nothing to do with vision, a white flash, and the only thing I could do to change the prevailing physical conditions of that moment was to lie down and make my spine as striaght as possible. Since then I’ve only had a couple of episodes, but I’ll never forget that moment or the two or three others since. My sympathy for those with chronic troubles remains undiluted.

  2. My back remains good but shit does my bad knee give me issues. One bang out of sorts and now I can feel when it rains, have to be careful not to put all the weight on it and ignore the click-clack noises it makes when I move it back and forth.

  3. b:p

    Greg – I have had the same thing as you – I have stuffed up my back badly a few times, but not in the last six years or so. The time I really did it badly just walking up a kerb was torture. Ugh.
    kartar – can you start a blog called ‘The Weather According to My Knee’?

  4. Only trouble with the website is that I seem to be only able to predict the weather in Uzbekistan.

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