[m i a o w] the cat

I have The Guilt. Almost constantly. The guilt that I haven’t called M’s mother since I’ve been back. The guilt that I am a bad email correspondent. I hate these stupid nagging feelings that can make a whole day turn sour. I know I should have called M’s mother, but I haven’t. I call people for a reason, not just to say hello. But ‘hello’ should be reason enough. Gah. I have not made contact with my friends Claire and Marg - which is also inexcusable. I have written three very long letters to my Nan in Massachusetts over the past two months, so I’m feeling a bit better on that score. But generally, I have some persistent little pulse of remorse - the flipside of which is self-loathing. There. That’s my confession for the day. Tomorrow I jump out of the plane. I hope my bad karma doesn’t come and mess with the ripcord.