m i a o w


Month: July 2004 (Page 1 of 7)

Good Things & Visitors

Saw Cyndi Lauper perform Time After Time accompanying herself on dulcimer last night on 110%. She sounded (and looked) amazing! Would love to see one of her shows. The weather this morning is sublime – M has been sent for supplies because there is so little left in the cupboard that roast catleg is looking like a viable option. We have M’s great friend PGR and his daughter arriving late this afternoon (I hope it’s late because the house looks like it was recently subject to bombing by enemy forces) – M is so happy he is dancing around and making a million plans on where to drag these poor people. I think he’s in denial that they will only have two nights and one full day here.

I do endeavour not to be too much of a TV junkie, but Amanda Redman just does it for me. I loved her in At Home With The Braithwaites – and the pilot of New Tricks is screening tomorrow night. I will be a courteous hostly person and tape it. I am now going to do some work whilst simultaneously praying for some suicidal male mudcrabs to jump in the crabpots – purely to impress the guests.

Slow Learner

It’s the third time in about a month that I have moved from beer to red wine (and last night, back to beer). Maybe I’m not learning because I’m destroying the specific brain cells that deal with retaining important information? Whatever the case, I lay away last night cursing the full moon, the incessant roosters and the noise of a hovering UFO. Finally could not cope with not knowing whether we were all going to be beamed up at any moment and poked M.
“Wake up, wake up.”
“Huh? Wassamattah?”
“Can you hear the UFO noise?”
“That low constant humming UFO noise. Can you hear it?”
M grunts. “It’s the fridge.”
I protest. “No, no. It’s coming from outside the house. It’s everywhere. It’s All Around Us. Can you hear it?”
M is beaten. He gets out of bed. He puts on pants (which instantly reminds me that we have house guests and they may be beamed up also – something that their respective wives and mother would have trouble forgiving). I hear him pad out toward the fridge and turn it off at the wall. The UFO noise persists. Now he’s interested. I hear him go out the back door and for a while everything is quiet, apart from the UFO.
Great. M is going to get anally probed by aliens and they’re going to send back a clone in his place. I hope that it can cook as well as he can. I hear the back door close. M comes back to bed. At least, I think it’s M – he’s colder than when he got up – but that’s to be expected. He’s not tinted green.
“What happened?” I squeak.
“I wish you hadn’t told me about it. I couldn’t hear it ’til you told me about it. And now, in the immortal words of Ms. Kylie Minogue, I just can’t get it out of my head.” [OK, so he didn’t really make that pop-culture reference – but he did unintentionally say the song title. I have poetic license.] I sigh. “Well is there a big fat silver disc hovering over our house, or did you find something else that’s making the noise?”
M is drowsy. “I don’t think it’s a UFO – I think it’s a trawler or something.”
A rooster does it’s thing. It’s about 2am. My head hurts.

Squash It All In

Our good friends PGR & Al were a welcome addition to our household – but it was for such a Short Time! On the morning after the UFO noise everyone but me headed out (without breakfast) on a fishing expedition, which ended up including a bollocking from the facist at the end of the street, who in turn was bollocked on a royal scale by ShutUpAndStopIt and his mate from next door. Fifteen bream were caught, Al almost got friendly with a shark and filled her gumboots (my gumboots actually) …with water. They all came home beside themselves with excitement, and we had bream cooked over the fire for breakfast – except for Al who is anti-fish – she just likes to catch them.
We headed out at about noon in a little boat borrowed from M’s brother-in-law. It was all v.exciting – we stopped on an island and I played photographer while everyone went for a swim.

Please believe me - my thighs are truly not as big as they look here!

Then we took off again with our little 20hp Chrysler and after cruising around for a while, we dropped anchor and began fishing. It was fish city out there! Al and I caught lots of undersize ones, M did not too badly, but PGR was crowned Fish Man for catching a mofo snapper. We came to the conclusion that we should have taken a ‘What Fish Is That?’ book with us, as we ended up returning a lot to the sea because we didn’t know what the hell they were.

We hauled the boat out and headed home in time for M and the guests to go and check the crab pots. No joy. But mudcrabs on top of all the fish we had for dinner might have just pushed the excitement level that bit too far. I wrapped up all the fish in foil with garlic, rosemary, butter, onion and lemon and also some potato and sweet potato. We chucked them all on the fire and had a few drinks until deciding they were ready. After dinner (I can’t believe how much we squashed into this day) we decided more wine was in order, and that the absence of any marshmallows could no longer be borne. It was v.luxurious to be driven into town by PGR in the hire car – we haven’t been able to venture out after dark for months, as the van headlights are notoriously unreliable.

Back around the fire we polished off the marshmallows and the wine; then M and I made the house guests watch the South Park episode we love, ‘Cat Orgy‘ and then forced them to watch our Super 8 film of the great flood of the garden that happened back in February. Then we finally let them go to bed. A grand day out!

Window Pain

Sometimes I think I am going to be trapped in Hervey Bay forever. More to the point, I feel like the guy who keeps pushing that stone but never gets to the top of the hill. This house is never going to be ready to sell – even getting it up to scratch to claim the money back that the bank owes us is taking ages. I got up this morning, stout of heart and spritely of step, to see how many windows I could get done i.e. remove the five panes of glass from each window, sand the frame, paint it outside and in, clean the glass of old paint smeared on by former occupants, put glass back in windows with new putty.

How many did I get done? Not even a pair. Taking the glass out took me so long, that the furthest I got in the whole scheme of things was removing the glass from three separate windows (fifteen panes), sanding two window frames and painting the outsides. *Sigh* It seems never ending. My tail had very little wag left by the end of the day. However tomorrow I will work quicker, now that I’m a bit surer of what I’m doing.

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