[m i a o w] the cat

I am losing the plot. Have a million things to do. Hand washing (that would be clothes not repetitively drenching my digits) that I’ve put off since I got back, the kitchen is breeding it’s own new lifeforms and it’s M’s mothers birthday tomorrow. We are going to dinner at his sisters tonight. As our lack of finance situation is still fully fledged, I had the Bright Idea of heading to the bottle shop, buying an $11 hipflask bottle of Johnny Walker Red Label, coming home and siphoning it into my empty bottle of 10 year old Balvenie Single Malt (thank god I kept the tube it came in) given to me by my boss for my birthday somewhere over Singapore.
Yes, it was as tasty as it looks. It makes JW Red Label tast like swill.
I feel no shame. She can’t taste most things. We have no cash. Faking it is totally the way to go. So I can now continue on with my stupid report with a slightly less heavy heart - some days I completely loathe my job, and this is one of them. I have reached a point where I’m trying to summarise a particular presentation, and I repeatedly read the paper in question up to the third paragraph and then my brain goes into a ‘ALERT ALERT too-much-academic-speak-help-me-to-help-you-not-slide-off-your-chair’ kind of trance and I have to shake myself and start all over again. I’m dealing with sentences like:
‘the formulation of a conceptual framework to analyse the likely outcomes resulting from the better use of…’
and:
‘It is important to recognize the on-going continuous improvement that is likely to take place over time with respect to…As a result of these continuous improvement of overall services aimed at…’

Etcetera, etcetera. Only Balvenie can help me now. Bugger.

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COMMENTS / ONE COMMENT

You should try doing commercial work for academics. Combine sales speak with academic dribble and you get my job - translating it into something both sides can understand. God some days I actually want to kill people - usually ones with Professor in front of their names.