What is worse than people you have very little in common with dropping over for a ‘chat’? Having them drop over twice. Once in the morning, and once just after dark when you’re about to jump in the shower. I blame M’s occasional similarity to a labrador. He met up with the guy – they live nearby – and was obviously so friendly that this guy and his wife then decided to drop over at least once every couple of days. Usually M’s ability to meet people is something that I admire about him, but occasionally….
After getting all hot and dirty raking up grass, all I wanted to do was kick back, have dinner (that I provided – I caught two bream before breakfast!) and hit the Hervey Bay nightlife. The couch. But it was not to be. I came in the back door and heard the ‘drop ins’ talking out the front. I took immediate evasive action. I hit the shower. I stayed in the shower – regardless of our dropping tank level, until I was pruney. They hadn’t left. M had let them inside and they were sitting in the kitchen. When I finally emerged, I felt instantly bastardly as they gave me a huge bag of lollies. But then, as M prepared dinner and we’d all finished our cups of tea – they remained. Unmoving. So I excused myself, saying I’d promised to call my mum. And spent the next ten minutes talking into a dead phone. Came back out. They still hadn’t moved. M was still cooking around them, looking a little desperate. He’d asked them if they wanted dinner – they didn’t. I began to get to the end of my tether; I wanted SPACE and I wanted a quiet dinner with M. I wasn’t getting either.
I sneaked out into the front room and used my mobile to make the landline ring. I answered it and conducted another long one sided conversation with the dialtone. Came back. They’d moved to the table. M and I proceeded to sit opposite them and eat our bowls of tom yum soup while they watched. And continued talking. I kicked M under the table. He kicked me back. We finished our soup. It was impossible to insinuate to these people that we’d like them to leave. Finally, finally – after I mentioned that I wanted to get an early night for the third time, and that I really had to get some work done, they began to edge toward the door. It took another 15 minutes for them to go through it. As the noise of their car disappeared into the distance I lay prone on the floor. Sometimes I wish M was more like me – an anti-social cow – and then we wouldn’t get tortured by people who don’t know when to leave.