I used to very much like a band called Half Man, Half Biscuit - who I think hailed from Leeds. Or was that The Wedding Present? Anyway - today I was hit by the depth of desciption that can be provided by those four words:

Whatever word you slot in there, finishes the phrase and in doing so creates a perfect encapsulated description of someone. Obviously male (don’t blame me, blame the band). So, to flesh out my little four word description theory - even though it will be patently un-necessary once you’ve actually read it - here is some background information from whence it evolved:

• The man who uses tea towels and toilet paper to aid him in every possible nuance of renovation, yet feigns disbelief when confronted on the subject
• The man who makes cups of tea for others in need with care, precision and regularity
• The man who throws out the kitchen sponge after washing up, regardless of the fact that the house is now, and will be until we drive ten kilometres to the shop, spongeless
• The man who is aware of the valuable relationship points to be gained from making the bed in the morning and random acts of affection
• The man who, when presented with the question “How necessary is it to build a wine rack into the kitchen when we still have to put in the powerpoints, glass the windows, demolish the asbestos laden carport, wash the entire house, paint it and then get stuck into the garden of which there is an acre…?” responds with the old male chesnut…”Don’t play games with me.” You’d think he’d know by now that if he can’t see the Monopoly board poking out from my back pocket…the games have not yet begun
• The man who picks out the dark chocolate, because he knows you like it the most, fails to tell you of it’s caffiene content which leads to you both lying awake for most of the night clawing at imaginary bugs crawling… crawling…
• The man who will watch a chick flick video with you (the night before he spouts the ‘game-playing’ comment) and tells you he really enjoyed it
• The man who does magpie impersonsations so he can feed birds cheese
• The man who will play ‘Norwegian Wood’ on guitar for your mother to carol along to and hum through the lyrics she can’t remember (most of them)

Who Is This Man?(see below)

This Man Is:

…and right now you can find him stomping around the back of the house with the intent (I suspect) af making a curiously beautiful wine rack in the least amount of possible time so he can throw it at me whilst screaming…
“TIME? TIME? It didn’t take me ANY TIME AT ALL!”
…and I’ll throw back the bottle that I’m going to have to start emptying very shortly as a coping mechanism, in the happy knowledge that he’ll know exactly where to put it.