B: I have a terrible craving for steak
M: (muses) Mmm, we don’t eat much protein…what about some sausages for lunch?
B: (gags) I think they have more dog than protein.
B: (baaing) Leeee-sah, I thought you laaahved me….
M: Well, you did eat eggs last night – they have protein.
B: But I read that you need to eat stuff that either swims, runs or flies…(ponders) a recently submerged flying kanagroo would seem to be the best option.
M: (humours her with some lacklustre laughter)
B: OK then. How about some beer.
M: …and bread?
The Simpsons: – Lisa the Vegetarian
The family begins to chew. Lisa sees a vision of the baby lamb appear
before her, missing the lamb chops on her plate.
Lamb: [In a baaa-ful voice…] Please Lisa, I thought you loved me, loved me.
Marge: What’s wrong, Lisa? Didn’t you get enough lamb chops? [Places more on her plate.] Lisa: I can’t eat this. I can’t eat a poor little lamb. [Pushes her plate away.] Homer: Lisa, get a hold of yourself. This is lamb, not _a_ lamb.
Lisa: What’s the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me?
Bart: This one spent two hours in the broiler. [Takes a big chomp.] Marge: Bart! Sensible bites! All right, Lisa, if you don’t want lamb chops, there are lots of other things I can make. Chicken breast. Rump roast. Hot dogs.
Each forms an image in Lisa’s mind. The corresponding part falls off
onto a plate.
Lisa: No I can’t! I can’t eat any of them!
Homer: Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you’re *never* going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.