A grand night was had – many prawns eaten, many Illusions drunk. Lollies, pistachios….the oysters bigger than my head were the only downer. They were terrible. We got remembered by lots of people – my phone got lots of text messages that all said the same thing…’Get a haircut’. I lie. I have been texting people back this morning, and this makes it sound simple. But in actual fact I have to have my phone positioned halfway out the second window from the wall in my study to make the messages go.

At midnight last night we crept outside to see what would happen. We weren’t let down. True to our expectations, their were boat flares fired instead of fireworks, shotguns firing instead of, um, fireworks and that was about it! This all sounds rather disfunctional – but M and I had a lovely night; didn’t get stuck anywhere unable to get a taxi home, didn’t have to grit our teeth and mingle with the neighbours and didn’t get throttled by semi-naked senior citizens inebriated by too much trifle. Hope everyone had a lovely New Years, except for you Tom – I anticipate as part of your karmic retribution you would have been scouring London for a lift home, or passed out in a club somewhere having been trampled by members of the Fiennes family.