m i a o w

–YOU KNOW YOU KNEAD IT–

We’d Only Just Begun

A sad day indeed. My laptop and I were parted from each other today by the firm but gentle hands of a policeman called Shane. I reached for its black-clad exterior and thought I heard it’s battery pulse in panic. The fact that it was fried by lightening two weeks ago ceased to matter…but it was not to be. Shane had a search warrant and everything, though he did assure me that he was confident that he wouldn’t have to use it…as long as I stopped gripping my laptop as he tried to stow it in his car. Unmarked car. Oh. And the guy who stole all these IBM Thinkpads goes by the name of Mark Ryan. So if anyone comes across him, please sit on him hard until he coughs up the one and a helf thousand dollars he owes me and at least twenty other people. He’ll probably be in Melbourne somewhere awaiting his court case, so keep an eye out. Bastard.

As soon as the police car disappeared I jumped on the phone and started doing heavy breathing at my insurance company. It seems that they are waiting on a report from the Bureau of Meteorology to confirm my report of an electrical storm on the night of the 23rd of November. After all the work I did for the Bureau, they’re dragging their bloody heels on the one thing I’ve ever asked of them ;o)
And if you’re out there David Jackson, and still alive, maybe you could throw a good word in for me to the people that bring us the weather. Just a thought.

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2 Comments

  1. David

    What do you want me to do. I am not too sure where our claims department is. I also know a Mark Ryan. Went to school with him in the eighties. He had bad hair but so did everyone else.

  2. I want you to tell them to fax AAMI and tell them that I was so very nearly struck by lightening on the 23rd of November that it’s lucky I’m just claiming the death of my laptop and not my own self.

    Hunt down Mark Ryan and extract money from him. I’ll give you a cut. More if you kick him.

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