m i a o w


Stinky Tram

I ride the train to work, and I am kind of thankful that I get on one station from the end of the line – that way I get a seat all the way into the city. The problem is, then I have to get a tram up to the State Library tramstop – I try to avoid those new trams, because, frankly, they reek. I’m not sure how to describe the reek, but it’s a mixture of plasticky newness combined with an ingrained stale kind of odour, and first thing in the morning, it doesn’t do a lot for my state of mind. Thank god I didn’t get on one last Monday (hungover) morning. It would have been the end of me.

So now I’m trying to figure out how quickly to get across to Yarraville in my lunchbreak, and the VicTrip site is so incredibly, craply, non-user friendly, that it makes me want to take huge chunks out of my monitor whenever I look it up. It’s Trip Planner (that used to work perfectly well until they ‘upgraded’ the site i.e made it unusable, unnavigable…) spacks out with an error every time I try to use it. Argh. It makes me want to kill. But valiantly witholding my homicidal urges, instead I went to the M>Train page. I was not stunned to discover that this didn’t help much. In fact, obviously it’s just indicative of the way my day is going to pan out, but the two trains that I can catch are the particular ones that the timetable says:

North Melbourne 12.46 12.56
Flagstaff 1.03 1.11
Melbourne Central 1.01 1.09
Parliament 12.59 1.07
Spencer Street 12.49 12.59
Flinders Street Arr. 12.53 1.03

So these Werribee line trains actually jump forward in time and then snap quickly backward before they are sucked down a convienient vortex. I just know I”m not going to make it there on time.


Tadpole Hole


EBay 12 Steps


  1. Right there with you re: new trams – they suck major arse. Plus there’s hardly any seats, and how the hell is an old person supposed to get on and off without falling over? Waste of money. Hmph.

    I also have an amazing time-jumping tram in North Fitzroy, too. Apparently the 112 travels back and forth in time along Brunswick Street. At least, that’s what the timetable would indicate. 🙂

  2. You are sooo right about the weirdo seating layout. I had this old lady half sitting on my lap all the way down Vic Parade the other day…
    Ah so you’ve been doing the Brunswick Street time travel – I’ve been doing Preston via Smith Street (The no.86). That doesn’t jump in time WHATSOEVER – it’s practically the next day when I arrive at work, it takes SO long.

  3. I used to catch the freak shuttle everyday, and by the time I moved house I was ready to strangle somebody! The 86 really is a less-than-average tram service.

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