1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
The Baffling Bi-Ped Called Beth
2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?
It would feature;
Death to the MF – for the angsty bits
Carolyn’s Fingers – for the blissful bits
Peter Gunn Theme – for the suspenseful bits
Elevator music – for the boring office-work bits
Random Piano music – for the writing bits
Live Bidston Moss – for the gigging bits
3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
It would be live-action and animated, because I’d be in all the live-action bits and then when I got tired I’d get Dylan to animate me.
4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
Hum. I think that I would be played (if I didn’t play myself) by Parker Posey, Rose Byrne, or…hmmm, Helena Bonham Carter (purely for her hair quality). M would be played by Clive Owen (hee hee), Susan Sarandon would play my mother and Sean Connery could…oh…no he couldn’t. Having a lust object for a father is just too weird. I was going to make my dad played by Ian (newsreader for ABC-TV in Melbourne, but he’s a bit too tasteful also). I think my sister would be played by Meryl Streep and my brother…hum…Jude Law (as he doesn’t really do it for me). I would also have Viggo Mortensen play a family friend.
5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
Snappy. Fast edits. Hooky guitar riffs. Me looking dazzling in a variety of exciting locations…then some dramatic moments of anger and sorrow…followed by me drinking a Coopers Sparkling Ale driving the Humber into the sunset…