m i a o w

–YOU KNOW YOU KNEAD IT–

A Horse is a Horse

There are strange and interesting things brewing in the life of the cat, but they may not be spoken (or typed) of at present for they are but brewing and may not occur at all. It is an obscene hour of the morning (or it was when I got up). Couldn’t sleep and got up before 6am to go to the gym – as usual I got dressed in my gym clothes, dithered around finding my water bottle, membership card, bike lock key and was so exhausted by this that I didn’t feel up to facing the harsh lights and pumping bodies of Footscray Swim World or whatever it’s called.

‘Never fear,’ I told my brain, which refused to stop whirring on the topic of brewing. ‘We will ride the gallant steed! I shall name it….Shogun!’
So I jumped on my bike and decided to go down and ride along the river. There are a cat food supplements
huge amount of trucks around at that time of morning and also, as Summer fades (to my disgust), it's getting much darker - in fact it was very dark.

This made my ride rather exciting because I couldn't see amazingly well...I think that local governments must consider it wonderful that they've put in bike paths, but lighting them is obviously way too hard. Anyway I hammered on for quite a while, until the track seemed to become some kind of excavation zone. It turned to gravel, and as I'd already trusted myself to the gods on the tarmac, riding over gravel in the dark might have been pushing it. I saw all these people in long skinny boats practicing their rowing. I crossed over a bridge and decided to ride back home to the caravan along the other side of the river.

Oh dear. It all started OK and I realised I was riding along the back of Flemington Racecourse and all the horses were being exercised over the fence to the left of the bike track (the river being to the right). So that was kind of nice, riding along and looking at the horses plodding along...I could see their shapes and hear them snuffling because it was still quite dark. Then the bike track ended and I turned off to the left over the horse exercising track and on to an oval. Well, sort of more like a place that they hadn't yet decided what to do with yet and my bike got stuck in the sand. It was when I got off I realised I was in the middle of the whole horse track surrounded by horses going around in circles *sigh*

This kind of thing hasn't happened to me since I drove my Humber into the middle of a tram depot and ended up surrounded by trams (I had invaded their home) and jeering drivers. At least at the moment my hair is blonde, which kind of excuses me a little bit. Oh god. I bought a heavy duty bike lock the other day and am very proud of it, but the way it attaches to my bike means it clanks against my pack-rack frame. So, there I was, at 6:30am, in semi-darkness, walking my clanking bike with it's little flashing bike light as horses and their exercise-people tried to avoid me as I skulked like an idiot down their track back toward the bike path. That would have been fine if horses didn't find a freak wheeling a clanking flashing thing a little off-putting. So then they started to kind of make those scared whinnying noises and pull away from their humans who had to try and quiet them down. I tried to skulk more silently, but the only way I could do this was by slowing down (which I really didn't want to do). Finally I made it to the bike path leaving chaos in my wake, found that the bike path didn't actually end but continued secretly through a gate and rode of grinning fixedly until I was out of sight (when I began rocking back and forth whilst moaning softly - quite hard while riding but I seemed to manage).

God knows what the rest of my day is going to be like. I have the fear.

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5 Comments

  1. I thought for *sure* you were going to say, after ‘It was when I got off I realised …’, that suddenly the PA announcer would blare over the loudspeakers, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a surprise entry in this 1-3/4 mile race! An unnumbered palomino-maned filly measuring nearly 18 hands high on the outside lane!” as your saucer eyes turn to see 8 giant horses thundering down upon you…

    So you see, it could have been worse 🙂

  2. OK, you’re right. It *could* have been worse, but frightening the horses at that hour of the morning by invading their turf with my bike is still bad dream material. Actually…that’s what it seems like now!
    Go the Frog!

  3. Hippo Griff

    i just bought a new bike. a giant sedona street 21 speed hybrid. suspension seat post and gel-filled seat. a 1cm-thick steel cable security lock. i chained it up at the station and when i returned it was gone. the moral of the story is, (as in amsterdam) only ride crappy bikes around fremantle.

  4. That is Sad! I think the key to keeping hold of your property is to drive/ride things that won’t appeal to people. That said, I wouldn’t chain my bike up at Footscray station – too scary. I do know that with some expensive bike-locks you can get bike insurance if your bike is stole while using the lock? The terms ‘suspension seat post’ and ‘gel filled seat’ and ’21 speed’ fill me with awe. I am going to put the MP3 about the bike on the page now, in memory of the Sedona :o(

  5. hippogriff

    hi miss cat, thank you for the ‘ten speed’ mp3 dedication, ’tis one of my fave moss songs. You’ll be happy to know that I have purchased a new bike. It’s green, makes clanky sounds and cost me 20 bucks. i like it a lot. Has a lot of character. Definitely not steal-worthy.It could be something of a 2-wheeled Humber, perhaps. 8)

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