What a weekend! All the excitement of unbearable heat, coupled with a medieval murder party, followed by a naturalization ceremony and the barbeque to end all barbeques. I’m bloody exhausted. All that plus having to move out of Collingwood yesterday, thus foiling my plan to hit the Big Day Out *sigh*. Checked this page before and it didn’t exist, then five minutes later it’s reappeared…very suspicious. The murder party was v.cool! Chris wrote it all herself and I made a ‘cone hat’ – which is as near as 44 degrees would let me get to medieval. On Australia Day we arose (having slept about two hours in total because of the heat) and cruised out to Bundoora in the Humber – politicians were in attendance and there were at least 150 people there to be naturalized.

We sat up the back with some friends, and after all the usual politic-talk (brightened only by the first guy who gave an Aboriginal welcome to everybody and explained the dodginess inherent in the day that makes a lot of people feel weird about celebrating it) they began calling out people’s names; who had to go up on stage, get their citizenship certificate, shake all the dignitaries hands, grab a native plant in a pot and walk off the other side. So they started with all these kind of Somali, African, Vietnamese sounding names and no one was really giving a cheer or anything. (I was tempted to wonder about what the equivalent ceremony of citizenship on Australia Day would be like in the US – I doubt it would have been in a marquee in the middle of a drought-struck park with the mayor brushing flies out of his eyes – it was deliciously lacking in pomp). Anyway, they finally called out ‘David Honeybone’ and we all stood up and cheered and made all the politicians laugh. They did ask if anyone who was already an Australian citizen wanted to reaffirm their citizenship with an oath. Everyone except about six people looked incredibly mortified and studied their toes. I thought it might have meant saying that ridiculous oath that they came up with a month or so back (you can find my favourite article on the oath here), but it was just a simple one and not too scary. I didn’t do it, though if they’d offered a native plant…

Then back to the new citizens house for a bbq that went on for a considerable amount of time! I had a ticket to see Wilco that night that the lovely Claire (who was too sick to go) had donated to me. I assumed they’d be playing at around midnight, so went to leave at 11pm; I rang the venue to check what time they were starting so I wouldn’t be standing around on my own like a loser for too long and they said that they were on at 10:30!!! I could have kicked a hole in the wall, I was so f**ked off. Instead I drank more beer until I was carted home at about 1am. I am so sad. Grrr. Sad and dumb.

Monday was spent clearing out of Collingwood, trying to find out how to get the ‘quick release’ wheel off my bike (gave up and just let down the tyre – couldn’t figure out how to slacken the brakes off enough). Am glad to be home, though being in Collingwood was awesome; think I have been forgiven for fish situation (eek!) – have been invited over for dinner tomorrow night (maybe they’re just luring me over to torture me?) My note I left on their table went something like:

Sorry about the black fish – it floated up and died
Sorry about the little fish – it disappeared and the tank had a lid?!
Sorry about the cd player – it jammed with a cd in it and won’t open
Sorry about the bottle bin – somebody stole it from out the front
Sorry about the dead pigeon buried in the garden – it ate too many peaches
Sorry about the absence of hair conditioner, I would have replaced it but I couldn’t find anywhere that sold it.

I’m so going to be tortured. I can feel it in my bones.

PS I saw The Gleaners and I tonight and it was cool.