For weeks now I have been sitting here learning more and more about probabilistic weather forecasts, not really knowing to what purpose this might be, (whilst daydreaming about whether to hit the Big Day Out, or to cough up and see PJ Harvey on her own). Important stuff like that. Finally my boss calls through from home (which he is convinced is going to be razed by bush fire at any moment) and has decided (after the debacle in Canberra) to concentrate on fire. So I have just been informed to tie up my research into a report to clear the way for new work…I am soooo dumb. I asked him how long he wanted it. Silly, silly moi.
‘Short and punchy – about ten pages should do it.’
I fall off my chair.
I still haven’t figured out how to use this Endnote program we’re supposed to use for referencing and although I have a pile of information taller than my head I don’t think that even I can wank on for that long. I’m debating whether to begin pulling out clumps of my hair now, or just simmer quietly over the long weekend and commence full-blown self-mutilating stress disorder on Tuesday. Probably the latter.

Got a wellness dog vitamins
postcard last night from the people whose house I’ve been minding since Christmas – right at the end of it, in the tiniest possible writing, it says “home on the 27th at 8pm”. After a minor freak out over what date it actually was at the time I was reading it and whether that sound of a car pulling up outside was them coming in to maim me for killing off two of their fish, I realised I still have tonight and the weekend to get everything in order and crank out another 5000 words. It is quite hard pulling prose from my brain, but it’s definitely not as hard as attempting to write ten pages assessing the cool factor of probabilistic forecasting. Particularly considering that I’m not a meteorologist (which is probably – sorry – who’ll be reading it). I’m a bloody arts graduate. I don’t do this science-y stuff. At any rate, I’m supposed to be looking at whether the public understand it. I’ve decided that they do – so I’ve just got to elaborate on the words ‘they do’ for a considerable amount of time and…
Tah Dah! There will be my report.
[groan]